Anachronism - an inconsistency in some chronological arrangement, especially a chronological misplacing of persons, events, objects, or customs in regard to each other.
This is what I felt like this morning. Getting ready to go to work at Melrose Plantation, I stood in front of the mirror after showering and dressing halfway. As I started getting ready to shave, I saw this in the mirror: a mid-30s man wearing a short-sleeved t-shirt and tan slacks, putting shaving cream on his face, while this played on the radio:
I was this close to thinking "I wonder how Ike's meeting with the commies went yesterday." Only a billboard with a Burma Shave ad could make this day complete.
I was reminded of the day I was sitting in the conference room at work with a few friends, and I said something about the movie Mister Roberts (1955). One of them looked at me and said, "Scotty, sometimes you sound a lot older than you look."
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Rules
Today's post will be predictably disjointed, as I'm watching Monday Night Football and occasionally flipping to ABC to see if Hope Solo is on Dancing With the Stars yet. I've watched about thirty seconds of the latter so far, which is about twenty-nine seconds more than I had ever watched before.
Let's talk about rules. I like rules. They tell you where you stand, or at least where you're supposed to stand. There are sorts of rules. There are laws, which are society's written rules. There are customs, which are society's unwritten rules. There is religion, which sets down human behavior in relation to each other and the divine. When I started paying attention to football, it wasn't because I was rooting so hard for one team or another. It was so I could try and diagnose what kind of play was being called and what the penalties were. Why was this allowed and that was not? It was only later when I realized "Hey, there are teams from Louisiana that play this game" that I found a real rooting interest.
There's an important element to learning the rules that sometimes goes unnoticed. If you don't know the rules, then how can you enjoy breaking them? There's no thrill or sense of danger if you don't have that fear of getting caught doing something wrong. I sometimes think about this exchange from the The Golden Child:
Old Man: Remember to stay on the path!
Jarrell: I heard you the first time! The path better stay under me!
...
Jarrell: I thought you said to stay on the path!
Old Man: Yes, but you must know when to break the rules!
(NOTE: I do not advocate breaking the rules often, mostly because I find it just as satisfying to find a way to make them not apply to me)
(NOTE #2: The Golden Child is 25 years old)
When I was younger -- probably around the time of Scotty Version 2.0 or so -- I actually wrote out a list of rules for how I would live. I've forgotten almost all of them, but I think the list was probably around 70 items or so. I vaguely remember throwing it out when I was in high school or college, and I'd probably die of embarrassment if you showed it to me today.
Sometime while I was living in Falls Church, VA I started to come up with a much shorter and less pretentious series of rules. It now reads something like this:
1) Don't be stupid (I think about this one a lot)
2) When you've got the money, take the money
3) If you have the chance of driving or being driven, be driven
4) Never pass up a chance to go to the bathroom
5) The ruling of the waitress is absolute [provided that a) the waitress is a good waitress and b) I'm the one who decides if the waitress is good or not]
Lately I've been thinking about creating a completely different set of rules for dealing with drunk girls. I had a very nice conversation with a girl I drove home one night, and two nights later I saw her in public and she said, "Thanks for giving me a ride home the other night. I can't remember a single thing we talked about."
Ouch.
A couple of weeks ago I was sitting at a bar when a girl walked in with her date. He went to the men's room, and she walked up to the bar and stood between me and another guy. Then she asked me if I wanted to get out on the dance floor with her. Now, I don't really care about any sort of 'man code' or whatever they call the nonsense frat boys come up with to govern relations among themselves, but I'm not dancing with a girl who's just tried to ditch her date (who presumably paid for dinner elsewhere before driving her here, and is presumably paying for drinks) when he goes to the bathroom. I'd be upset (more like incensed) if a girl pulled that on me. When I pointed out that she was already there with someone, she said he was "just some guy my cousin set me up with."
It's kind of a shame, because she looked like a lot of fun. If she'd left with the guy and come back by herself, I may have taken her up on her offer. Alas, she acted like she was even more trouble than she was fun.
If I were to come up with rules for dealing with drunk girls, they'd probably go something like:
"Listen to everything she says about other people and nothing she says about you"
"Don't dance with a girl who looks like she's trying to dump her date"
Doing those two things might save me a lot of grief.
Let's talk about rules. I like rules. They tell you where you stand, or at least where you're supposed to stand. There are sorts of rules. There are laws, which are society's written rules. There are customs, which are society's unwritten rules. There is religion, which sets down human behavior in relation to each other and the divine. When I started paying attention to football, it wasn't because I was rooting so hard for one team or another. It was so I could try and diagnose what kind of play was being called and what the penalties were. Why was this allowed and that was not? It was only later when I realized "Hey, there are teams from Louisiana that play this game" that I found a real rooting interest.
There's an important element to learning the rules that sometimes goes unnoticed. If you don't know the rules, then how can you enjoy breaking them? There's no thrill or sense of danger if you don't have that fear of getting caught doing something wrong. I sometimes think about this exchange from the The Golden Child:
Old Man: Remember to stay on the path!
Jarrell: I heard you the first time! The path better stay under me!
...
Jarrell: I thought you said to stay on the path!
Old Man: Yes, but you must know when to break the rules!
(NOTE: I do not advocate breaking the rules often, mostly because I find it just as satisfying to find a way to make them not apply to me)
(NOTE #2: The Golden Child is 25 years old)
When I was younger -- probably around the time of Scotty Version 2.0 or so -- I actually wrote out a list of rules for how I would live. I've forgotten almost all of them, but I think the list was probably around 70 items or so. I vaguely remember throwing it out when I was in high school or college, and I'd probably die of embarrassment if you showed it to me today.
Sometime while I was living in Falls Church, VA I started to come up with a much shorter and less pretentious series of rules. It now reads something like this:
1) Don't be stupid (I think about this one a lot)
2) When you've got the money, take the money
3) If you have the chance of driving or being driven, be driven
4) Never pass up a chance to go to the bathroom
5) The ruling of the waitress is absolute [provided that a) the waitress is a good waitress and b) I'm the one who decides if the waitress is good or not]
Lately I've been thinking about creating a completely different set of rules for dealing with drunk girls. I had a very nice conversation with a girl I drove home one night, and two nights later I saw her in public and she said, "Thanks for giving me a ride home the other night. I can't remember a single thing we talked about."
Ouch.
A couple of weeks ago I was sitting at a bar when a girl walked in with her date. He went to the men's room, and she walked up to the bar and stood between me and another guy. Then she asked me if I wanted to get out on the dance floor with her. Now, I don't really care about any sort of 'man code' or whatever they call the nonsense frat boys come up with to govern relations among themselves, but I'm not dancing with a girl who's just tried to ditch her date (who presumably paid for dinner elsewhere before driving her here, and is presumably paying for drinks) when he goes to the bathroom. I'd be upset (more like incensed) if a girl pulled that on me. When I pointed out that she was already there with someone, she said he was "just some guy my cousin set me up with."
