I had the extreme pleasure of dining at Acadiana, a relatively new restaurant on New York Avenue. I'd been looking forward to it, since I'd read a pretty good review of it in the Washington Post, and I'd seen the menu online. Chicken and sausage gumbo. TURTLE SOUP (I'm a big fan). Duo of "pies". Roast beef po-boy. Shrimp po-boy. Tilapia. Chicken and sausage jambalaya. Fried catfish. Crawfish etouffee. Roasted duck. Grilled gulf redfish. Barbeque shrimp. Red snapper. Sides of mashed potatoes, dirty rice, jambalaya risotto, and cheese grits.
I was going to have dinner with my cousin and her friend at 7 or 7:30.
Unexpected turn of events in The Apartment, by the way.
I arrive at about quarter till, and ask the guy at the front desk how long the wait is for the next available table, expecting to hear 20-30 minutes. "We can't seat anyone until about ten o'clock," he says. "So the wait is about three hours." Yowza! That's what happens when you get reviewed in the Post, I guess. Plus, it was a nice Saturday night in the city, the DC Auto Show was just getting out, and the Wizards had a game at the MCI Center nearby. Lots and lots of folks out and about.
So we went to a movie first and then went back at ten to eat. We saw Glory Road, the story of the 1966 Texas Western team that started five black players against all-white Kentucky. I won't say too much about it, but here's what I liked: Adolph Rupp is technically a bad guy for movie purposes. And maybe he was a bad guy in real life, since he didn't recruit black players until he lost the game to Texas Western (now UTEP). But there are three or four scenes during game timeouts where they go into the KY huddle and show him actually doing a good job coaching. Credit to the filmmakers for that. At the time he retired, Rupp had won more college basketball games than any other person who had ever set foot on the planet. So racist or not, he was no dummy. Something I didn't particularly like comes from something I heard on the radio. Apparently, people were not waving Confederate flags around at Cole Field House during the game. I also doubt that a black TW player crashed into a horrified Rupp, but I don't know if that's true or not. The story of Texas Western is dramatic enough, and doesn't need factual embellishment to make it better. (however, the last time I attended a football game involving West Monroe High School, I saw dozens, if not hundreds of Confederate flags).
First came the biscuits with cream cheese and pepper jelly. Quite nice. I had the duo of pies: two crawfish pies, two Natchitoches meat pies. The crawfish pies were outstanding. The meat pies were a little dull. Not enough spice in them, sadly (though my cousin and I were impressed that the waiter pronounced Natchitoches correctly; alas, he messed up slightly on "Tchoupitoulas"). But there's room for improvement. They just need to resist the urge to tone it down for the DC area palate. Put some red pepper and black pepper in there, sweetheart. They're your friends. I also had the grilled gulf redfish, which came with jambalaya risotto, shrimp and crawfish. A very, very nice dish. My cousin's friend had the pies as her entree. My cousin wasn't hungry. I'm thinking about trying to go there a couple of times a month, because I really liked it all. And next time, I'm definitely getting the turtle soup. When my cousin and I were talking about it, her friend asked what was in it. I don't remember exactly what she said, so she'll be quoted with dots.
Turtles........Yes, really turtles........Yes, and they are gooooooood!.......Yes, like turtles in Finding Nemo. Righteouuuussssss!.......I thought she was going to cry for a second, she looked so horrified. But man, I love me some turtle soup.
Anyway, I recommend Acadiana to you. Acadiana, by the way, is a region in South Louisiana. There's an Acadia Parish. Acadiana High School is in Lafayette. The region is the heart of Cajun country. The Acadians were the ones exiled from Canada by the British who made their way down to Louisiana. The word "cajun" comes from the word "Acadians".
Monday, January 30, 2006
Sunday, January 29, 2006
A Place in the Sun
Before we begin, today must be Cosmic Music Man Day. I'm watching The Apartment right now, which has a sequence where Jack Lemmon gets tickets to the show, which happens to be my personal favorite and the only one I've ever seen on Broadway. Now I turn on Family Guy to see a complete rendition of "Shipoopi", the great number from the show performed by Buddy Hackett. Peter Griffin knows his musicals. Anyway.
I'm going to talk about A Place in the Sun, coming in at 92 on the AFI's list. I don't like divulging all the details of a movie when the people I'm talking to haven't seen it yet. But I'm going to do it in this case because it allows me to say some things I particularly want to get to. So if you don't want to know what happens, stop reading now.
It was made in 1951, the same year that brought us Abbott and Costello Meet the Invisible Man, The African Queen, and A Streetcar Named Desire. Montgomery Clift, Elizabeth Taylor, and Shelley Winters are the three principal characters, and that's some pretty good star power. Raymond Burr is also in a supporting role as the hard-charging prosecutor with a touch of the dramatic. Pretty much a 180 from playing Perry Mason. Clift plays George Eastman, a poor guy from the Midwest who makes his way to the big city to take a job with his uncle's company. We get a sense of his situation right away when the uncle informs his family that George is on the way. "But what are we to do about him socially?" his wife says. It's a great line that says a lot about how things were done in the place and time.
He meets Alice Tripp (Shelley Winters), who he's not supposed to date because she's a coworker. Does that stop him? Noooooo. And a few weeks later, there are--what's the word I'm looking for?--consequences. George has in the meantime fallen in love with Angela Vickers, played by Elizabeth Taylor. She's classier and prettier than Alice, and from a socially respectable (ahem: rich) family. Taylor was 17 when she played the role, which is really amazing. She looks fantastic. So George has a dilemma. He's got a shot at really hitting the big time: promotion at work, getting a great girl way above his social station, and putting his past life as a poor family missionary worker way behind him. Only Alice and her delicate condition stand in his way. And Alice, as it turns out isn't going anywhere.
She discovers George's deception of going on vacation with Angela, and not with his uncle as he said. So she goes to the resort town, gives him a ring, and demands her share of his attention, or she'll tell the world her story and ruin him. So they go on a romantic canoe trip out on the lake. This is where Clift gets really good, by the way. Nervousness and anguish and anticipation and fear and anxiety all over his face. Alice tries to blackmail him into loving her and being happy with her. Oh, Alice, Alice, Alice. Yes, he done you wrong, but this? You can blackmail for money, you can blackmail for for money, and you can blackmail for fame. But you can't blackmail for love.
The boat takes a tumble, and so do Alice and George. Alas, Alice can't swim. So Alice is out of the way, and George has a clear path to Angela. If only Raymond Burr hadn't come after him with the clear intention of sending him to the electric chair.
The movie is based on An American Tragedy, by Theodore Dreiser. Maybe you've heard of him. But the story isn't the distinctive part of the movie for me. The acting is very, very good. The big four actors are marvelous in their respective roles, and Clift is far and away the best of the lot. This is a wonderful movie, though I don't know if it's the kind of movie that anyone would go out of their way to watch. It's not a particularly happy one.
I'm going to talk about A Place in the Sun, coming in at 92 on the AFI's list. I don't like divulging all the details of a movie when the people I'm talking to haven't seen it yet. But I'm going to do it in this case because it allows me to say some things I particularly want to get to. So if you don't want to know what happens, stop reading now.
It was made in 1951, the same year that brought us Abbott and Costello Meet the Invisible Man, The African Queen, and A Streetcar Named Desire. Montgomery Clift, Elizabeth Taylor, and Shelley Winters are the three principal characters, and that's some pretty good star power. Raymond Burr is also in a supporting role as the hard-charging prosecutor with a touch of the dramatic. Pretty much a 180 from playing Perry Mason. Clift plays George Eastman, a poor guy from the Midwest who makes his way to the big city to take a job with his uncle's company. We get a sense of his situation right away when the uncle informs his family that George is on the way. "But what are we to do about him socially?" his wife says. It's a great line that says a lot about how things were done in the place and time.
He meets Alice Tripp (Shelley Winters), who he's not supposed to date because she's a coworker. Does that stop him? Noooooo. And a few weeks later, there are--what's the word I'm looking for?--consequences. George has in the meantime fallen in love with Angela Vickers, played by Elizabeth Taylor. She's classier and prettier than Alice, and from a socially respectable (ahem: rich) family. Taylor was 17 when she played the role, which is really amazing. She looks fantastic. So George has a dilemma. He's got a shot at really hitting the big time: promotion at work, getting a great girl way above his social station, and putting his past life as a poor family missionary worker way behind him. Only Alice and her delicate condition stand in his way. And Alice, as it turns out isn't going anywhere.
She discovers George's deception of going on vacation with Angela, and not with his uncle as he said. So she goes to the resort town, gives him a ring, and demands her share of his attention, or she'll tell the world her story and ruin him. So they go on a romantic canoe trip out on the lake. This is where Clift gets really good, by the way. Nervousness and anguish and anticipation and fear and anxiety all over his face. Alice tries to blackmail him into loving her and being happy with her. Oh, Alice, Alice, Alice. Yes, he done you wrong, but this? You can blackmail for money, you can blackmail for for money, and you can blackmail for fame. But you can't blackmail for love.
The boat takes a tumble, and so do Alice and George. Alas, Alice can't swim. So Alice is out of the way, and George has a clear path to Angela. If only Raymond Burr hadn't come after him with the clear intention of sending him to the electric chair.
The movie is based on An American Tragedy, by Theodore Dreiser. Maybe you've heard of him. But the story isn't the distinctive part of the movie for me. The acting is very, very good. The big four actors are marvelous in their respective roles, and Clift is far and away the best of the lot. This is a wonderful movie, though I don't know if it's the kind of movie that anyone would go out of their way to watch. It's not a particularly happy one.
Friday, January 27, 2006
Aussie Open
Justine Henin-Hardenne answered my question by beating Maria Sharapova and advancing to the finals against Amelie Mauresmo. Mauresmo also hits it hard, and has been a very good player the last few years. She just hasn't made the jump to the level of Grand Slam champion. But she's pounding JHH in the first set right now, up 4-0. JHH is hitting a lot of balls into the net. It's refreshing to watch a match where the players don't grunt or scream or yell or do whatever it is that Monica Seles did all the time. It sounded like "onh-EEEE!" every time she struck the ball. However, there are birds inside Rod Laver Arena, and their constant chirping is a bit annoying.
I'm not terribly worried that JHH is getting pounded right now, since she lost the first set in the two previous matches as well. I went to camp with a guy who we played chess against. You'd play him once and beat him. Then you'd never beat him again. That's what JHH has been like lately.
On the men's side, Roger Federer is up against Marcos Baghdatis in the final. Federer is a quiet Swiss player who has tennis watchers saying that he's the best player the game has ever seen. Among those proclaiming such is Rod Laver, a man with legitimate claim to the title himself. If he's better than Sampras, then I need to watch more tennis. But from what they say, Federer is the real deal. Baghdatis has been getting more press for three main reasons: 1) Federer winning is a "dog bites man" story. It's such a regular occurrence, it's become old news. 2) Baghdatis is an unseeded player making it all the way to the finals. (Mauresmo is now up 5-1 in the first, by the way) and 3) After Baghdatis beat top-seeded Andy Roddick, someone asked if he would hang around for the next match to see who he would play in the next round. He said something to the effect of "I think my coach will stay and watch. I'm going to go sleep with my girlfriend." For the next two rounds, they showed the girl on TV every 30 seconds. She's a nice-looking girl. Mauresmo wins the first 6-1.
I'm not terribly worried that JHH is getting pounded right now, since she lost the first set in the two previous matches as well. I went to camp with a guy who we played chess against. You'd play him once and beat him. Then you'd never beat him again. That's what JHH has been like lately.
On the men's side, Roger Federer is up against Marcos Baghdatis in the final. Federer is a quiet Swiss player who has tennis watchers saying that he's the best player the game has ever seen. Among those proclaiming such is Rod Laver, a man with legitimate claim to the title himself. If he's better than Sampras, then I need to watch more tennis. But from what they say, Federer is the real deal. Baghdatis has been getting more press for three main reasons: 1) Federer winning is a "dog bites man" story. It's such a regular occurrence, it's become old news. 2) Baghdatis is an unseeded player making it all the way to the finals. (Mauresmo is now up 5-1 in the first, by the way) and 3) After Baghdatis beat top-seeded Andy Roddick, someone asked if he would hang around for the next match to see who he would play in the next round. He said something to the effect of "I think my coach will stay and watch. I'm going to go sleep with my girlfriend." For the next two rounds, they showed the girl on TV every 30 seconds. She's a nice-looking girl. Mauresmo wins the first 6-1.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
American Idol
As I have said before, nothing makes me laugh like "American Idol". This past Tuesday was the best night of the first two weeks' worth.
Wow, Montgomery Clift is totally snapping right now in A Place in the Sun. Shelley Winters is really getting on his nerves.
And heaven knows I like a good Catholic who has their favorite saint that they like to call on when times get rough (I don't particularly have one myself, though I do keep a medal of Saint Benedict that a friend gave me in college). But Wednesday night they had on a guy who bothered me with something he said. He told the story of his mother, who for a long time couldn't have children. She prayed to a saint and finally had the contestant in question. So said saint became the son's favorite saint. He prayed to the saint and said that if the saint granted his wish and he got passed through on "American Idol", he would never ask for anything again.
My problem isn't in asking a saint for something. But he talked about the saint "granting wishes". Saints do not grant wishes. They're not genies, for crying out loud. Saint Sebastian didn't get shot full of arrows, survive, and then get beaten to death on the Emperor's orders in order to pass on to a new life appearing to losers rubbing on mysterious lamps. You can't catch him running around and make him lead you to a pot of gold. Saints do not grant wishes. We do not worship statues of saints. We ask saints to intercede with God on our behalf, not to grant wishes.
On a somewhat related note, the Church has a sort of morbid habit of taking a martyred saint's manner of death and making them the patron saint of said manner. Saint Sebastian was shot full of arrows. He is now the patron saint of archers, arrowsmiths, and fletchers (and, somewhat strangely, enemies of religion). Saint Adrian of Nicodemia was hacked to death and burned. He is now the patron saint of butchers. I suppose it's too much to hope for that I'll end up as the patron saint of chocolate-eating, college football-watching nymphomaniacs.
Back to AI. The blonde girl on Tuesday was great. Kellie Pickler. Cute, adorable, and she can sing. Tragic story of mom leaving when young, followed up by dad being in jail for drugs, being a waitress on rollerskates, and living with her grandfather. When she got through, she said she was going to write her dad and let him know, which made it all even more tragic. Endearing, but sad. The immediate thought when hearing that her dad is in jail is that he's a loser and she should have nothing to do with him. But she's a good daughter, and she wants her daddy to be part of her life. And the two people we saw later labeled as her "best friends" looked like they were at least 20 years older than her. They looked old enough to be her parents. I thought "Those are her best friends? How is this possible? Nobody her own age is her friend?" I hope for good things to happen to Kellie Pickler. She's got that great southern accent that seems rampant in North Carolina. I need to get over there one day.
Also impressing Tuesday was Paris Bennett, the granddaughter of Anne Nesby. She was really fantastic. She sang a Dixie Chicks song and was really good. Then she sang a Billie Holliday song and was stunningly amazing. She can sing like nobody's business. And then when she goes back to talking, she's got this little quiet voice. It's a remarkable contrast from one to the other.
The girl whose mother is a voice teacher ain't no slouch, either.
Wow, Montgomery Clift is totally snapping right now in A Place in the Sun. Shelley Winters is really getting on his nerves.
And heaven knows I like a good Catholic who has their favorite saint that they like to call on when times get rough (I don't particularly have one myself, though I do keep a medal of Saint Benedict that a friend gave me in college). But Wednesday night they had on a guy who bothered me with something he said. He told the story of his mother, who for a long time couldn't have children. She prayed to a saint and finally had the contestant in question. So said saint became the son's favorite saint. He prayed to the saint and said that if the saint granted his wish and he got passed through on "American Idol", he would never ask for anything again.
My problem isn't in asking a saint for something. But he talked about the saint "granting wishes". Saints do not grant wishes. They're not genies, for crying out loud. Saint Sebastian didn't get shot full of arrows, survive, and then get beaten to death on the Emperor's orders in order to pass on to a new life appearing to losers rubbing on mysterious lamps. You can't catch him running around and make him lead you to a pot of gold. Saints do not grant wishes. We do not worship statues of saints. We ask saints to intercede with God on our behalf, not to grant wishes.
On a somewhat related note, the Church has a sort of morbid habit of taking a martyred saint's manner of death and making them the patron saint of said manner. Saint Sebastian was shot full of arrows. He is now the patron saint of archers, arrowsmiths, and fletchers (and, somewhat strangely, enemies of religion). Saint Adrian of Nicodemia was hacked to death and burned. He is now the patron saint of butchers. I suppose it's too much to hope for that I'll end up as the patron saint of chocolate-eating, college football-watching nymphomaniacs.
Back to AI. The blonde girl on Tuesday was great. Kellie Pickler. Cute, adorable, and she can sing. Tragic story of mom leaving when young, followed up by dad being in jail for drugs, being a waitress on rollerskates, and living with her grandfather. When she got through, she said she was going to write her dad and let him know, which made it all even more tragic. Endearing, but sad. The immediate thought when hearing that her dad is in jail is that he's a loser and she should have nothing to do with him. But she's a good daughter, and she wants her daddy to be part of her life. And the two people we saw later labeled as her "best friends" looked like they were at least 20 years older than her. They looked old enough to be her parents. I thought "Those are her best friends? How is this possible? Nobody her own age is her friend?" I hope for good things to happen to Kellie Pickler. She's got that great southern accent that seems rampant in North Carolina. I need to get over there one day.
Also impressing Tuesday was Paris Bennett, the granddaughter of Anne Nesby. She was really fantastic. She sang a Dixie Chicks song and was really good. Then she sang a Billie Holliday song and was stunningly amazing. She can sing like nobody's business. And then when she goes back to talking, she's got this little quiet voice. It's a remarkable contrast from one to the other.
The girl whose mother is a voice teacher ain't no slouch, either.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Magnificent Butcher
A nice kung fu movie starring Sammo Hung. There's a story, but that's not the important part.
Maria Sharapova just won a point on a running left-handed forehand lob deep from the baseline. She's right handed. Yo.
The "story" is just an excuse for a series of very entertaining kung fu battles. Magnificent Butcher was made in 1979, a year after the original Drunken Master with Jackie Chan. Yuen Woo-Ping is the director/choreographer for both. The fighting is totally unrealistic, but that's hardly the point. It's rhythmic and fun, in and out, up and down. A few props get used to good effect. Two battles I enjoyed most didn't involve the main stars at all. One with "Monkey on a Stick" technique I thought was particularly good. Some of it influenced by Hung's time spent growing up in the Peking Opera. If you don't know who he is, he's the fat Chinese guy from "Martial Law".
Some of the fights involve techniques and styles that border on the ridiculous. While it's still fun to watch, there's also the voice in the back of your head that wants to yell at the guys, "Hey, quit playing patty-cake and hit the guy! He's right in front of you! Don't worry about that fancy stuff and punch him in the face!" And in case you're ever involved in a scuffle, don't try any of this stuff. Eventually you realize that the only way all of this works is if each fighter knows what's coming all the time. And you know what? They do. That's why it's called fight choreography. I'd love to try "Monkey on a Stick" style against some bruiser, but while I'm hopping around on one leg, he's going to put one fist through my teeth and another through my spleen.
Maria Sharapova just won a point on a running left-handed forehand lob deep from the baseline. She's right handed. Yo.
The "story" is just an excuse for a series of very entertaining kung fu battles. Magnificent Butcher was made in 1979, a year after the original Drunken Master with Jackie Chan. Yuen Woo-Ping is the director/choreographer for both. The fighting is totally unrealistic, but that's hardly the point. It's rhythmic and fun, in and out, up and down. A few props get used to good effect. Two battles I enjoyed most didn't involve the main stars at all. One with "Monkey on a Stick" technique I thought was particularly good. Some of it influenced by Hung's time spent growing up in the Peking Opera. If you don't know who he is, he's the fat Chinese guy from "Martial Law".
Some of the fights involve techniques and styles that border on the ridiculous. While it's still fun to watch, there's also the voice in the back of your head that wants to yell at the guys, "Hey, quit playing patty-cake and hit the guy! He's right in front of you! Don't worry about that fancy stuff and punch him in the face!" And in case you're ever involved in a scuffle, don't try any of this stuff. Eventually you realize that the only way all of this works is if each fighter knows what's coming all the time. And you know what? They do. That's why it's called fight choreography. I'd love to try "Monkey on a Stick" style against some bruiser, but while I'm hopping around on one leg, he's going to put one fist through my teeth and another through my spleen.
King Kong, the Original
I could talk about Shadow of a Doubt for a while, but the DVD was screwy and I didn't get to finish. But it looked good from what I got to see. Big fan of Joseph Cotten. Teresa Wright is great on screen as well. So on to the original Great Ape, whose tale comes in at 43 on the AFI list.
Fay Wray is the damsel in distress, and what a great name: Fay Wray. Besides being about 90 minutes shorter, there are some other differences between the original and most recent, many of them related to special effects. In the original the love interest Jack Driscoll is a member of the ship's crew, not the writer of the script. No additional actor to co-star with Ann Darrow. The newer one adds a lot more beasties and uglies. More dinosaurs. More creepy-crawlies. More slimy, slithering nightmares. And good for Peter Jackson. You've got the technology, this is what you do. Go for it. There's no mentor-pupil duo between crew members in the original, either.
There's a truckload of action and violence in the new one, but I was actually surprised at how much there was in the original. Kong fights a T-Rexish dinosaur, a giant snake, a pterosaur-like flying thing, and chews up villagers, crew members, and New Yorkers. They spent a good deal of time on this sort of thing. It all looks like stop-motion/claymation stuff to me, but I could be wrong. But for 1933, it seems like it must've been really incredible. (1933 also gave us A Farewell to Arms, Litte Women, and The Private Life of Henry VIII. None of which I've seen. But I did read Farewell to Arms and Little Women) I can't think of a particular reason to watch it, unless you're just curious.
Maria Sharapova is playing Justine Henin-Hardenne right now. A banger versus a crafter. JHH's skill and technique versus MS's grunting power. And JHH can bring it when she has to from a power standpoint, as well. What a fantastic-looking backhand she's got. Will her quickness and technique prevail over Sharapova's hammer style? Stay tuned.
Fay Wray is the damsel in distress, and what a great name: Fay Wray. Besides being about 90 minutes shorter, there are some other differences between the original and most recent, many of them related to special effects. In the original the love interest Jack Driscoll is a member of the ship's crew, not the writer of the script. No additional actor to co-star with Ann Darrow. The newer one adds a lot more beasties and uglies. More dinosaurs. More creepy-crawlies. More slimy, slithering nightmares. And good for Peter Jackson. You've got the technology, this is what you do. Go for it. There's no mentor-pupil duo between crew members in the original, either.
There's a truckload of action and violence in the new one, but I was actually surprised at how much there was in the original. Kong fights a T-Rexish dinosaur, a giant snake, a pterosaur-like flying thing, and chews up villagers, crew members, and New Yorkers. They spent a good deal of time on this sort of thing. It all looks like stop-motion/claymation stuff to me, but I could be wrong. But for 1933, it seems like it must've been really incredible. (1933 also gave us A Farewell to Arms, Litte Women, and The Private Life of Henry VIII. None of which I've seen. But I did read Farewell to Arms and Little Women) I can't think of a particular reason to watch it, unless you're just curious.