It's kind of a shame, because she looked like a lot of fun. If she'd left with the guy and come back by herself, I may have taken her up on her offer. Alas, she acted like she was even more trouble than she was fun.
If I were to come up with rules for dealing with drunk girls, they'd probably go something like:
"Listen to everything she says about other people and nothing she says about you"
"Don't dance with a girl who looks like she's trying to dump her date"
Doing those two things might save me a lot of grief.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
CTP Metoyer Cleaning
Here is a video of me discussing the cleaning project for the Claude Thomas Pierre Metoyer grave in the American Cemetery in Natchitoches, LA. To read a writeup of the project, visit my business website here.
At times I look like a disembodied head floating above a blue blob. Whatever you do, please don't make me listen to the sound of my own voice.
At times I look like a disembodied head floating above a blue blob. Whatever you do, please don't make me listen to the sound of my own voice.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Travelin' Man
I've been either on the road or out of town quite a bit lately, spending at least one day each of the past five weekends driving to or from Natchitoches. It started with a trip to New Orleans on the Sunday of the Women's World Cup final between Japan and the United States. I have previously used this space to praise the Women's US National Team, and today will be no different. I love how they play, even when they don't always play well. At their best they play with relentless energy and love for their teammates. This year's team gave outstanding effort all the way through, and I felt they played their best game of the tournament in the final.
Alas, it turned out to be a losing effort. Four or five scoring chances (at least) in the first half went off target. Japan came back from a goal down on two separate occasions and looked like the calmer, more professional side when it came down to penalty kicks. This was the first time the US had made the WWC final without winning, and the US has still never won a World Cup on foreign soil. We'll get 'em next time.
New Orleans/Orange Beach
I watched the game with a friend of mine at Finn McCool's in New Orleans. Depending on the results in the semifinals, I told her I might be watching the US play in the finals on Sunday. She said she'd join me to watch. So on Sunday I picked her up at her house and we drove over to Banks St. Parking spots near the bar were all filled, and she said, "Oh, I know why there are so many cars here. There's some sort of big soccer thing today and this is a big soccer bar. That's what there here to watch."
Me: "I hope they're showing it," I said, "because that's what we're here to watch."
Her: "Really? I thought we were here to watch a tennis match!"
Me: "Tennis? Why would I invite you to come watch tennis with me?"
Her: "I dunno. I just knew you were a big sports fan, and I thought there was some big tennis thing going on that you wanted to watch."
Me: "No, we're here to see the Women's World Cup final!"
When we had parked and gone inside I asked her, "Were you really going to come here and watch tennis with me?" She said yes, and I said, "Wow, you're a really good friend!" For whatever reason she had really thought I wanted to come watch a big tennis match at a bar.
The next day I picked up a cousin in Baton Rouge and drove to Orange Beach, AL for a week of (mostly) relaxing at the beach. I went to Florabama for the first time, a bar that straddles the state line between Florida and Alabama. At one point I was spotted by a former State Quiz Bowl participant who recognized me as the moderator for the last two TV rounds. Luckily I was not doing anything inappropriate at the time.
The water at the beach was clear and warm, which I like, but calm, which I don't. I like to crash against some surf to pass the time. Other than that I have no complaints, and we came back to Natchitoches the next Saturday.
New Orleans/Baton Rouge
After a few days at home I left town again to go to a cousin's wedding in Baton Rouge -- so of course we went to New Orleans first and ate at Galatoire's. I won't tell you what we talked about, but I will say that when you have the busboy behind you go wide-eyed and start laughing very hard, you've had a good night.
Thursday we had lunch at Willie Mae's Scotch House on St. Ann Street. I'd been hearing for a few years how good the fried chicken was. The menu item is called simply "America's Best Fried Chicken" and comes with three pieces and a side. Due to what I assume must be plate size constraints, the chicken for most of us came out on a single platter. The pieces were hot and juicy. The skin was not thick but very crispy. I will tell you how good it was using this example:
When I bit into a piece and juice started rolling down my chin, I did not reach for a napkin to wipe it away. Instead I used the fingers on my right hand to try and scoop it back into my mouth. It was that good. On the way back to Baton Rouge that afternoon the most common refrain in the car was "Damn, that was good fried chicken."
If you have a long life ahead of you, I recommend both Galatoire's and Willie Mae's but not on the same day. For if you have them on the same day, you will be dead. Not in the physical sense, but you will be dead to any future food experience for the rest of your life. Nothing will be that good. You would also be on your way to being the 500-pound alcoholic a N.O. native I know says they would be if they still lived there. If you've got a week to live, then I say go for it.
The wedding was short and lovely at White Oak Plantation. The first dance song was "Rainbow Connection" sung by Kermit the Frog. I thought that was an inspired choice. The recessional song was "Don't Know Much About History", also a nice changeup from what we're used to hearing at weddings.
Houston
Next Friday my dad and I went to Houston to see my uncle, who is a Dominican priest. We stayed at the priory he lives in with several other priests. We were the first to stay in the newly-added section. We went to the Brewers-Astros game that night at Minute Maid Park. I thought it was a very stale environment to watch a baseball game. It feels like you're in an office building that's had a baseball field built into it. It got a little better when they opened up the roof after the game to show fireworks. The Brewers are good, the Astros are not, and that's all I'll say about the game itself.
We took it easy Saturday, having lunch at an English pub type place and dinner at a friend's house that evening. Sunday we went with my uncle as he said Mass and then headed back home.
New Orleans (again)
Another trip to New Orleans, and dinner at Vincent's on St. Charles Sunday night. Monday we had brunch at Camellia Grill (bacon omelet with hash browns), then I went with a cousin to Clearview Mall to see Captain America, which I thought was pretty good. Good action, good acting, a solid comic-style storyline involving godly powers, Nazis and America. It also sets up for the Avengers movie coming out in the near future. Dinner at Superior restaurant near the hotel closed things out.
I don't want to alarm anyone, but it looks like I'll be spending the entire upcoming weekend in Natchitoches.
Miscellaneous
ESPN3 is a wonderful thing. A lot of stuff you miss in real time can be replayed online. Watching the Barcelona-Real Madrid soccer game, I noticed a difference in American sporting events and Spanish League football. Before games here, some current pop/hip-hop/country song is probably playing to get the crowd revved up. At the Bernabéu they were playing Nessun Dorma. Advantage, España.
Alas, it turned out to be a losing effort. Four or five scoring chances (at least) in the first half went off target. Japan came back from a goal down on two separate occasions and looked like the calmer, more professional side when it came down to penalty kicks. This was the first time the US had made the WWC final without winning, and the US has still never won a World Cup on foreign soil. We'll get 'em next time.