Maria Sharapova is playing Justine Henin-Hardenne right now. A banger versus a crafter. JHH's skill and technique versus MS's grunting power. And JHH can bring it when she has to from a power standpoint, as well. What a fantastic-looking backhand she's got. Will her quickness and technique prevail over Sharapova's hammer style? Stay tuned.
Cool Hand Luke
Another movie not on the AFI list, Cool Hand Luke comes to us from 1967, the same year that gave us such memorable films as The Flim-Flam Man, Nuts of the Round Table, and Le Viol du Vampire. I don't remember any of them, and as far as I know neither does anyone else.
(the sister of the girl from Hitchhiker's Guide and the guy from Angel have really good chemistry on Bones, by the way. At least from the first five minutes I've watched)
Here's who you've heard of: Paul Newman, George Kennedy, Dennis Hopper. Again, Hopper makes an unexpected appearance in a non-starring role, this time as the wonderfully-named Babalugats. Rebel Without a Cause, Giant, and The Sons of Katie Elder are some others before CHL, and Hang 'Em High, Easy Rider, and True Grit come after.
Actor you haven't heard of but may recognize: Strother Martin. Martin is the speaker of the famous line, "What we have here, is a failure to communicate."
Really enjoyable movie, with one or two depressing moments. Newman is great, as Newman often is. George Kennedy is very good. Hard to believe that the guy I first saw in Naked Gun is a major part of a great movie. The most famous scene is Luke making the bet that he can eat fifty hard-boiled eggs in an hour. And there's a nice running element of the prisoners always asking the guards for permission with the phrase "INSERT ACTION here, boss", and getting "INSERT ACTION there, PRISONER'S NAME".
Want to take off your shirt?
"Takin' it off here, boss!"
"Takin' it off there, Luke."
Wipe your forehead?
"Wipin' it off here, boss!"
"Wipin' it off there, Luke."
Do three somersaults, a roundoff and stick the landing?
"Gymnastickin' it up here, boss!"
"Gymnastickin' it up there, Luke."
A little over two hours and worth the time.
(the sister of the girl from Hitchhiker's Guide and the guy from Angel have really good chemistry on Bones, by the way. At least from the first five minutes I've watched)
Here's who you've heard of: Paul Newman, George Kennedy, Dennis Hopper. Again, Hopper makes an unexpected appearance in a non-starring role, this time as the wonderfully-named Babalugats. Rebel Without a Cause, Giant, and The Sons of Katie Elder are some others before CHL, and Hang 'Em High, Easy Rider, and True Grit come after.
Actor you haven't heard of but may recognize: Strother Martin. Martin is the speaker of the famous line, "What we have here, is a failure to communicate."
Really enjoyable movie, with one or two depressing moments. Newman is great, as Newman often is. George Kennedy is very good. Hard to believe that the guy I first saw in Naked Gun is a major part of a great movie. The most famous scene is Luke making the bet that he can eat fifty hard-boiled eggs in an hour. And there's a nice running element of the prisoners always asking the guards for permission with the phrase "INSERT ACTION here, boss", and getting "INSERT ACTION there, PRISONER'S NAME".
Want to take off your shirt?
"Takin' it off here, boss!"
"Takin' it off there, Luke."
Wipe your forehead?
"Wipin' it off here, boss!"
"Wipin' it off there, Luke."
Do three somersaults, a roundoff and stick the landing?
"Gymnastickin' it up here, boss!"
"Gymnastickin' it up there, Luke."
A little over two hours and worth the time.
Friday, January 20, 2006
First the Funny, Then the Crazy
Here's the funny. I saw something about this briefly last week, but somehow didn't actually look at it. It's HI-larious, or at least it is to me. Enjoy.
Here's the crazy:
I get off the metro tonight and start walking home. I hear someone yelling. At first I thought it was somebody talking really, really, loud. But I turn around (while still walking the other way) and this girl is sitting on the ground in front of a payphone, yelling at the guy standing next to her. Really screaming at him. I thought he might have been doing something to provoke her, but from where I was he was just standing there. I couldn't hear if he was saying anything.
Then she stands up and SCREAMS something at him. Not regular screaming, but SCREAMING like she was putting all her heart and soul and guts into it, as if SCREAMING at him was the most important thing in the world, a matter of life and death. Not the really high-pitch kind that breaks glass, or the really loud kind that hurts your ears. But the kind that scares you and hurts your heart at the same time. Really letting him have it.
She took a swing at him and screamed some more. She messed around with the phone, leaving it swinging. She yelled some more and took another swing at him. I don't know the first thing about the guy. Maybe he bites the heads off puppies and throws children off of cliffs in his spare time. But I'll give him credit for this: the whole time I watched him, he didn't hit her back. Good for him.
Some more screaming, and then the girls drops her pants. More yelling, and then she tries to climb over the hedges. He goes and gets her and pulls her away. By this time I'm pretty much too far away to make out anything else. It was pretty darn interesting.
Oh, I'm sorry. I seem to have glossed over that last part. Let me type that again. The girl dropped her pants on the sidewalk, in front of God and everybody waiting for a ride home. It looked like she had on underwear (thank heavens, even though it has been unseasonably warm here), but it wasn't more than a g-string, because when she turned around it was a full moon from where I was standing. She stepped out of her pants and tried to climb over the bushes, which I've seen a couple people do there before. That must've been a pretty prickly situation. The last I saw, the guy had hold of her and was presumably trying to calm her down. I hope they made it home okay. On the way back to the apartment I kept expecting her to run past me with no britches on, screaming at the top of her lungs.
Here's the crazy:
I get off the metro tonight and start walking home. I hear someone yelling. At first I thought it was somebody talking really, really, loud. But I turn around (while still walking the other way) and this girl is sitting on the ground in front of a payphone, yelling at the guy standing next to her. Really screaming at him. I thought he might have been doing something to provoke her, but from where I was he was just standing there. I couldn't hear if he was saying anything.
Then she stands up and SCREAMS something at him. Not regular screaming, but SCREAMING like she was putting all her heart and soul and guts into it, as if SCREAMING at him was the most important thing in the world, a matter of life and death. Not the really high-pitch kind that breaks glass, or the really loud kind that hurts your ears. But the kind that scares you and hurts your heart at the same time. Really letting him have it.
She took a swing at him and screamed some more. She messed around with the phone, leaving it swinging. She yelled some more and took another swing at him. I don't know the first thing about the guy. Maybe he bites the heads off puppies and throws children off of cliffs in his spare time. But I'll give him credit for this: the whole time I watched him, he didn't hit her back. Good for him.
Some more screaming, and then the girls drops her pants. More yelling, and then she tries to climb over the hedges. He goes and gets her and pulls her away. By this time I'm pretty much too far away to make out anything else. It was pretty darn interesting.
Oh, I'm sorry. I seem to have glossed over that last part. Let me type that again. The girl dropped her pants on the sidewalk, in front of God and everybody waiting for a ride home. It looked like she had on underwear (thank heavens, even though it has been unseasonably warm here), but it wasn't more than a g-string, because when she turned around it was a full moon from where I was standing. She stepped out of her pants and tried to climb over the bushes, which I've seen a couple people do there before. That must've been a pretty prickly situation. The last I saw, the guy had hold of her and was presumably trying to calm her down. I hope they made it home okay. On the way back to the apartment I kept expecting her to run past me with no britches on, screaming at the top of her lungs.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Kristine Lilly
I actively cheer for five teams in major American sports: Chicago Cubs, New Orleans Saints, LSU Tigers, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, and Nebraska Cornhuskers (baseball, NFL, and college football). I like a few other teams, though it doesn't break my heart if they lose, like UNC basketball, the Colts, and whatever team Shaq is playing for.
So it surprises even me that when I sit down and really think about it, my favorite team of all is probably the United States Women's National Soccer Team. I LOVE this team and anybody who plays for it. Especially, of course, #1 on the Scotty Williams Big Board, ahead of Delia Gallagher, and ahead of Kronprinsessan Victoria of Sweden, the one they call Abby Wambach. I have spoken before on the guts and heart and passion and love that they play with, so I won't get into it here.
On Wednesday, January 18, Kristine Lilly will play in her 300th international match for the United States. The all-time leader on the men's side played in 173. Lilly made her debut in the same game as Mia Hamm, when she was 16 years old. Alas, Mia is retired and living the good life, and good for her. But Lilly carries on as the veteran leader of a team that will try to qualify for a major international competition for the first time without Mia Hamm, Brandi Chastain, or Julie Foudy.
I'm partial to her because she's left-footed. But her game is really superb. She is wonderful at taking on defenders with the ball at her feet. She gets down the sideline very quickly and can cross well. She can take the ball out of the air and put it on goal. But to me her best offensive skill is getting to the end line inside the box, drawing the defense, and sending the ball into the middle to an open teammate. She's murder in there. And like all American stars the past 15 years, she's a demon when she tracks back on defense to slow down an opposing run. A wonderful, wonderful player is Kristine Lilly.
So it surprises even me that when I sit down and really think about it, my favorite team of all is probably the United States Women's National Soccer Team. I LOVE this team and anybody who plays for it. Especially, of course, #1 on the Scotty Williams Big Board, ahead of Delia Gallagher, and ahead of Kronprinsessan Victoria of Sweden, the one they call Abby Wambach. I have spoken before on the guts and heart and passion and love that they play with, so I won't get into it here.
On Wednesday, January 18, Kristine Lilly will play in her 300th international match for the United States. The all-time leader on the men's side played in 173. Lilly made her debut in the same game as Mia Hamm, when she was 16 years old. Alas, Mia is retired and living the good life, and good for her. But Lilly carries on as the veteran leader of a team that will try to qualify for a major international competition for the first time without Mia Hamm, Brandi Chastain, or Julie Foudy.
I'm partial to her because she's left-footed. But her game is really superb. She is wonderful at taking on defenders with the ball at her feet. She gets down the sideline very quickly and can cross well. She can take the ball out of the air and put it on goal. But to me her best offensive skill is getting to the end line inside the box, drawing the defense, and sending the ball into the middle to an open teammate. She's murder in there. And like all American stars the past 15 years, she's a demon when she tracks back on defense to slow down an opposing run. A wonderful, wonderful player is Kristine Lilly.
Chocolate City
And no, I speak not of Hershey, PA, the sogennante "Sweetest Place on Earth", but of the remarks made by Ray Nagin earlier today, and the reaction that ensued.
(Before I go any further, anyone on American Idol who says that they are set apart by their "unique voice" is doomed from the beginning).
Here's the gist: He said that New Orleans is meant to be a "chocolate city", with a black majority, and that God wants it that way. White people are welcome, of course. He also mentioned God being angry at America because of the war in Iraq.
I find that last part dumb because I don't think God gets mad at countries, but I could be wrong. No prophet, I. (it's also a questionable strategy to rip the President who you're going to ask for money). But that's not the important part.
The best response from a New Orleans resident (the only people who matter in this instance, by the way), is this: "He used the wrong dairy product to describe us. We're more Neapolitan, not chocolate," Gerhold said. "It doesn't do the city any kind of justice."
Considering the creole influence on New Orleans, I think that's a pretty good analogy. New Orleans is 2/3 black, over 1/4 white, according to the census. The fallacy in the census numbers is that only 1.3 percent are listed as "more than one race". Bull-honkus. Like Neapolitan, it's a great mixture of lots of different stuff (granted, it's mostly variations of black and white stuff, but that's not the point). So when the mayor comes out and says what sounds like "This is a black city, and if the rich white people don't like it, then tough," it rubs people the wrong way.
Without defending the idea that certain cities are only for certain colors (I think we tried that before, and it didn't work out too well for lots of folks), here's the context I put behind the statements: More than a few white people have said (and a bit more thought) "Now that those trashy blacks have been washed away, we can remake this city in our own image, the way it was meant to be." Somebody I know told somebody else I know (that's about as vague as I can make it) that Houston could keep all the refugees they got, because they didn't want them in New Orleans anymore.
Now if I've heard and read this refrain a few times, then imagine how many times the mayor of New Orleans has heard it. So during a political speech on MLK day, he sorta lost it. I think he was tired of hearing stuff like that and spoke a repudiation against the theory that a whiter New Orleans is a better New Orleans. That's the best I can come up with.
(Before I go any further, anyone on American Idol who says that they are set apart by their "unique voice" is doomed from the beginning).
Here's the gist: He said that New Orleans is meant to be a "chocolate city", with a black majority, and that God wants it that way. White people are welcome, of course. He also mentioned God being angry at America because of the war in Iraq.
I find that last part dumb because I don't think God gets mad at countries, but I could be wrong. No prophet, I. (it's also a questionable strategy to rip the President who you're going to ask for money). But that's not the important part.
The best response from a New Orleans resident (the only people who matter in this instance, by the way), is this: "He used the wrong dairy product to describe us. We're more Neapolitan, not chocolate," Gerhold said. "It doesn't do the city any kind of justice."
Considering the creole influence on New Orleans, I think that's a pretty good analogy. New Orleans is 2/3 black, over 1/4 white, according to the census. The fallacy in the census numbers is that only 1.3 percent are listed as "more than one race". Bull-honkus. Like Neapolitan, it's a great mixture of lots of different stuff (granted, it's mostly variations of black and white stuff, but that's not the point). So when the mayor comes out and says what sounds like "This is a black city, and if the rich white people don't like it, then tough," it rubs people the wrong way.
Without defending the idea that certain cities are only for certain colors (I think we tried that before, and it didn't work out too well for lots of folks), here's the context I put behind the statements: More than a few white people have said (and a bit more thought) "Now that those trashy blacks have been washed away, we can remake this city in our own image, the way it was meant to be." Somebody I know told somebody else I know (that's about as vague as I can make it) that Houston could keep all the refugees they got, because they didn't want them in New Orleans anymore.
Now if I've heard and read this refrain a few times, then imagine how many times the mayor of New Orleans has heard it. So during a political speech on MLK day, he sorta lost it. I think he was tired of hearing stuff like that and spoke a repudiation against the theory that a whiter New Orleans is a better New Orleans. That's the best I can come up with.
Friday, January 13, 2006
The Great Escape
Not on the AFI's list of the top 100 movies, though I'd certainly put it ahead of at least 8 or 10 on the list. Actors you've heard of:
Steve McQueen, James Garner, Richard Attenborough, Charles Bronson, James Coburn
Actors you'd recognize but maybe haven't heard of:
Donald Pleasence, Nigel Stock
And there's a German actor whose first name is "Karl-Otto". I don't know how you get more German than that, unless your name is "Hans-Wolfgang".
Anyway, this is a really good movie. Made ten years after Stalag 17, it shares some things with it (secret codes, daring escapes, moments of levity worked into prison life), but it's a much fuller and more serious (not to mention longer) film. The details of the escape plans and the way they have everything worked out (based on actual events) are really enjoyable. Steve McQueen is good and cool, and I was rather surprised to realize that this is the first movie of his I've watched from start to finish. But the two who caught my eye the most were Charles Bronson and Richard Attenborough.
Attenborough is Roger Bartlett, the head of the whole escape operation ("Big X", he's called). He's a master escape artist, so he runs things calmly. But he hates the Germans, especially the Gestapo, so he also carries himself with a quiet fierceness, and if he were running for President, we'd say he had "gravitas".
Bronson plays Danny Velinski, "The Tunnel King" in charge of digging. He's a gritty, tough character who shows a surprising vulnerable streak later on. I couldn't understand him for a while, until I picked up on the fact that he was speaking with a Polish accent, like a good Velinski should. In real life, Bronson was the son of Polish immigrants and was born Charles Buchinski.
I really need to find the soundtrack to Once Upon a Time in China. Pretty good.
Anyway, really good movie. Not the ending I expected. The theme music is something you'll instantly recognize, and they find lots of ways to use it if you're paying attention. A lot longer than I expected at 2:52. But if you've got the time, go for it.
Steve McQueen, James Garner, Richard Attenborough, Charles Bronson, James Coburn
Actors you'd recognize but maybe haven't heard of:
Donald Pleasence, Nigel Stock
And there's a German actor whose first name is "Karl-Otto". I don't know how you get more German than that, unless your name is "Hans-Wolfgang".
Anyway, this is a really good movie. Made ten years after Stalag 17, it shares some things with it (secret codes, daring escapes, moments of levity worked into prison life), but it's a much fuller and more serious (not to mention longer) film. The details of the escape plans and the way they have everything worked out (based on actual events) are really enjoyable. Steve McQueen is good and cool, and I was rather surprised to realize that this is the first movie of his I've watched from start to finish. But the two who caught my eye the most were Charles Bronson and Richard Attenborough.
Attenborough is Roger Bartlett, the head of the whole escape operation ("Big X", he's called). He's a master escape artist, so he runs things calmly. But he hates the Germans, especially the Gestapo, so he also carries himself with a quiet fierceness, and if he were running for President, we'd say he had "gravitas".
Bronson plays Danny Velinski, "The Tunnel King" in charge of digging. He's a gritty, tough character who shows a surprising vulnerable streak later on. I couldn't understand him for a while, until I picked up on the fact that he was speaking with a Polish accent, like a good Velinski should. In real life, Bronson was the son of Polish immigrants and was born Charles Buchinski.
I really need to find the soundtrack to Once Upon a Time in China. Pretty good.
Anyway, really good movie. Not the ending I expected. The theme music is something you'll instantly recognize, and they find lots of ways to use it if you're paying attention. A lot longer than I expected at 2:52. But if you've got the time, go for it.
Smoking clarification
I mentioned that not being able to smoke in a bar was ridiculous and argued against the ban. However, I should add that if a place of business wants to declare itself smoke-free, then that's fine with me. Their house, their rules. It's the city passing a ban across the board, regardless of each individual place's preference, that I happen to disagree with.
On a related note, I listed "all the usual reasons" for why I was agianst smoking. However, "smoking's not cool" isn't one of them. I think that smoking is one of the coolest-looking things in the world. Roll up some paper with a chemical in it, put it in your mouth, light it on fire, inhale, and blow smoke. I love that. The image of guys sitting around a poker table with smoke hovering above is fantastic to me.
By the way, somebody on the EACT channel really likes me. They just showed Shaolin Soccer (though regrettably dubbed, no subtitles. Subtitling has gotten good enough the last few years that it doesn't take away from the movie for me anymore). Now they're showing the first Once Upon a Time in China with Jet Li (as Wong Fei Hung) and Rosamund Kwan (as Aunt Yee, or Aunt 13. I asked my friend Leon why she was called Aunt 13. He said that in rural parts of China, the families got really, really big. She is literally his father's thirteenth sister, so even though she's his age, Fei Hung calls her Aunt 13. Though in this dubbed version, it appears they've got him calling her "Cousin Yee" instead).
On a related note, I listed "all the usual reasons" for why I was agianst smoking. However, "smoking's not cool" isn't one of them. I think that smoking is one of the coolest-looking things in the world. Roll up some paper with a chemical in it, put it in your mouth, light it on fire, inhale, and blow smoke. I love that. The image of guys sitting around a poker table with smoke hovering above is fantastic to me.
By the way, somebody on the EACT channel really likes me. They just showed Shaolin Soccer (though regrettably dubbed, no subtitles. Subtitling has gotten good enough the last few years that it doesn't take away from the movie for me anymore). Now they're showing the first Once Upon a Time in China with Jet Li (as Wong Fei Hung) and Rosamund Kwan (as Aunt Yee, or Aunt 13. I asked my friend Leon why she was called Aunt 13. He said that in rural parts of China, the families got really, really big. She is literally his father's thirteenth sister, so even though she's his age, Fei Hung calls her Aunt 13. Though in this dubbed version, it appears they've got him calling her "Cousin Yee" instead).
Thursday, January 12, 2006
All Hail King Louis
I speak not of un des rois de la France, but of mon ami Louis, a native of Lafayette, LA. I briefly mentioned him in my story of SOTW the other night. Louis was the Chemistry TA at ADVANCE in 1996 and 1997 when I was an RA. He was in town for a few days and stayed with me Friday and Saturday night.
When I got back to the apartment this evening, a package was waiting for me. I hadn't ordered anything, but sometimes things come unexpectedly. It's not until after I sign for the box that I actually look at it. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a King Cake sent directly from New Orleans, LA. I figured it was from either my mom or my sister, but it turns out it was from Louis, as a way of saying thanks for letting him stay. I haven't had much King Cake the last few years, so this is a very pleasant surprise. There's even some beads and a doubloon or two as an added bonus. C'est nice.
Coming soon: The Great Escape
When I got back to the apartment this evening, a package was waiting for me. I hadn't ordered anything, but sometimes things come unexpectedly. It's not until after I sign for the box that I actually look at it. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a King Cake sent directly from New Orleans, LA. I figured it was from either my mom or my sister, but it turns out it was from Louis, as a way of saying thanks for letting him stay. I haven't had much King Cake the last few years, so this is a very pleasant surprise. There's even some beads and a doubloon or two as an added bonus. C'est nice.
Coming soon: The Great Escape
The Bridge to Nowhere
A couple of weeks ago, much attention was being paid to the so-called "Bridge to Nowhere", after Congress was on pace to appropriate 223 million dollars to build a bridge connecting Ketchikan, Alaska (pop. 8,000) to the island of Gravina (pop. 50). Nearly as long as the Golden Gate, and taller than the Brooklyn Bridge, they said. After facing even more ridicule over this pork project than usual, Congress amended the arrangement. Alaska still gets the money, but the project is no longer required. Thad Cochran from Mississippi is the current chairman of the Senate Appropriations committee, and I was a bit surprised he didn't say, "Uh, excuse me? Gulfport, Pascagoula, Mobile? You may not have heard, but they got blasted by a hurricane a few weeks ago. They could use a buck or two, thank you very much." It was a rough session for Ted Stevens, seeing as how he also lost out on drilling in ANWR.
Now let us turn our attention to this story, in which we read that thanks to high oil prices, the state of Alaska has a budget surplus of almost $1.25 billion (with a 'b', boys and girls). "And I assure you, we're not about to waste it," according to Governor Frank Murkowski. You mean "waste" as in a phoney-baloney bridge? If Senator Stevens and Congressman Young want their bridge so badly, then they've got the money to do it with right in their own backyard. Of course, states are much less eager to spend their own money than Uncle Sam's (which is reminds me of children who get an allowance, but still manage to manipulate their parents into buying everything for them). In this case, Congress is more than willing to play gullible parent. Which brings us to:
The Arctic Winter Games, which are being held in the Kenai Peninsula Borough in Alaska this year. Organizers were finding themselves a few hundred grand short until Stevens threw half a million into the defense approps bill. (The state's check for the billion plus must not have cleared yet) Just because this stuff happens often, I still can't resist saying, "The defense appropriations bill? Giving money towards organizing an arctic sporting contest? And they really get away with this stuff? Holy moley." And I quote:
"Since 9/11, the world is a different place," said games general manager Tim Dillon. "There are a variety of different areas you have to be concerned about."