New Orleans/Orange Beach
I watched the game with a friend of mine at Finn McCool's in New Orleans. Depending on the results in the semifinals, I told her I might be watching the US play in the finals on Sunday. She said she'd join me to watch. So on Sunday I picked her up at her house and we drove over to Banks St. Parking spots near the bar were all filled, and she said, "Oh, I know why there are so many cars here. There's some sort of big soccer thing today and this is a big soccer bar. That's what there here to watch."
Me: "I hope they're showing it," I said, "because that's what we're here to watch."
Her: "Really? I thought we were here to watch a tennis match!"
Me: "Tennis? Why would I invite you to come watch tennis with me?"
Her: "I dunno. I just knew you were a big sports fan, and I thought there was some big tennis thing going on that you wanted to watch."
Me: "No, we're here to see the Women's World Cup final!"
When we had parked and gone inside I asked her, "Were you really going to come here and watch tennis with me?" She said yes, and I said, "Wow, you're a really good friend!" For whatever reason she had really thought I wanted to come watch a big tennis match at a bar.
The next day I picked up a cousin in Baton Rouge and drove to Orange Beach, AL for a week of (mostly) relaxing at the beach. I went to Florabama for the first time, a bar that straddles the state line between Florida and Alabama. At one point I was spotted by a former State Quiz Bowl participant who recognized me as the moderator for the last two TV rounds. Luckily I was not doing anything inappropriate at the time.
The water at the beach was clear and warm, which I like, but calm, which I don't. I like to crash against some surf to pass the time. Other than that I have no complaints, and we came back to Natchitoches the next Saturday.
New Orleans/Baton Rouge
After a few days at home I left town again to go to a cousin's wedding in Baton Rouge -- so of course we went to New Orleans first and ate at Galatoire's. I won't tell you what we talked about, but I will say that when you have the busboy behind you go wide-eyed and start laughing very hard, you've had a good night.
Thursday we had lunch at Willie Mae's Scotch House on St. Ann Street. I'd been hearing for a few years how good the fried chicken was. The menu item is called simply "America's Best Fried Chicken" and comes with three pieces and a side. Due to what I assume must be plate size constraints, the chicken for most of us came out on a single platter. The pieces were hot and juicy. The skin was not thick but very crispy. I will tell you how good it was using this example:
When I bit into a piece and juice started rolling down my chin, I did not reach for a napkin to wipe it away. Instead I used the fingers on my right hand to try and scoop it back into my mouth. It was that good. On the way back to Baton Rouge that afternoon the most common refrain in the car was "Damn, that was good fried chicken."
If you have a long life ahead of you, I recommend both Galatoire's and Willie Mae's but not on the same day. For if you have them on the same day, you will be dead. Not in the physical sense, but you will be dead to any future food experience for the rest of your life. Nothing will be that good. You would also be on your way to being the 500-pound alcoholic a N.O. native I know says they would be if they still lived there. If you've got a week to live, then I say go for it.
The wedding was short and lovely at White Oak Plantation. The first dance song was "Rainbow Connection" sung by Kermit the Frog. I thought that was an inspired choice. The recessional song was "Don't Know Much About History", also a nice changeup from what we're used to hearing at weddings.
Houston
Next Friday my dad and I went to Houston to see my uncle, who is a Dominican priest. We stayed at the priory he lives in with several other priests. We were the first to stay in the newly-added section. We went to the Brewers-Astros game that night at Minute Maid Park. I thought it was a very stale environment to watch a baseball game. It feels like you're in an office building that's had a baseball field built into it. It got a little better when they opened up the roof after the game to show fireworks. The Brewers are good, the Astros are not, and that's all I'll say about the game itself.
We took it easy Saturday, having lunch at an English pub type place and dinner at a friend's house that evening. Sunday we went with my uncle as he said Mass and then headed back home.
New Orleans (again)
Another trip to New Orleans, and dinner at Vincent's on St. Charles Sunday night. Monday we had brunch at Camellia Grill (bacon omelet with hash browns), then I went with a cousin to Clearview Mall to see Captain America, which I thought was pretty good. Good action, good acting, a solid comic-style storyline involving godly powers, Nazis and America. It also sets up for the Avengers movie coming out in the near future. Dinner at Superior restaurant near the hotel closed things out.
I don't want to alarm anyone, but it looks like I'll be spending the entire upcoming weekend in Natchitoches.
Miscellaneous
ESPN3 is a wonderful thing. A lot of stuff you miss in real time can be replayed online. Watching the Barcelona-Real Madrid soccer game, I noticed a difference in American sporting events and Spanish League football. Before games here, some current pop/hip-hop/country song is probably playing to get the crowd revved up. At the Bernabéu they were playing Nessun Dorma. Advantage, España.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Tickets! Who's Got Tickets?
I do. Sort of.
This morning I opened up my copy of Will Durant's "The Life of Greece" and found these:
Two tickets each to three matches of Olympic soccer held at the Citrus Bowl in Orlando in 1996. We saw the US Women play Sweden. Suiting up for Sweden that day was a girl named Pia Sundhage. Fifteen years later, she's coaching the US team in the World Cup.
(Note: I'm currently inclined to take the position Michael Davies and Roger Bennett of ESPN's Off the Ball podcast, which is that THIS is the World Cup, and the one played by men should be called the Men's World Cup.)
Later that same day, July 23, 1996, we saw Japan play Nigeria. I remember enjoying Nigeria's style of play and listening to their fans beat the drums.
I also remember playing putt-putt golf with my sister the night before, and meeting a group of teenage boys and girls who were sort of goofing off and letting us play through. As we sat at the top of the Citrus Bowl bleachers in front of the luxury boxes, we heard a banging on the glass behind us. We turned around and saw the same kids we'd seen the night before. I like that story.
Looking back at the schedule for those games, I think we also saw Spain beat Saudi Arabia and Nigeria beat Hungary.
Today the US Women play France. I suppose it's too much to hope for that France will just surrender before the match.
This morning I opened up my copy of Will Durant's "The Life of Greece" and found these:
Two tickets each to three matches of Olympic soccer held at the Citrus Bowl in Orlando in 1996. We saw the US Women play Sweden. Suiting up for Sweden that day was a girl named Pia Sundhage. Fifteen years later, she's coaching the US team in the World Cup.
(Note: I'm currently inclined to take the position Michael Davies and Roger Bennett of ESPN's Off the Ball podcast, which is that THIS is the World Cup, and the one played by men should be called the Men's World Cup.)
Later that same day, July 23, 1996, we saw Japan play Nigeria. I remember enjoying Nigeria's style of play and listening to their fans beat the drums.
I also remember playing putt-putt golf with my sister the night before, and meeting a group of teenage boys and girls who were sort of goofing off and letting us play through. As we sat at the top of the Citrus Bowl bleachers in front of the luxury boxes, we heard a banging on the glass behind us. We turned around and saw the same kids we'd seen the night before. I like that story.
Looking back at the schedule for those games, I think we also saw Spain beat Saudi Arabia and Nigeria beat Hungary.