Dillon said he couldn't reveal much of what the half-million dollars would be used for, citing security concerns. "I really can't go into a lot of details at this point," he said Thursday after addressing a state-federal law enforcement group called the Joint Task Force on Anti-terrorism at the FBI's Anchorage headquarters.
Number 1: Yes, the world is a different place, but I feel rather certain saying that one thing that hasn't changed is that terrorists are still don't have the Kenai Peninsula as one of their primary targets in order to break the will of the American people.
Number 2: "I really can't got into a lot of details" means "strippers. Lots and lots of strippers. And don't forget the booze."
Number 3: The FBI has a headquarters in Anchorage? Who knew?
It would be disingenuous of me to rant against pork projects and lobbying in general, even in light of recent corruption scandals. Citizens (and businesses) have a right to petition their government and ask for money. Legislators have a right to look after the people in their states. And voters have the right to kick out any legislator who votes for these projects (however, I was recently told that if you were an incumbent Member of the House of Representatives, you had a greater chance of dying in office than being defeated in a Congressional election. If that's true, then YOWZA!). My perspective is also colored by the fact that I loved working for a lobbying company, especially the lobbyists themselves. It came as a shock, believe me.
Anyway, the storal of my morey is that Alaska's got enough dough to pay for it's own stuff for a while, but the government (here I commit the cardinal sin of using the term "government" as if it is a monolithic entity of unified thought and perception) will never tell them to suck it up and do so. I wonder if it's too late for me to enter the toboggan competition.
Now let us turn our attention to this story, in which we read that thanks to high oil prices, the state of Alaska has a budget surplus of almost $1.25 billion (with a 'b', boys and girls). "And I assure you, we're not about to waste it," according to Governor Frank Murkowski. You mean "waste" as in a phoney-baloney bridge? If Senator Stevens and Congressman Young want their bridge so badly, then they've got the money to do it with right in their own backyard. Of course, states are much less eager to spend their own money than Uncle Sam's (which is reminds me of children who get an allowance, but still manage to manipulate their parents into buying everything for them). In this case, Congress is more than willing to play gullible parent. Which brings us to:
The Arctic Winter Games, which are being held in the Kenai Peninsula Borough in Alaska this year. Organizers were finding themselves a few hundred grand short until Stevens threw half a million into the defense approps bill. (The state's check for the billion plus must not have cleared yet) Just because this stuff happens often, I still can't resist saying, "The defense appropriations bill? Giving money towards organizing an arctic sporting contest? And they really get away with this stuff? Holy moley." And I quote:
"Since 9/11, the world is a different place," said games general manager Tim Dillon. "There are a variety of different areas you have to be concerned about."
Dillon said he couldn't reveal much of what the half-million dollars would be used for, citing security concerns. "I really can't go into a lot of details at this point," he said Thursday after addressing a state-federal law enforcement group called the Joint Task Force on Anti-terrorism at the FBI's Anchorage headquarters.
Number 1: Yes, the world is a different place, but I feel rather certain saying that one thing that hasn't changed is that terrorists are still don't have the Kenai Peninsula as one of their primary targets in order to break the will of the American people.
Number 2: "I really can't got into a lot of details" means "strippers. Lots and lots of strippers. And don't forget the booze."
Number 3: The FBI has a headquarters in Anchorage? Who knew?
It would be disingenuous of me to rant against pork projects and lobbying in general, even in light of recent corruption scandals. Citizens (and businesses) have a right to petition their government and ask for money. Legislators have a right to look after the people in their states. And voters have the right to kick out any legislator who votes for these projects (however, I was recently told that if you were an incumbent Member of the House of Representatives, you had a greater chance of dying in office than being defeated in a Congressional election. If that's true, then YOWZA!). My perspective is also colored by the fact that I loved working for a lobbying company, especially the lobbyists themselves. It came as a shock, believe me.
Anyway, the storal of my morey is that Alaska's got enough dough to pay for it's own stuff for a while, but the government (here I commit the cardinal sin of using the term "government" as if it is a monolithic entity of unified thought and perception) will never tell them to suck it up and do so. I wonder if it's too late for me to enter the toboggan competition.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Rude Awakening (happy, actually)
And no sooner do I go back to watching then I see an actress that always made me wonder, "Whatever happened to that girl?" Sherilyn Fenn was in Rude Awakening, a series that aired on Showtime from 1998-2001. Fenn was suuuuuuuh-moking as a recovering alcoholic who was absolutely not allowed to date the guy who owned the coffee place (who, now that I think about it, was a very Luke-like character). It was ridiculously funny, and extremely raunchy. Her raging alcoholic of a mother was played by Lynn Redgrave, of all people. One of my favorite lines comes from this exchange, when Billie (Fenn) yells that she inherited her alcoholism from her mother:
(pointing) "Alcoholism is a disease, and SHE gave it to me!"
"Don't be ridiculous, darling! We never even drank from the same glass!"
My other favorite line I can't write here. Raunchy show, remember? Anyway, it's good to see Fenn again, especially on one of the few non-sports shows I watch regularly.
(pointing) "Alcoholism is a disease, and SHE gave it to me!"
"Don't be ridiculous, darling! We never even drank from the same glass!"
My other favorite line I can't write here. Raunchy show, remember? Anyway, it's good to see Fenn again, especially on one of the few non-sports shows I watch regularly.
January is my favorite month...
...but April is gaining ground fast. The No. 1-ranked female gymnast in the country is currently April Burkholder, a senior at LSU. Congratulations, April, and if the Lady Tigers happen to be competing at Maryland, or GW, or Georgetown, or anyplace within about fifty miles, I hope someone decides to let me know.
Well, back to GG. Lorelai is happy, Luke is flummoxed, and Rory is back in school. Time to watch.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
The Boyfriend, Part Deux
I have previously told the story of seeing TWGW a few weeks ago, for the first time in over three years, and being shoved by her boyfriend while saying goodbye. It was quite funny. Last night I was back at SOTW with my friend Louis, with whom I worked at the ADVANCE camp almost ten years ago (yea, Chronos never stops his eternal march, the bastard). I hear her name pop up again, so I look around. The boyfriend (I'm guessing fiance now, based on the ring on her finger) is taller than I remember. When Louis is ready to go, I mosey over to tell her Happy New Year. "Thank you, and I'm really sorry about last time. It was all just a huge misunderstanding," she says. No kidding. "That's okay. Have a good evening". I'm so freaking nice, it's nauseating.
Saturday, January 07, 2006
The Rose Bowl
Let us consider the following:
Matt Leinart, the returning Heisman winner and All-American, was 29-40 for 365 yards, a TD and an INT. Reggie Bush, this year's Heisman winner, had 177 yards rushing/receiving, including an amazing 26-yard TD run around the right end that ended with a dive into the endzone. Add to that another 102 yards on kickoff returns and you've got 279 all-purpose yards, a most impressive total. LenDale White, a 3rd-team All-American, ran for over 120 yards (at 6+ per rush) and three TDs. These three combined for about 770 total yards and put up 30 of the 38 points that USC scored (the kicker accounted for a FG and five PATs).
The numbers above, of course, are just stats. They do not give justice to the ease with which White ran right up the gut of the Texas defense (or the emasculating stiff-arm around the left end on one UT defender), or the sharp intake of breath whenever Texas kicked off to Bush, or the accuracy and poise that Leinart showed in the 3rd and 4th quarters after being made a sandwich of by two Longhorn defenders in the 2nd.
And though none of them play defense and therefore do not tackle, it seemed like Vince Young beat them. He beat them all.
The Heisman runner-up passed for 267 yards, going 30-40 (75% in the national championship game!!), and ran for 200 more (on 10.5 yards a carry). While he frustrated the Trojans with a short passing game, he dominated them with his running. Reggie Bush is an electric runner, but Vince Young is a smooth glider, which leads people to misjudge his actual speed. He's 6-5 with a long stride, covering a lot of ground with each stride. It seems as if he will take one step, then actually accelerate in midair, then when the next foot hits the ground he is at full speed. Running up the middle on QB draws. Running around the end on busted plays. And most importantly, breaking the opponent's back by getting to the end zone when his team is up against the wall. I haven't seen all the games in college football history, so I will not say that Young's performance was the best ever. But I will be blessed if I ever see one better.
After the game, a reporter asked Matt Leinart how he felt. He said that he still thought USC was the better team, but that Texas made the plays in the end. Some people saw this as arrogant and classless, and maybe they can make a case for that. But to me it's an example of his competitiveness and stubborness. Being stubborn and competitive was a big reason that USC won 34 games in a row. Leinart and Bush went to visit the Texas locker room after the game, which doesn't seem like the act of a classless individual.
The two teams had been ranked 1-2 since the preseason, leading to stories about this being the greatest national title game ever. My enthusiasm was dampened by the fact that a) last year's BCS title game received the same hype: 2 Heisman winners (Leinart, Jason White) and four finalists, two of the great programs in college football history, (OU and USC); b) USC had faced some really, really serious challenges and had still managed to win 34 games in a row; and c) after OU went up 7-0, USC scored 55 of the game's last 67 points. Texas came in at 19 in a row, but I always go with the better streak (though you could make the argument that the longer the streak, the more likely it is to end). Anyway, I was going to believe a great game when I saw it, not out of hope. Don't tell me, show me.
The first half was good and tense, but not great. Leinart was a little off, and Young wasn't taking off too often, though he did have a run ending in a lateral to Selvin Young, resulting in a TD. The definitive play of the first half came from Reggie Bush. After catching a quick screen from Leinart, he exploded up the middle and was headed for a huge gain and a back-breaking score. For reasons beyond the comprehension of mortal man, he tried to lateral the ball to an unsuspecting teammate, and Texas recovered. Instead of 10-0 or 14-0, Texas turned the turnover into three points the other way. Huge, huge play. 16-10 UT at halftime.
Whatever rust the offenses had felt in the first half was completely gone in the second. Leinart got in sync with Dwayne Jarrett and LenDale White continued his excellent play. Vince Young let his legs do a lot more of the work, and when USC came up to stop him he used short, accurate passes to get first downs. Tight end David Thomas was a particularly effective and tough receiver in the middle of the field. Touchdown USC. Touchdown Texas. Touchdown USC. Missed Texas FG, Touchdown USC. FG Texas, Touchdown USC. Both offenses playing at an extremely high level, with the USC defense playing well enough to slow down the Longhorns and allow their offense to take control of the game.
All of which leaves us with this: 6:42 left to play, 38-26 USC. The Longhorns need two touchdowns against the defending champions, who have shown the ability to close out big games in tight situations. Not looking good for Texas, no?
Looking good for Vince Young, YES. Every offensive play for Texas from about the 10-minute mark of the 4th quarter until the end begins with the words "Vince Young pass" (to five different receivers) or "Vince Young run". The game was entirely in his hands. He first drove them 69 yards for a touchdown, the last 17 coming on a run that started left, almost saw Young slipping, regaining his balance, and heading back to the right. (Note to defensive coordinators: he really, really likes to run right).
USC has the ball again with 3:58 left. USC needs two first downs to ice the game. They get one with Dwayne Jarrett, who had a wonderful second half after sleepwalking his way through the first. Instead of running LenDale White three times, they run him once, then go for a pass to fullback Brandon Hancock, which falls incomplete. Another White rush leaves the Trojans at 4th and 2 at the Texas 45, with 2:13 left. White has been hammering the middle of the UT defense all night long. But on the next play, he hammered them a just a few inches too little. First and ten Longhorns, with 2:09 to go. A facemask penalty helps convert a 3rd and 12. Pass, rush, pass, first down at the 13.
4th and five, for all intents and purposes the title resting on the next play. Young runs the play that everyone is expecting (including the USC defense) and hoping for (excepting the USC defense). Drop back to pass, wait for the rush to come and the defense to spread out covering the receivers, and then move out of the pocket to make something happen. "Something" was a run right, eluding one defender in the open field and beating another to the front corner of the end zone. A rush up the middle for the two point conversion, and it's 41-38 Texas. Ballgame. Great game.
Matt Leinart, the returning Heisman winner and All-American, was 29-40 for 365 yards, a TD and an INT. Reggie Bush, this year's Heisman winner, had 177 yards rushing/receiving, including an amazing 26-yard TD run around the right end that ended with a dive into the endzone. Add to that another 102 yards on kickoff returns and you've got 279 all-purpose yards, a most impressive total. LenDale White, a 3rd-team All-American, ran for over 120 yards (at 6+ per rush) and three TDs. These three combined for about 770 total yards and put up 30 of the 38 points that USC scored (the kicker accounted for a FG and five PATs).
The numbers above, of course, are just stats. They do not give justice to the ease with which White ran right up the gut of the Texas defense (or the emasculating stiff-arm around the left end on one UT defender), or the sharp intake of breath whenever Texas kicked off to Bush, or the accuracy and poise that Leinart showed in the 3rd and 4th quarters after being made a sandwich of by two Longhorn defenders in the 2nd.
And though none of them play defense and therefore do not tackle, it seemed like Vince Young beat them. He beat them all.
The Heisman runner-up passed for 267 yards, going 30-40 (75% in the national championship game!!), and ran for 200 more (on 10.5 yards a carry). While he frustrated the Trojans with a short passing game, he dominated them with his running. Reggie Bush is an electric runner, but Vince Young is a smooth glider, which leads people to misjudge his actual speed. He's 6-5 with a long stride, covering a lot of ground with each stride. It seems as if he will take one step, then actually accelerate in midair, then when the next foot hits the ground he is at full speed. Running up the middle on QB draws. Running around the end on busted plays. And most importantly, breaking the opponent's back by getting to the end zone when his team is up against the wall. I haven't seen all the games in college football history, so I will not say that Young's performance was the best ever. But I will be blessed if I ever see one better.
After the game, a reporter asked Matt Leinart how he felt. He said that he still thought USC was the better team, but that Texas made the plays in the end. Some people saw this as arrogant and classless, and maybe they can make a case for that. But to me it's an example of his competitiveness and stubborness. Being stubborn and competitive was a big reason that USC won 34 games in a row. Leinart and Bush went to visit the Texas locker room after the game, which doesn't seem like the act of a classless individual.
The two teams had been ranked 1-2 since the preseason, leading to stories about this being the greatest national title game ever. My enthusiasm was dampened by the fact that a) last year's BCS title game received the same hype: 2 Heisman winners (Leinart, Jason White) and four finalists, two of the great programs in college football history, (OU and USC); b) USC had faced some really, really serious challenges and had still managed to win 34 games in a row; and c) after OU went up 7-0, USC scored 55 of the game's last 67 points. Texas came in at 19 in a row, but I always go with the better streak (though you could make the argument that the longer the streak, the more likely it is to end). Anyway, I was going to believe a great game when I saw it, not out of hope. Don't tell me, show me.
The first half was good and tense, but not great. Leinart was a little off, and Young wasn't taking off too often, though he did have a run ending in a lateral to Selvin Young, resulting in a TD. The definitive play of the first half came from Reggie Bush. After catching a quick screen from Leinart, he exploded up the middle and was headed for a huge gain and a back-breaking score. For reasons beyond the comprehension of mortal man, he tried to lateral the ball to an unsuspecting teammate, and Texas recovered. Instead of 10-0 or 14-0, Texas turned the turnover into three points the other way. Huge, huge play. 16-10 UT at halftime.
Whatever rust the offenses had felt in the first half was completely gone in the second. Leinart got in sync with Dwayne Jarrett and LenDale White continued his excellent play. Vince Young let his legs do a lot more of the work, and when USC came up to stop him he used short, accurate passes to get first downs. Tight end David Thomas was a particularly effective and tough receiver in the middle of the field. Touchdown USC. Touchdown Texas. Touchdown USC. Missed Texas FG, Touchdown USC. FG Texas, Touchdown USC. Both offenses playing at an extremely high level, with the USC defense playing well enough to slow down the Longhorns and allow their offense to take control of the game.
All of which leaves us with this: 6:42 left to play, 38-26 USC. The Longhorns need two touchdowns against the defending champions, who have shown the ability to close out big games in tight situations. Not looking good for Texas, no?
Looking good for Vince Young, YES. Every offensive play for Texas from about the 10-minute mark of the 4th quarter until the end begins with the words "Vince Young pass" (to five different receivers) or "Vince Young run". The game was entirely in his hands. He first drove them 69 yards for a touchdown, the last 17 coming on a run that started left, almost saw Young slipping, regaining his balance, and heading back to the right. (Note to defensive coordinators: he really, really likes to run right).
USC has the ball again with 3:58 left. USC needs two first downs to ice the game. They get one with Dwayne Jarrett, who had a wonderful second half after sleepwalking his way through the first. Instead of running LenDale White three times, they run him once, then go for a pass to fullback Brandon Hancock, which falls incomplete. Another White rush leaves the Trojans at 4th and 2 at the Texas 45, with 2:13 left. White has been hammering the middle of the UT defense all night long. But on the next play, he hammered them a just a few inches too little. First and ten Longhorns, with 2:09 to go. A facemask penalty helps convert a 3rd and 12. Pass, rush, pass, first down at the 13.
4th and five, for all intents and purposes the title resting on the next play. Young runs the play that everyone is expecting (including the USC defense) and hoping for (excepting the USC defense). Drop back to pass, wait for the rush to come and the defense to spread out covering the receivers, and then move out of the pocket to make something happen. "Something" was a run right, eluding one defender in the open field and beating another to the front corner of the end zone. A rush up the middle for the two point conversion, and it's 41-38 Texas. Ballgame. Great game.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Nosmo king
There's an urban legend about a child being named "Nosmo King", but the real story is probably that of a grown man using it as a stage name. A little rearrangeroo shows us "No Smoking". Apparently, Mr. King now holds a seat on the DC City Council, which just passed a no smoking ban effective on January 7 of next year. From the Post:
"The D.C. Council gave final approval yesterday to a broad ban on smoking in bars, restaurants and other public places, voting 11 to 1 to add the nation's capital to a growing list of smoke-free cities and states."
I don't smoke, and I don't think people should for all the usual reasons...BUT:
The fact that people can't smoke in a bar is ridiculous. It's a bar, ladies and gentlemen. It's where people go to do unhealthy things, like kill brain cells with alcohol and put fattening food down their throats. It's not a day spa or a kindergarten class, for crying out loud. A guy sitting next to me at SOTW one night lit up a cigar and told me to let him know if it was bothering me. "I'm in a bar," I said. "If I don't want to be around smoke, I can always go someplace else." Restaurants, okay. But bars?
I'm sure there's a big number of restaurants that also have bars in them, and a big number of bars that serve food. But some places are definitively bars (SOTW), and some places are definitively restaurants (M&S). Smoke in the former, eat in the latter. If you've got a place that bills itself as "ACME Restaurant and Bar", then ask somebody else what to do, because I admit to not having an answer for this one.
"The D.C. Council gave final approval yesterday to a broad ban on smoking in bars, restaurants and other public places, voting 11 to 1 to add the nation's capital to a growing list of smoke-free cities and states."
I don't smoke, and I don't think people should for all the usual reasons...BUT:
The fact that people can't smoke in a bar is ridiculous. It's a bar, ladies and gentlemen. It's where people go to do unhealthy things, like kill brain cells with alcohol and put fattening food down their throats. It's not a day spa or a kindergarten class, for crying out loud. A guy sitting next to me at SOTW one night lit up a cigar and told me to let him know if it was bothering me. "I'm in a bar," I said. "If I don't want to be around smoke, I can always go someplace else." Restaurants, okay. But bars?
I'm sure there's a big number of restaurants that also have bars in them, and a big number of bars that serve food. But some places are definitively bars (SOTW), and some places are definitively restaurants (M&S). Smoke in the former, eat in the latter. If you've got a place that bills itself as "ACME Restaurant and Bar", then ask somebody else what to do, because I admit to not having an answer for this one.
Sports on Slate
Slate is a pretty darn good website, which has soared in my rankings over the last few months. They do intelligent work and don't pretend at non-partiality. And they've got Christopher Hitchens, whom I like to read even though he once took on "Mother Frickin' Teresa!" as Dennis Miller once exclaimed.
But now and then they venture into the sports realm, usually going counter to popular opinion. The most recent of these columns can be found here, in which Jonathan Chait tells us why he thinks USC isn't as good as everybody else seems to. One thing I think he discounts a little too much is how much the game has changed over the last twenty or so years in terms of not only athleticism (240-pound guys running forty yards in four and a half seconds, for example), but also complexity. No, you could not use this argument to prove that 2005 Temple is the greatest team of all time because they would beat 1901 Michigan, because that assumes that 1901 Michigan could beat any other team in history, and that's not true. He doesn't discount the changes completely, just too much, I think.
By the way, USC could win this game 100-0 (though they won't because the score is currently 9-7 Texas), and I still wouldn't call them the greatest of all time. My choice goes, of course, to 1995 Nebraska, and many others would agree, though that's got nothing to do with my selection. I'm biased because I like Nebraska. Tom Osborne is my favorite coach, and QB Tommie Frazier is my favorite college player of all time. I don't say they are the most complete team ever, because they don't come close in the category of passing offense. But I do think they separate themselves from the rest because they are by far the meanest team I have ever laid eyes on. You have to be mean to play the way they did and get the results they did. Where the rubber meets the road, football is a game of mean, and nobody did mean better than them. They said two things going into every game.
"On offense, we will run the ball to the left, run the ball to the left, and run the ball to the right. We may pass now and then. You won't be able to stop us, because your entire front seven will be knocked on their bottoms by our offensive line and tight ends, and our backfield will run over or around your secondary."
and
"On defense, we will beat the hell out of you with our speed, strength, and scheme. We will man up on your skill guys and send everybody else out to hospitalize your quarterback. You don't particularly stand a chance."
If anyone out there happens to have tape of their games from that year, I'd sure like to see it.
But now and then they venture into the sports realm, usually going counter to popular opinion. The most recent of these columns can be found here, in which Jonathan Chait tells us why he thinks USC isn't as good as everybody else seems to. One thing I think he discounts a little too much is how much the game has changed over the last twenty or so years in terms of not only athleticism (240-pound guys running forty yards in four and a half seconds, for example), but also complexity. No, you could not use this argument to prove that 2005 Temple is the greatest team of all time because they would beat 1901 Michigan, because that assumes that 1901 Michigan could beat any other team in history, and that's not true. He doesn't discount the changes completely, just too much, I think.
By the way, USC could win this game 100-0 (though they won't because the score is currently 9-7 Texas), and I still wouldn't call them the greatest of all time. My choice goes, of course, to 1995 Nebraska, and many others would agree, though that's got nothing to do with my selection. I'm biased because I like Nebraska. Tom Osborne is my favorite coach, and QB Tommie Frazier is my favorite college player of all time. I don't say they are the most complete team ever, because they don't come close in the category of passing offense. But I do think they separate themselves from the rest because they are by far the meanest team I have ever laid eyes on. You have to be mean to play the way they did and get the results they did. Where the rubber meets the road, football is a game of mean, and nobody did mean better than them. They said two things going into every game.
"On offense, we will run the ball to the left, run the ball to the left, and run the ball to the right. We may pass now and then. You won't be able to stop us, because your entire front seven will be knocked on their bottoms by our offensive line and tight ends, and our backfield will run over or around your secondary."
and
"On defense, we will beat the hell out of you with our speed, strength, and scheme. We will man up on your skill guys and send everybody else out to hospitalize your quarterback. You don't particularly stand a chance."