Today the US Women play France. I suppose it's too much to hope for that France will just surrender before the match.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
WWC 2011
The Women's World Cup is held the year after the men's tournament, and this year's event is in Germany. The US is ranked #1 in the world, but Germany is considered the favorite. They have won the last two World Cups, and the US has not won one on foreign soil. A few notes from watching the first set of group stage matches:
1) Please watch this commercial. I already love Abby Wambach to begin with, so I'm happy to see her getting some face time. After watching the Italian team in last year's men's tournament, I started falling to the ground whenever a family member brushed lightly against me, screaming in pain, grabbing at different places as if I'd been shot. I particularly liked shouting, "My eyes!" even if I'd been touched on the elbow. The practice of diving is a huge problem in international soccer, and you can find over 3,200 results on youtube for "soccer diving".
2) This is the first WWC for Equatorial Guinea, a small country on the west coast of Africa sandwiched between Cameroon and Gabon (but you already knew that). I sometimes wonder about the differences between the men's and women's games. The announcers said that "EQG", as they called it, were missing some players they had used during qualifying. One was killed in an accident. Others couldn't prove they were really citizens. These sorts of things happen on the men's side as well. Then they said some players couldn't adequately answer -- and I quote -- "the gender question". Apparently a set of twin sisters on the team may have actually been twin brothers.
3) North Korea is a pretty strong force in Asian soccer on both the men's and women's side, but sometimes political or other off-the-field topics overshadow what happens on the field. In last year's men's tournament, the head coach said that North Korean leader Kim Jong Il was giving him strategic advice through an invisible cell phone. After the team lost 7-0 to Portugal, the players were subjected to a six-hour public humiliation, and the coach was sent to work on a construction site.
After the PRK women lost to the United States 2-0 (a game in which they played pretty well, I must say) the coach claimed that several of his players had been struck by lightning while training in Pyongyang.
North Korea is a pretty crappy, oppressive place, and I feel bad for the people who have to live there. Having said that, I have to admit that whenever one of their sports teams is involved in something, I pay attention. There's almost a guarantee that something quirky is going to happen.
------------------------------
Every time I see the word "guh" written in place of "girl", my eyes start to bleed and I die a little inside.
1) Please watch this commercial. I already love Abby Wambach to begin with, so I'm happy to see her getting some face time. After watching the Italian team in last year's men's tournament, I started falling to the ground whenever a family member brushed lightly against me, screaming in pain, grabbing at different places as if I'd been shot. I particularly liked shouting, "My eyes!" even if I'd been touched on the elbow. The practice of diving is a huge problem in international soccer, and you can find over 3,200 results on youtube for "soccer diving".
2) This is the first WWC for Equatorial Guinea, a small country on the west coast of Africa sandwiched between Cameroon and Gabon (but you already knew that). I sometimes wonder about the differences between the men's and women's games. The announcers said that "EQG", as they called it, were missing some players they had used during qualifying. One was killed in an accident. Others couldn't prove they were really citizens. These sorts of things happen on the men's side as well. Then they said some players couldn't adequately answer -- and I quote -- "the gender question". Apparently a set of twin sisters on the team may have actually been twin brothers.
3) North Korea is a pretty strong force in Asian soccer on both the men's and women's side, but sometimes political or other off-the-field topics overshadow what happens on the field. In last year's men's tournament, the head coach said that North Korean leader Kim Jong Il was giving him strategic advice through an invisible cell phone. After the team lost 7-0 to Portugal, the players were subjected to a six-hour public humiliation, and the coach was sent to work on a construction site.
After the PRK women lost to the United States 2-0 (a game in which they played pretty well, I must say) the coach claimed that several of his players had been struck by lightning while training in Pyongyang.
North Korea is a pretty crappy, oppressive place, and I feel bad for the people who have to live there. Having said that, I have to admit that whenever one of their sports teams is involved in something, I pay attention. There's almost a guarantee that something quirky is going to happen.
------------------------------
Every time I see the word "guh" written in place of "girl", my eyes start to bleed and I die a little inside.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Williams Grave Cleaning
I previously promised to talk about the wonders of Williams Grave Cleaning, so I shall do that now.
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During my first semester in the Heritage Resources program at NSU, our Methods class had something called a monument treatment assignment. Each student selected a gravestone -- headstone, flat marker, Woodmen of the World memorial, etc. -- and was responsible for cleaning it in the proper manner and documenting the entire process. Take pictures, note damage and staining, determine changes from start to finish, and keep a record of how long each step took.
I selected the grave of Mary Grace Williams, a child of my grandparents who was born and died on the same day. The stone was covered with gray and black dirt and biological growth. Upon cleaning I saw immediate results, as much of the staining came off during application of the cleaning solution and a water rinse. I thought the work was easy, straightforward, and satisfying. The fact that I was working on a family marker was an added bonus. This assignment eventually led to the development of my project thesis on cemetery preservation.
Fast forward to the summer of 2010, when I was looking around for work after graduation. I didn't find anything that I really wanted or that really wanted me, so by fall I started looking into starting my own grave cleaning company. I spoke to a historical society in Leesville, and one woman there told me that she was so glad to see this kind of business, because she didn't know anybody did that sort of thing.
In October I filed articles of organization with the Louisiana Secretary of State's office. Their letter back to me said that it was "a pleasure" to approve my articles. A friend joked that he could imagine them sitting at their desk, weeping as they read through my articles that had moved them so. There was more paperwork for the IRS, the state, the Natchitoches Zoning Board and the Natchitoches Tax Commission. The end result is that I've got a business license, a tax ID number, and a business banking account.
The best thing about the banking account is the business debit card that comes with it. It's pretty sweet. When we used to plan happy hours at Capitol Advantage, sometimes we made sure to invite someone with a company credit card on the off chance they might decide to use it on our behalf. I don't plan on too many company happy hours, but it's still a cool thing to have.
Back in November, the Jefferson Historical Society contacted Save Our Cemeteries about having preservation work done on the John McDonogh tomb in McDonoghville Cemetery in Gretna, LA. SOC referred them to me, and I had a meeting with a society member and the Mayor of Gretna at the site. I returned on January 6 and spent seven hours cleaning the tomb.
NOTE: The tomb is technically a cenotaph, since he is no longer buried there. Ten years after he was entombed, his body was moved back to his hometown of Baltimore.
It was a gorgeous 60-degree day without a cloud in the sky. If you've seen the movie Field of Dreams, you may remember the part where one of the ballplayers asks Kevin Costner, "Is this heaven?" and Costner replies, "No. This is Iowa." Around 3 in the afternoon I stepped back from the tomb and looked around, then looked at the sky. Was this heaven? No, this was Gretna. But it was still a great way to spend a day.