If anyone out there happens to have tape of their games from that year, I'd sure like to see it.
Counter-programming
I truly wonder who in this country is currently watching "Yes, Dear", "Stacked", or "Biggest Loser" instead of the Rose Bowl? I realize that not everyone is the college football fan that I am, and that plenty of people don't give a darn about the game, but how could anyone think that any of those could compete with the BCS title game? I hear that "Biggest Loser" does rather well, but those other two have got to be among the dregs of the airwaves.
At least I would think so. But now I see that YD has been around for five years and 100 episodes. And yet "Third Rock From the Sun" and "Futurama" are gone. The Church has a bumper sticker that says "If You Want Peace, Work for Justice" (I almost typed "No Justice, No Peace!"). But where's the justice in that?
However, on the EACT channel, they're showing Shaolin Soccer, one of my favorite movies to come out in the past few years, and one of the few I own on DVD. A very worthy program to put opposite the game. Stephen Chow has really caught my attention with SS and the ultra-hilarious Kung Fu Hustle, which I may also buy soon. I recently watched King of Comedy from 1999. It's funny and sad and wacky, which seem to be trademarks of not only Chow but some other Chinese films I've seen as well. I believe there are greater highs and lows (especially lows) in Chinese comedy than in American. There is a much greater capacity for extreme degredation and humiliation as well, in pursuit of a good laugh. For example:
Tin Sau (Chow) tells a not so tough triad member to watch him from a distance and he'll show him how to act in order to extort money. But Tin Sau gets distracted by a naked little boy, who he starts playing with, and you think, "Oh no, he can't actually do that to that grown man, can he? HE DID!!!" There's lots of that stuff.
Anyway, we've come all the way from the foolishness of network programmers to the excellence of Stephen Chow. Enjoy.
At least I would think so. But now I see that YD has been around for five years and 100 episodes. And yet "Third Rock From the Sun" and "Futurama" are gone. The Church has a bumper sticker that says "If You Want Peace, Work for Justice" (I almost typed "No Justice, No Peace!"). But where's the justice in that?
However, on the EACT channel, they're showing Shaolin Soccer, one of my favorite movies to come out in the past few years, and one of the few I own on DVD. A very worthy program to put opposite the game. Stephen Chow has really caught my attention with SS and the ultra-hilarious Kung Fu Hustle, which I may also buy soon. I recently watched King of Comedy from 1999. It's funny and sad and wacky, which seem to be trademarks of not only Chow but some other Chinese films I've seen as well. I believe there are greater highs and lows (especially lows) in Chinese comedy than in American. There is a much greater capacity for extreme degredation and humiliation as well, in pursuit of a good laugh. For example:
Tin Sau (Chow) tells a not so tough triad member to watch him from a distance and he'll show him how to act in order to extort money. But Tin Sau gets distracted by a naked little boy, who he starts playing with, and you think, "Oh no, he can't actually do that to that grown man, can he? HE DID!!!" There's lots of that stuff.
Anyway, we've come all the way from the foolishness of network programmers to the excellence of Stephen Chow. Enjoy.
Dave Barry strikes again
Dave Barry used to write a very funny column for the Miami Herald until he decided to quasi-retire in order to spend more time with his family. This is what professional coaches and politicians say when they resign right before they end up getting indicted or sued for something really bad. But in Barry's case, it seems to be true. "More's the pity," as the wonderfully-written Artemis Entreri has taken to saying. Imagine the material he could create if he were indicted for something like, say, pig-stealing.
All he really has to do is tell the truth now and then, and it's even funnier (or more depressing) than the stuff he makes up. Every year he writes a review of the previous year's biggest stories, some of which are even true. You can read his latest here.
My favorite lines are all about Joe Biden, for some reason. Maybe it's because I listened to some of the Roberts confirmation hearings on C-SPAN radio, of which Biden was a big (and long-winded) part. Apparently Dave did, too. Some examples:
In other government news, President Bush's nominee to be attorney general, Alberto Gonzales, undergoes a grueling Senate hearing in which Democrats probe him repeatedly about his views on torture. At one point, the Democrats threaten that, if Gonzales does not give them the information they want, they will force him to listen, without ear protection, to a question from Sen. Joe Biden. "No!" screams Gonzales. "Anything but that!"
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The Senate reaches an agreement ending a stalemate over the confirmation of Bush-appointed judges, thus avoiding the so-called "nuclear option," under which Sen. Joe Biden would be allowed to ask a question, thereby shutting the federal government down for months.
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In non-hurricane news, the Senate confirms the Supreme Court nominee known as "John Roberts" after the Judiciary Committee spends several fruitless days trying to trick him into expressing an opinion by asking trap questions such as, "Can you tell us the capital of Vermont and your views on abortion?" The only moment of drama comes when Sen. Joe Biden launches into his opening remarks, thus causing several committee members, who forgot to insert earplugs, to lapse into comas.
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All he really has to do is tell the truth now and then, and it's even funnier (or more depressing) than the stuff he makes up. Every year he writes a review of the previous year's biggest stories, some of which are even true. You can read his latest here.
My favorite lines are all about Joe Biden, for some reason. Maybe it's because I listened to some of the Roberts confirmation hearings on C-SPAN radio, of which Biden was a big (and long-winded) part. Apparently Dave did, too. Some examples:
In other government news, President Bush's nominee to be attorney general, Alberto Gonzales, undergoes a grueling Senate hearing in which Democrats probe him repeatedly about his views on torture. At one point, the Democrats threaten that, if Gonzales does not give them the information they want, they will force him to listen, without ear protection, to a question from Sen. Joe Biden. "No!" screams Gonzales. "Anything but that!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Senate reaches an agreement ending a stalemate over the confirmation of Bush-appointed judges, thus avoiding the so-called "nuclear option," under which Sen. Joe Biden would be allowed to ask a question, thereby shutting the federal government down for months.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In non-hurricane news, the Senate confirms the Supreme Court nominee known as "John Roberts" after the Judiciary Committee spends several fruitless days trying to trick him into expressing an opinion by asking trap questions such as, "Can you tell us the capital of Vermont and your views on abortion?" The only moment of drama comes when Sen. Joe Biden launches into his opening remarks, thus causing several committee members, who forgot to insert earplugs, to lapse into comas.
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Monday, January 02, 2006
Casino high, casino low
I talked about the casino some earlier, but I'd like to mention a couple of other things. There is of course the thrill of victory. When your number comes up at roulette, especially back-to-back. When you get three of a kind playing three credits on the slot machine (the ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding sound of credits piling up is wonderful, though it's a shame they've done away with the coins falling into the tray). And if I understood craps, I'm sure the joy of not hitting seven on the dice would be just as sweet.
Losing is bad, but not as bad when you expect to lose. But a really bad part of going to the casino is looking around at so many people that make you think to yourself, "They shouldn't be here." I don't say they don't have the right to be there, or that their presence is offensive or disruptive. And maybe they're just in for a little while, know their limit, and will be out in a jiffy. I'm not talking about compulsive gamblers or seniors betting their social security checks or priests and nuns.
My sister and I were walking around the floor when we passed a certain row of slots and I said, "I think it's sort of disturbing to see people in wheelchairs playing the slot machines." About sixty seconds later, she said, "Not as disturbing as that."
"That" was a woman at a slot machine. A woman hooked up to an oxygen machine. Why didn't she just breathe the gas coming out of an erupting volcano? A casino has to be one of, if not the worst, places in the world to go if you have breathing difficulties. There are more smokers in there than $100 chips. No, I'm not her guardian angel. No, she's not breaking the law. But she shouldn't be there!
Losing is bad, but not as bad when you expect to lose. But a really bad part of going to the casino is looking around at so many people that make you think to yourself, "They shouldn't be here." I don't say they don't have the right to be there, or that their presence is offensive or disruptive. And maybe they're just in for a little while, know their limit, and will be out in a jiffy. I'm not talking about compulsive gamblers or seniors betting their social security checks or priests and nuns.
My sister and I were walking around the floor when we passed a certain row of slots and I said, "I think it's sort of disturbing to see people in wheelchairs playing the slot machines." About sixty seconds later, she said, "Not as disturbing as that."
"That" was a woman at a slot machine. A woman hooked up to an oxygen machine. Why didn't she just breathe the gas coming out of an erupting volcano? A casino has to be one of, if not the worst, places in the world to go if you have breathing difficulties. There are more smokers in there than $100 chips. No, I'm not her guardian angel. No, she's not breaking the law. But she shouldn't be there!
Sunday, January 01, 2006
The Mighty Tigers
The Peach Bowl wasn't something I was really looking forward to. LSU had been blown out by UGA in the SEC title game and JaMarcus Russell was out with a separated shoulder. Miami's defense has been good all year, and LSU's offense had not. So it was with trepidation that I sat in the den with my dad to watch the game.
Missed FG on the first drive, though we didn't look terrible. Miami FG made it 3-0. LSU punt. LSU FG. Then with fourth and inches in the 2nd, Miami surprisingly ran a QB scramble around the right end instead of using its o-line and back to get a few measly inches. Melvin Oliver, who had a great game, knocked him out for a loss. LSU takes over, and on 3rd and 11, Matt Flynn calmly launches a long pass to Craig Davis, who caught a 51 yard TD. 10-3 Tigers. C'est nice.
LSU's D continued to shut down Miami, helped by disgraceful play by WR Lance Leggett, who looked like he was either scared or at least reluctant to go for the ball against the LSU DBs. He would've helped his team more by jumping on a trampoline on the moon. With 23 seconds left in the half, LSU ran a play that beat Florida last year. Shotgun, Addai to the left, Skyler Green in motion from the right, fake handoff to Skyler running left, Addai sneaking out to the right. Under pressure, Flynn (calmly, as he looked all night) floats it out to him, and Addai slips into the front corner of the end zone untouched. 20-3 at halftime, LSU.
Second half was more of the same. Addai rushed for another TD, and Jacob Hester ran for another after Addai went out. I'm not a huge fan of Hester's but this was his best game as a Tiger by far. I tend to think he's overused, since whenever he goes in the defense knows he's getting the ball. He ran hard all night long, bulling over defenders. With Addai and Justin Vincent out, his play was really important.
By this time Miami had quit. Their line wasn't blocking. Their defense wasn't tackling. The final was 40-3, a result of LSU playing their most complete and dominating game of the season, including the Ole Miss and North Texas games. A great way to end the season, and hopefully a big boost to recruiting in February.
Missed FG on the first drive, though we didn't look terrible. Miami FG made it 3-0. LSU punt. LSU FG. Then with fourth and inches in the 2nd, Miami surprisingly ran a QB scramble around the right end instead of using its o-line and back to get a few measly inches. Melvin Oliver, who had a great game, knocked him out for a loss. LSU takes over, and on 3rd and 11, Matt Flynn calmly launches a long pass to Craig Davis, who caught a 51 yard TD. 10-3 Tigers. C'est nice.
LSU's D continued to shut down Miami, helped by disgraceful play by WR Lance Leggett, who looked like he was either scared or at least reluctant to go for the ball against the LSU DBs. He would've helped his team more by jumping on a trampoline on the moon. With 23 seconds left in the half, LSU ran a play that beat Florida last year. Shotgun, Addai to the left, Skyler Green in motion from the right, fake handoff to Skyler running left, Addai sneaking out to the right. Under pressure, Flynn (calmly, as he looked all night) floats it out to him, and Addai slips into the front corner of the end zone untouched. 20-3 at halftime, LSU.
Second half was more of the same. Addai rushed for another TD, and Jacob Hester ran for another after Addai went out. I'm not a huge fan of Hester's but this was his best game as a Tiger by far. I tend to think he's overused, since whenever he goes in the defense knows he's getting the ball. He ran hard all night long, bulling over defenders. With Addai and Justin Vincent out, his play was really important.