I wrote up a work report and invoice and sent it to the city, and this past week I got the check in the mail. I was quite happy. Now I'm a legitimate businessman, and I got to post the Facebook status I've been looking forward to for months:
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During my first semester in the Heritage Resources program at NSU, our Methods class had something called a monument treatment assignment. Each student selected a gravestone -- headstone, flat marker, Woodmen of the World memorial, etc. -- and was responsible for cleaning it in the proper manner and documenting the entire process. Take pictures, note damage and staining, determine changes from start to finish, and keep a record of how long each step took.
I selected the grave of Mary Grace Williams, a child of my grandparents who was born and died on the same day. The stone was covered with gray and black dirt and biological growth. Upon cleaning I saw immediate results, as much of the staining came off during application of the cleaning solution and a water rinse. I thought the work was easy, straightforward, and satisfying. The fact that I was working on a family marker was an added bonus. This assignment eventually led to the development of my project thesis on cemetery preservation.
Fast forward to the summer of 2010, when I was looking around for work after graduation. I didn't find anything that I really wanted or that really wanted me, so by fall I started looking into starting my own grave cleaning company. I spoke to a historical society in Leesville, and one woman there told me that she was so glad to see this kind of business, because she didn't know anybody did that sort of thing.
In October I filed articles of organization with the Louisiana Secretary of State's office. Their letter back to me said that it was "a pleasure" to approve my articles. A friend joked that he could imagine them sitting at their desk, weeping as they read through my articles that had moved them so. There was more paperwork for the IRS, the state, the Natchitoches Zoning Board and the Natchitoches Tax Commission. The end result is that I've got a business license, a tax ID number, and a business banking account.
The best thing about the banking account is the business debit card that comes with it. It's pretty sweet. When we used to plan happy hours at Capitol Advantage, sometimes we made sure to invite someone with a company credit card on the off chance they might decide to use it on our behalf. I don't plan on too many company happy hours, but it's still a cool thing to have.
Back in November, the Jefferson Historical Society contacted Save Our Cemeteries about having preservation work done on the John McDonogh tomb in McDonoghville Cemetery in Gretna, LA. SOC referred them to me, and I had a meeting with a society member and the Mayor of Gretna at the site. I returned on January 6 and spent seven hours cleaning the tomb.
NOTE: The tomb is technically a cenotaph, since he is no longer buried there. Ten years after he was entombed, his body was moved back to his hometown of Baltimore.
It was a gorgeous 60-degree day without a cloud in the sky. If you've seen the movie Field of Dreams, you may remember the part where one of the ballplayers asks Kevin Costner, "Is this heaven?" and Costner replies, "No. This is Iowa." Around 3 in the afternoon I stepped back from the tomb and looked around, then looked at the sky. Was this heaven? No, this was Gretna. But it was still a great way to spend a day.
I wrote up a work report and invoice and sent it to the city, and this past week I got the check in the mail. I was quite happy. Now I'm a legitimate businessman, and I got to post the Facebook status I've been looking forward to for months:
"Scott Williams is his own boss. I hate my boss."
I've got a couple more irons in the fire, which could be taking place in February. I will try to post about these on the Williams Grave Cleaning website.
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As an aside:
I spoke with someone the other day who asked if I wanted to live in New Orleans. I told him that years ago I wanted to live there for a couple of years, just to go through the seasons a couple of times and get into the flow of the city. My internship there in 2009 scratched that itch for a while, but I could still go back.
He said, "Well, I tried to get you a job down there the other day." The Chalmette Battlefield is part of the National Park Service, and they have about 15,000 marked graves in the cemetery there. He told the park folks that he knew somebody who would be happy to come down and clean them all.
For the record, it would take me a long, long, LONG time to do all of those. I don't even have a clue how long. But at about $35 each, it would cost them about half a million dollars. I think I could manage to live in New Orleans for half a million bucks.
I've got a couple more irons in the fire, which could be taking place in February. I will try to post about these on the Williams Grave Cleaning website.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As an aside:
I spoke with someone the other day who asked if I wanted to live in New Orleans. I told him that years ago I wanted to live there for a couple of years, just to go through the seasons a couple of times and get into the flow of the city. My internship there in 2009 scratched that itch for a while, but I could still go back.
He said, "Well, I tried to get you a job down there the other day." The Chalmette Battlefield is part of the National Park Service, and they have about 15,000 marked graves in the cemetery there. He told the park folks that he knew somebody who would be happy to come down and clean them all.
For the record, it would take me a long, long, LONG time to do all of those. I don't even have a clue how long. But at about $35 each, it would cost them about half a million dollars. I think I could manage to live in New Orleans for half a million bucks.
Thursday, February 03, 2011
The "Socialist" NFL
I know I was planning on writing about the wonders of Williams Grave Cleaning, and I will get around to it. However, someone directed my attention to Bill Maher's recent segment in which he states that the reason the NFL is so successful is that "the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives it to the poorer ones", ensuring equal opportunity and competitiveness for all. This results in more interest from the fans because everybody has a chance to reach the Super Bowl. The implication here is that America would be better off if we were more socialist and redistributed wealth like the NFL does.
Maher gives his argument very well. He should. He's on TV quite a bit, and he was a standup comedian for about 30 years. If that's not good training for expressing yourself and using words to good effect, then nothing is. Having said that, I'm a little surprised that he left out what I think are relevant factors in the NFL's success as a professional sport, as well as a pretty obvious trait of human nature (at least human nature as it exists among wealthy NFL owners).
To make sure I'm not misquoting or taking him out of context, the whole thing can be seen here on youtube; here are some of points:
Sharing/Redistributing
Numbers 1 and 9 aren't exactly the same thing. It's one thing if nobody has the money to begin with, and the money is distributed evenly among the participants. It's another thing if somebody has the money, and someone else comes along to take it away and give it to someone else. The NFL's TV money goes to each of the 32 teams in equal amounts right from the start. It's not like the Cowboys and Redskins have all the money and Roger Goodell plays Robin Hood, taking it from them to give to the lowly Packers and Steelers.
TV Ratings
Any comparison of television ratings is extremely misguided. Not because I don't believe them, but because of the nature of the sports themselves. Baseball is the greatest sport to watch in person, and people did so about 73 million times this past season. There is no such thing as a bad seat in a baseball park. Football is the perfect sport for television. It's got the right amount of time between plays, stats, graphics, timeouts, and bathroom opportunities at halftime. You would also have to have your head in the sand if you didn't think that the violence of the game had something to do with why people tune in to watch. Baseball is a skills game. Football is an athletic, impact game. The latter appeals to more people right now.
They don't share everything
Maher doesn't mention that it's only the TV money that gets shared equally. The gate is a 60-40 home team/away team split. None of the merchandising revenue is shared. None of the local licensing revenue is shared. None of the parking is shared. None of the box seats revenue is shared. None of the bajillion (technical term) other methods NFL teams use to increase revenue gets shared. And in this case, the big markets have a big advantage. They can use the extra money--they can do this, it doesn't mean they will do it--on salaries for their front office people, their coaches, their facilities, their scouts, and a lot of other off-the-field factors that go into having a successful franchise.
Salary Cap
This leads me to the salary cap, which is another element he left out of his argument. Every team is limited in how much they can spend on player salaries. (Of course "limited" is a relative term, since the 2009 salary cap was about $123 million). If there was revenue sharing with no salary cap, the big market teams might still be able to outspend the rest of the league and assemble teams of star player after star player after star player.
(NOTE: Even if Major League Baseball tried to implement a salary cap, I wonder if the player's union would allow it. In 2010 baseball had an average salary of $3,340133, about one million dollars more than the highest-average salary NFL team. Baseball players like being paid millions and millions of dollars a year)
You gotta be rich
Concerning #'s 6 and 7: are they true? Kind of. One of the biggest gripes about baseball is that the Yankees and Red Sox outspend everybody else and sign all the mega-free agents. Indeed, you have to go back to 1998 to find a year when the Yankees didn't lead the league in payroll. However, the idea that you must be one of the wealthiest franchises in order to make it to the World Series is off the mark. From 2000-2010, fifteen NFL franchises made the Super Bowl. The World Series? Fifteen. The average payroll position of the participants was 11th, and that includes teams that were 29th, 27th, 25th and 25th. The number of Super Bowl winners in that span is eight. World Series winners? Nine.
In general you have to be at least kind of wealthy -- top third or so -- to make it to the World Series, but it's not any sort of predictive measure.
It's A LOT of money and Human nature
One of the main reasons I think big market teams were willing to split TV money in the first place is that -- hello -- it's A LOT of stinking money. The current value of TV contracts is $20.4 billion dollars. This year Fox paid $712.5 million, NBC $650 million, CBS $622.5 million, and ESPN $1.1 billion for their respective rights. That's just over $3 billion to split among 32 teams, which comes out to over $96 million just for showing up. That's a pretty nice deal.
This is where I think the human nature part of it comes into play. It's easy to say, "Yes, let's all share" when there's a lot to go around. What if there wasn't as much money? 75% as much. 50% as much. 40% as much. I don't know exactly what the number would be, but at a certain point the big market teams would look around and say, "That's about enough of this. My team is responsible for five teams as much TV viewership as this other guy, and he still gets the same amount? Nuh-uh."
The amateur economist--extremely amateur, mind you--in me says that if America were run in a socialist economy, there wouldn't be any $20.4 billion dollar deals for NFL games. The contracts are paid for my giant media corporations operating in an environment geared towards producing as much wealth as possible. If they were in an environment where the goal was managing the wealth instead of producing gobs and gobs of it, big market NFL owners might feel differently about sharing with the little guys.
Punishing Success? Rewarding Failure?
As Maher mentioned, the team with the worst record gets the first pick in the NFL draft. He says Republicans would call this "punishing success." He may not know it, but there have been people who suggest that the Super Bowl winner should indeed get the first pick. This is supposed to provide "incentive" to the losing teams to do better and taking winning more seriously. Sometimes losing teams are criticized for not trying hard enough to run a winning organization while still taking the money generated by those who do. I'm fine with the draft the way it is.
Having said that, you can probably count on one hand the number of teams that actually think having the first pick in the draft is worth the money you have to pay him. No draft pick is a sure thing, and if you miss, you have missed BIG. Screwing up the first pick can be more damaging to your franchise than the benefit you would get if he actually panned out. If that's the case, maybe the Super Bowl winner should be forced to pay a 22-year old $10 million a year...I kid.
Somebody has to lose, and sometimes you're just terrible
Speaking of picking first, did you know that somebody does it every year? Why? Because every year somebody finishes last. All the revenue sharing in the world can't change that. Somebody has to lose, and somebody has to finish last.
From 1991-2004 the Cincinnati Bengals never finished better than 8-8. They finished 3-13 three times and 2-14 once. How often did the Bengals have a chance that's supposed to come with revenue sharing? For the first 20 years of their existence my beloved Saints never had a winning record at all. Equal TV money wasn't much of a help in the standing. Sometimes you're just terrible.
Football is not life. Life is not football.
This is not an economic lesson for America, at least not in the way Maher implies. It's the enormous amount of money provided by the TV networks that makes it possible. Not everybody starts out with large amounts of cash in the bank. Not everybody is willing to share. Not everybody's business is the most popular gig in town. The NFL has all sorts of advantages that make its "socialist" model possible, almost none of which translate to real life America. In effect the NFL's model is made possible by the capitalist model that provides the money to fund it. I'm sure there are a lot of really good arguments for socialist government, but this isn't one of them.
-------------------------------------------
A couple of notes:
When speaking of the number of people who go to church on Christmas Day in comparison to the number of people who watch the Super Bowl, Maher said, "Suck on that, Jesus!" He finds it ironic that Republicans preach capitalism while loving a socialist-run sport. I find it interesting that he would spend six minutes supporting the rich giving to the poor, while at the same time taunting a man who advocated just that. I suspect that his ire is directed more at hypocritical Christians than at Christ Himself, but that's just a guess.
He speaks of the Republican economic model as being "every man for himself." I think this is generally true in an "eat what you kill" sort of way, though I'd bet that an extremely small percentage of Republicans would advocate a 100% unrestrained capitalist system. Just about every one of them would agree that a certain amount of regulation is needed to keep things under control. What bothers me more, however, is that Maher conflates economic policy with social policy. I know of no policy that preaches "every man for himself" as a social policy, where we should just walk by someone dying in the street. I know this happens, of course, but as a result of people not following the social policy--often based on religious beliefs--they have espoused to others.
-------------------------------------------
It's been a while since I've written anything like this, and I'm sure there's a good bit wrong with it. Please let me know.
Maher gives his argument very well. He should. He's on TV quite a bit, and he was a standup comedian for about 30 years. If that's not good training for expressing yourself and using words to good effect, then nothing is. Having said that, I'm a little surprised that he left out what I think are relevant factors in the NFL's success as a professional sport, as well as a pretty obvious trait of human nature (at least human nature as it exists among wealthy NFL owners).
To make sure I'm not misquoting or taking him out of context, the whole thing can be seen here on youtube; here are some of points:
- The NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives it to the poorer ones.
- 100 million Americans watch Super Bowl, 40 million more than go to church on Christmas, 85 million more than watched the last game of the World Series.
- this is "an economic lesson for America”
- “football is built on an economic model of fairness and opportunity”
- “baseball is built on a model where the rich always win, and the poor usually have no chance”
- World Series: “You have to be a rich bitch just to play”
- Super Bowl: “Anyone can get in”
- “Football is more like the democratic philosophy”
- “The NFL literally shares the wealth. TV is their biggest source of revenue, and they put it all in a big commie pot and split it 32 ways. Because they don’t want anyone to fall too far behind. That’s why the team that wins the Super Bowl, in the next draft, picks last. Or what the Republicans would call ‘punishing success’”
- Baseball is exactly like the Republicans. Their economic theory is ‘every man for himself’”. Steelers vs. Pirates comparison. Pirates $40m. Yankees $206m.
- “If you’re not in the game, you become indifferent to the fate of the game.” That’s what’s happening to the middle class in America.
- Football, a sport that succeeds because it redistributes the wealth.
Sharing/Redistributing
Numbers 1 and 9 aren't exactly the same thing. It's one thing if nobody has the money to begin with, and the money is distributed evenly among the participants. It's another thing if somebody has the money, and someone else comes along to take it away and give it to someone else. The NFL's TV money goes to each of the 32 teams in equal amounts right from the start. It's not like the Cowboys and Redskins have all the money and Roger Goodell plays Robin Hood, taking it from them to give to the lowly Packers and Steelers.
TV Ratings
Any comparison of television ratings is extremely misguided. Not because I don't believe them, but because of the nature of the sports themselves. Baseball is the greatest sport to watch in person, and people did so about 73 million times this past season. There is no such thing as a bad seat in a baseball park. Football is the perfect sport for television. It's got the right amount of time between plays, stats, graphics, timeouts, and bathroom opportunities at halftime. You would also have to have your head in the sand if you didn't think that the violence of the game had something to do with why people tune in to watch. Baseball is a skills game. Football is an athletic, impact game. The latter appeals to more people right now.
They don't share everything
Maher doesn't mention that it's only the TV money that gets shared equally. The gate is a 60-40 home team/away team split. None of the merchandising revenue is shared. None of the local licensing revenue is shared. None of the parking is shared. None of the box seats revenue is shared. None of the bajillion (technical term) other methods NFL teams use to increase revenue gets shared. And in this case, the big markets have a big advantage. They can use the extra money--they can do this, it doesn't mean they will do it--on salaries for their front office people, their coaches, their facilities, their scouts, and a lot of other off-the-field factors that go into having a successful franchise.
Salary Cap
This leads me to the salary cap, which is another element he left out of his argument. Every team is limited in how much they can spend on player salaries. (Of course "limited" is a relative term, since the 2009 salary cap was about $123 million). If there was revenue sharing with no salary cap, the big market teams might still be able to outspend the rest of the league and assemble teams of star player after star player after star player.
(NOTE: Even if Major League Baseball tried to implement a salary cap, I wonder if the player's union would allow it. In 2010 baseball had an average salary of $3,340133, about one million dollars more than the highest-average salary NFL team. Baseball players like being paid millions and millions of dollars a year)
You gotta be rich
Concerning #'s 6 and 7: are they true? Kind of. One of the biggest gripes about baseball is that the Yankees and Red Sox outspend everybody else and sign all the mega-free agents. Indeed, you have to go back to 1998 to find a year when the Yankees didn't lead the league in payroll. However, the idea that you must be one of the wealthiest franchises in order to make it to the World Series is off the mark. From 2000-2010, fifteen NFL franchises made the Super Bowl. The World Series? Fifteen. The average payroll position of the participants was 11th, and that includes teams that were 29th, 27th, 25th and 25th. The number of Super Bowl winners in that span is eight. World Series winners? Nine.
In general you have to be at least kind of wealthy -- top third or so -- to make it to the World Series, but it's not any sort of predictive measure.
It's A LOT of money and Human nature
One of the main reasons I think big market teams were willing to split TV money in the first place is that -- hello -- it's A LOT of stinking money. The current value of TV contracts is $20.4 billion dollars. This year Fox paid $712.5 million, NBC $650 million, CBS $622.5 million, and ESPN $1.1 billion for their respective rights. That's just over $3 billion to split among 32 teams, which comes out to over $96 million just for showing up. That's a pretty nice deal.
This is where I think the human nature part of it comes into play. It's easy to say, "Yes, let's all share" when there's a lot to go around. What if there wasn't as much money? 75% as much. 50% as much. 40% as much. I don't know exactly what the number would be, but at a certain point the big market teams would look around and say, "That's about enough of this. My team is responsible for five teams as much TV viewership as this other guy, and he still gets the same amount? Nuh-uh."
The amateur economist--extremely amateur, mind you--in me says that if America were run in a socialist economy, there wouldn't be any $20.4 billion dollar deals for NFL games. The contracts are paid for my giant media corporations operating in an environment geared towards producing as much wealth as possible. If they were in an environment where the goal was managing the wealth instead of producing gobs and gobs of it, big market NFL owners might feel differently about sharing with the little guys.
Punishing Success? Rewarding Failure?
As Maher mentioned, the team with the worst record gets the first pick in the NFL draft. He says Republicans would call this "punishing success." He may not know it, but there have been people who suggest that the Super Bowl winner should indeed get the first pick. This is supposed to provide "incentive" to the losing teams to do better and taking winning more seriously. Sometimes losing teams are criticized for not trying hard enough to run a winning organization while still taking the money generated by those who do. I'm fine with the draft the way it is.
Having said that, you can probably count on one hand the number of teams that actually think having the first pick in the draft is worth the money you have to pay him. No draft pick is a sure thing, and if you miss, you have missed BIG. Screwing up the first pick can be more damaging to your franchise than the benefit you would get if he actually panned out. If that's the case, maybe the Super Bowl winner should be forced to pay a 22-year old $10 million a year...I kid.
Somebody has to lose, and sometimes you're just terrible
Speaking of picking first, did you know that somebody does it every year? Why? Because every year somebody finishes last. All the revenue sharing in the world can't change that. Somebody has to lose, and somebody has to finish last.
From 1991-2004 the Cincinnati Bengals never finished better than 8-8. They finished 3-13 three times and 2-14 once. How often did the Bengals have a chance that's supposed to come with revenue sharing? For the first 20 years of their existence my beloved Saints never had a winning record at all. Equal TV money wasn't much of a help in the standing. Sometimes you're just terrible.
Football is not life. Life is not football.
This is not an economic lesson for America, at least not in the way Maher implies. It's the enormous amount of money provided by the TV networks that makes it possible. Not everybody starts out with large amounts of cash in the bank. Not everybody is willing to share. Not everybody's business is the most popular gig in town. The NFL has all sorts of advantages that make its "socialist" model possible, almost none of which translate to real life America. In effect the NFL's model is made possible by the capitalist model that provides the money to fund it. I'm sure there are a lot of really good arguments for socialist government, but this isn't one of them.
-------------------------------------------
A couple of notes:
When speaking of the number of people who go to church on Christmas Day in comparison to the number of people who watch the Super Bowl, Maher said, "Suck on that, Jesus!" He finds it ironic that Republicans preach capitalism while loving a socialist-run sport. I find it interesting that he would spend six minutes supporting the rich giving to the poor, while at the same time taunting a man who advocated just that. I suspect that his ire is directed more at hypocritical Christians than at Christ Himself, but that's just a guess.
He speaks of the Republican economic model as being "every man for himself." I think this is generally true in an "eat what you kill" sort of way, though I'd bet that an extremely small percentage of Republicans would advocate a 100% unrestrained capitalist system. Just about every one of them would agree that a certain amount of regulation is needed to keep things under control. What bothers me more, however, is that Maher conflates economic policy with social policy. I know of no policy that preaches "every man for himself" as a social policy, where we should just walk by someone dying in the street. I know this happens, of course, but as a result of people not following the social policy--often based on religious beliefs--they have espoused to others.
-------------------------------------------
It's been a while since I've written anything like this, and I'm sure there's a good bit wrong with it. Please let me know.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
2011
I hope you like posts that are essentially a series of random thoughts. You do? Excellent.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hope there's nobody out there playing a drinking game where you do a shot every time people stand up and clap during the State of the Union address. They're gonna be D-E-D dead.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The 7-9 Seattle Seahawks hosted an NFL playoff game against a team with an 11-5 record. Remind me how terrible the BCS is again?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am connected to a TV show on MTV by a white maraca with a blue Star of David on it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Earlier in January I was a moderator for a local high school quiz bowl tournament, which is one of my absolute favorite things to do. If I could make a living reading quiz bowl, I'd very likely give it a shot. Before one game, the two teams were seated in their respective seats. A player from one team, seated on the end closest to the other team, looked at them and said,
"Hey, you know that trick where you make it look like you're moving your thumb?"
The kids replied that they did.
"Well I can make my whole thumb move and it looks like I don't have a thumb at all."
He proceeded to perform the motions of the trick and sure enough, when his other hand moved away it looked like he had no thumb at all. I figured, "Wow, his fingers must be really flexible for him to bend his whole thumb behind his hand like that."
Then he turned his hand towards his audience, showing them that he had no thumb on that hand at all.
After a couple of "am I really seeing this?" beats, the other team went nuts. "That's so awesome!" Because to high school quiz bowl kids, having four fingers and showing it off is awesome.
The kid said he's done that while giving talks in front of audiences in the thousands. I thought it was pretty cool myself. (not to mention that it could be a great way to psyche out your opponent before a big game)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I haven't posted much about movies lately, and there are two reasons for this. The first is that I haven't been to any in several weeks. I think the last one I saw in the theater was Skyline, which was pretty bad, though it had its bright spots. The second is that I haven't even finished some of the movies I've received from Netflix. I get a bit into them, then get bored, or start thinking it's not worth finishing, or something like that. I won't bother writing about them.
Why else don't I finish? I seem to run into all sorts of other things along the way. Crops in Farmville need harvesting. Skins is about to come on. I need to go to the gym. (lost about ten pounds since Christmas, by the way). Right now I'm watching a French film called Le Samourai, and I paused it to check that I remembered how to conjugate -re verbs correctly.
(Le Samourai comes to us from 1967, the same year that gave us The Dirty Dozen, Cool Hand Luke, The Graduate, Bonnie and Clyde*, In the Heat of the Night, and Guess Who's Coming to Dinner. Good night, what a year for Sidney Poitier...)
(* When I was in high school we had a quiz bowl question that every member of my team will swear up and down asked for "the Latin names of Bonnie and Clyde." We had no idea that they had Latin names. I said to the team captain, "Say Bonnus and Clydus." "I am NOT saying Bonnus and Clydus!" he said. "That sounds stupid!"
Turns out the question wanted the last names of Bonnie [Parker] and Clyde [Barrow]. Could have fooled us.)
The endings for regular -re verbs, by the way, using perdre--"to lose": perds, perds, perd, perdons, perdez, perdent.
See? I'm never finishing this movie...
Stay tuned until next time, when I tell you all about the wonders of Williams Grave Cleaning, L.L.C.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hope there's nobody out there playing a drinking game where you do a shot every time people stand up and clap during the State of the Union address. They're gonna be D-E-D dead.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The 7-9 Seattle Seahawks hosted an NFL playoff game against a team with an 11-5 record. Remind me how terrible the BCS is again?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am connected to a TV show on MTV by a white maraca with a blue Star of David on it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Earlier in January I was a moderator for a local high school quiz bowl tournament, which is one of my absolute favorite things to do. If I could make a living reading quiz bowl, I'd very likely give it a shot. Before one game, the two teams were seated in their respective seats. A player from one team, seated on the end closest to the other team, looked at them and said,
"Hey, you know that trick where you make it look like you're moving your thumb?"
The kids replied that they did.
"Well I can make my whole thumb move and it looks like I don't have a thumb at all."
He proceeded to perform the motions of the trick and sure enough, when his other hand moved away it looked like he had no thumb at all. I figured, "Wow, his fingers must be really flexible for him to bend his whole thumb behind his hand like that."
Then he turned his hand towards his audience, showing them that he had no thumb on that hand at all.
After a couple of "am I really seeing this?" beats, the other team went nuts. "That's so awesome!" Because to high school quiz bowl kids, having four fingers and showing it off is awesome.
The kid said he's done that while giving talks in front of audiences in the thousands. I thought it was pretty cool myself. (not to mention that it could be a great way to psyche out your opponent before a big game)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I haven't posted much about movies lately, and there are two reasons for this. The first is that I haven't been to any in several weeks. I think the last one I saw in the theater was Skyline, which was pretty bad, though it had its bright spots. The second is that I haven't even finished some of the movies I've received from Netflix. I get a bit into them, then get bored, or start thinking it's not worth finishing, or something like that. I won't bother writing about them.
Why else don't I finish? I seem to run into all sorts of other things along the way. Crops in Farmville need harvesting. Skins is about to come on. I need to go to the gym. (lost about ten pounds since Christmas, by the way). Right now I'm watching a French film called Le Samourai, and I paused it to check that I remembered how to conjugate -re verbs correctly.
(Le Samourai comes to us from 1967, the same year that gave us The Dirty Dozen, Cool Hand Luke, The Graduate, Bonnie and Clyde*, In the Heat of the Night, and Guess Who's Coming to Dinner. Good night, what a year for Sidney Poitier...)
(* When I was in high school we had a quiz bowl question that every member of my team will swear up and down asked for "the Latin names of Bonnie and Clyde." We had no idea that they had Latin names. I said to the team captain, "Say Bonnus and Clydus." "I am NOT saying Bonnus and Clydus!" he said. "That sounds stupid!"
Turns out the question wanted the last names of Bonnie [Parker] and Clyde [Barrow]. Could have fooled us.)
The endings for regular -re verbs, by the way, using perdre--"to lose": perds, perds, perd, perdons, perdez, perdent.
See? I'm never finishing this movie...
Stay tuned until next time, when I tell you all about the wonders of Williams Grave Cleaning, L.L.C.
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