By this time Miami had quit. Their line wasn't blocking. Their defense wasn't tackling. The final was 40-3, a result of LSU playing their most complete and dominating game of the season, including the Ole Miss and North Texas games. A great way to end the season, and hopefully a big boost to recruiting in February.
Football Friday
There have been some big comebacks in bowl games so far this year. UCF came back from ten down in the last 3:18 to send their game against Nevada into overtime. Boise State almost came back from 27-0, losing 27-21 on their home field in the MPC Computers Bowl, played on the blue astroturf. Virginia came back from 21-7 to beat Minnesota 34-31.
UCLA was down 22-0 to Northwestern and ended up winning 50-38. While NW was trying to come back, two of their kickoffs were returned for touchdowns. Two TD returns on kickoff aren't usual, but hardly unheard of. Two returns by the same player is a bit rarer, but it's usually the same player. But the really unusual thing about this game is that both returns by the same player came off of onside kicks. Onside kicks are rarely returned for any yardage at all, since it usually involves players piling on to the site where the ball ends up. But Brandon Braezell snatched two of them out of the air and took them all the way.
Missouri was down 21-0 to South Carolina in the Independence Bowl, but came back to win 38-31. Missouri's Brad Smith ran all over the place in the second half. But these games were just a prelude to...
UCLA was down 22-0 to Northwestern and ended up winning 50-38. While NW was trying to come back, two of their kickoffs were returned for touchdowns. Two TD returns on kickoff aren't usual, but hardly unheard of. Two returns by the same player is a bit rarer, but it's usually the same player. But the really unusual thing about this game is that both returns by the same player came off of onside kicks. Onside kicks are rarely returned for any yardage at all, since it usually involves players piling on to the site where the ball ends up. But Brandon Braezell snatched two of them out of the air and took them all the way.
Missouri was down 21-0 to South Carolina in the Independence Bowl, but came back to win 38-31. Missouri's Brad Smith ran all over the place in the second half. But these games were just a prelude to...
Thursday
We went back to Natchitoches Thursday morning, but not before stopping by the ridiculously huge Bass Pro Shops Outdoor World Retail Store. They'll never sell all the stuff in there in 1,000 years. Especially with as small a crowd as we saw in there.
Thursday night Uncle Richard and our friends the Taylors came over for crawfish stew. Always a fun time. Later on was the Holiday Bowl, Oregon vs. Oklahoma. I'd thought that Oklahoma would win based on how much better they played later on in the year, and honestly thought they'd win bigger than 17-14. If Rhett Bomar shows any improvement and Adrian Peterson is healthy next year, then OU will be something to watch.
Thursday night Uncle Richard and our friends the Taylors came over for crawfish stew. Always a fun time. Later on was the Holiday Bowl, Oregon vs. Oklahoma. I'd thought that Oklahoma would win based on how much better they played later on in the year, and honestly thought they'd win bigger than 17-14. If Rhett Bomar shows any improvement and Adrian Peterson is healthy next year, then OU will be something to watch.
Wednesday
Steak and eggs is one of the great breakfast meals in the history of the universe, if not the greatest. And the steak and eggs I had at the Oak Creek restaurant at the Horseshoe is the best I've ever had. Medium rare and pink in the middle, a little salty. Deeee-licious.
Brooke joined us that morning, and we went to the Louisiana Down racetrack, which was having races originally scheduled for the Fairgrounds in New Orleans. But first, we stopped by the new Louisiana Boardwalk nearby. A nice 4 for 1 deal going on at the Borders outlet. One guy walked up to the counter and asked if they had Brokeback Mountain in stock. They didn't. "Somebody told me to ask," he said. Suuuuure.
We stopped by the slots at the track first, where I was pleasantly surprised to win $60. I won on the first race, but that was about it. I was close on some exactas and a trifecta, but I ended up a little behind for the day. I think my mom came out about 50 bucks ahead. She ought to, since her grandfather trained racehorses. During one race there were only five horses running, so my sister bet them all to win, guaranteeing her one win. Mom bet them all to show, guaranteeing her three wins. Later on I was able to convince Brooke to bet on all ten horses in a race: 1, 2, 3 to win; 4, 5, 6 to place; 7, 8, 9, 10 to show.
For dinner we went to a Chinese restaurant called Four Winds, which was really excellent. Our waitress, Fang, was competent and funny. When my dad ordered the ribs, she said, "Koreans like the ribs. Maybe not for you, huh?" The alternative she suggested for him was pretty good (orange skin fried filet, or something like that). My mom and Brooke were very fond of the pea and asparagus soup. I got the Beef Chow Fun, but the best thing in the entire restaurant wasn't on the menu: Sondra the hostess. She was a masterpiece of divine manufacturing. Not beauty personified, but rather angelfied. A wonder to behold in action. Most of the workers were Asian, and maybe she was too. But what she really reminded me of was a Caucasian actress from the 50s that the producers and directors would try to make look Asian (because using an actual Asian for the role would have been unthinkable, of course). Whatever she was, she was dream in a Chinese dress.
Brooke and I played some slots later on, but I was mostly interested in the Alamo Bowl between Nebraska and Michigan, two of the best programs in the history of college football. Nebraska had a 36-year bowl streak broken last year. Michigan was on the verge of losing five games in a season for the first time in 21 years. With Michigan up 28-17, Nebraska scored the last 15 points of the game and won 32-28. There was really, really bad officiating that didn't help Michigan, and a crazy lateral after lateral after lateral after lateral, etc. play that Michigan almost scored on, and that should have seen a flag thrown on Nebraska because they only had maybe 60 players on the field.
Brooke joined us that morning, and we went to the Louisiana Down racetrack, which was having races originally scheduled for the Fairgrounds in New Orleans. But first, we stopped by the new Louisiana Boardwalk nearby. A nice 4 for 1 deal going on at the Borders outlet. One guy walked up to the counter and asked if they had Brokeback Mountain in stock. They didn't. "Somebody told me to ask," he said. Suuuuure.
We stopped by the slots at the track first, where I was pleasantly surprised to win $60. I won on the first race, but that was about it. I was close on some exactas and a trifecta, but I ended up a little behind for the day. I think my mom came out about 50 bucks ahead. She ought to, since her grandfather trained racehorses. During one race there were only five horses running, so my sister bet them all to win, guaranteeing her one win. Mom bet them all to show, guaranteeing her three wins. Later on I was able to convince Brooke to bet on all ten horses in a race: 1, 2, 3 to win; 4, 5, 6 to place; 7, 8, 9, 10 to show.
For dinner we went to a Chinese restaurant called Four Winds, which was really excellent. Our waitress, Fang, was competent and funny. When my dad ordered the ribs, she said, "Koreans like the ribs. Maybe not for you, huh?" The alternative she suggested for him was pretty good (orange skin fried filet, or something like that). My mom and Brooke were very fond of the pea and asparagus soup. I got the Beef Chow Fun, but the best thing in the entire restaurant wasn't on the menu: Sondra the hostess. She was a masterpiece of divine manufacturing. Not beauty personified, but rather angelfied. A wonder to behold in action. Most of the workers were Asian, and maybe she was too. But what she really reminded me of was a Caucasian actress from the 50s that the producers and directors would try to make look Asian (because using an actual Asian for the role would have been unthinkable, of course). Whatever she was, she was dream in a Chinese dress.
Brooke and I played some slots later on, but I was mostly interested in the Alamo Bowl between Nebraska and Michigan, two of the best programs in the history of college football. Nebraska had a 36-year bowl streak broken last year. Michigan was on the verge of losing five games in a season for the first time in 21 years. With Michigan up 28-17, Nebraska scored the last 15 points of the game and won 32-28. There was really, really bad officiating that didn't help Michigan, and a crazy lateral after lateral after lateral after lateral, etc. play that Michigan almost scored on, and that should have seen a flag thrown on Nebraska because they only had maybe 60 players on the field.
...Tuesday
My parents and I drove up to Shreveport for two nights at the Horseshoe Casino (technically in Bossier City, across the river). A very nice hotel to stay in. My first-ever professional massage was at 2pm, a 1-hour Swedish. I always wonder at the rich and powerful who pay people to manipulate their bodies, whether it's bathing, massaging, or dressing them. Paying somebody to rub their elbows along the bottom of your feet was pretty new to me. I always like a good massage, but I never really got that "Wow, that feels really good" feeling. I figure it's because I don't feel a lot of stress anyway, so it doesn't manage to tense me up that much.
Later on I was off to play roulette, my favorite casino game (which unfortunately also presents the worst odds of winning). I walked around for a while, then watched a good looking Thai girl lay down money all over the table. She hung around for a long time, but I didn't get the feeling she was actually trying to win, just seeing how much she could put on the table at one time. I lost pretty quickly.
Dinner that night was a filet with shrimp, which was good. After laying down with a drink, I tried my luck again, and hung aroun dfor a lot longer. I threw more money around than I usually do, and that seemed to work for a while. But remember, boys and girls, in the long run, you always lose. Casinos play to people's addictions. Walk down the line of slot machines and count the number of people with a drink in one hand, a cigarette in the other, playing two slot machines at the same time. No windows so you can discern the passage of time. I enjoy the casino, but I don't go in expecting--or even worse, needing--to win.
Later on I was off to play roulette, my favorite casino game (which unfortunately also presents the worst odds of winning). I walked around for a while, then watched a good looking Thai girl lay down money all over the table. She hung around for a long time, but I didn't get the feeling she was actually trying to win, just seeing how much she could put on the table at one time. I lost pretty quickly.
Dinner that night was a filet with shrimp, which was good. After laying down with a drink, I tried my luck again, and hung aroun dfor a lot longer. I threw more money around than I usually do, and that seemed to work for a while. But remember, boys and girls, in the long run, you always lose. Casinos play to people's addictions. Walk down the line of slot machines and count the number of people with a drink in one hand, a cigarette in the other, playing two slot machines at the same time. No windows so you can discern the passage of time. I enjoy the casino, but I don't go in expecting--or even worse, needing--to win.
Monday
More honesty: I don't remember much about Monday, either. I think Aunt Shirley and Sadie came over for lunch. I think gumbo again. Sadie saw that I was reading Knife of Dreams, which is the 11th in a fantasy series that Robert Jordan refuses to finish. She thought she might be able to get me a signed copy, since she works for a book distributing company (at least I think that's what she does). I'd really be impressed if she could get an autographed copy of the book I'm reading now.
The rest of the day was spent getting ready for...
The rest of the day was spent getting ready for...
More Christmas
Opening presents is always a thrill. All I wanted for Christmas was a bike and pajama bottoms (I felt like I was ten). The DBZ-color vest jacket was nice, too.
We went over to Uncle Jack's for lunch and visiting. This is where I get to visit with people I haven't seen in about a year. I wish I saw them all more often. I hung around for a while looking at pictures and going through some old stuff one of my cousins was giving away. I didn't need a ceiling fan or printer or couch cushions, so I settled for the handheld fan.
The rest of the day was lounging around and eating. I'd given Brooke the Best and Worst of American Idol, and we watched some of it at her house. Her chihuahua, Buddy, assaulted me all night. Licking my face and ears and nose and mouth. But I got to relive the magic of William Hung, Leroy Wells, Ruben and Clay, and some of the really, really awful auditioners who thought they could sing. I watch a lot of comedy stuff, but nothing--and baby I mean nothing--makes me laugh like American Idol. A Merry Christmas indeed.
We went over to Uncle Jack's for lunch and visiting. This is where I get to visit with people I haven't seen in about a year. I wish I saw them all more often. I hung around for a while looking at pictures and going through some old stuff one of my cousins was giving away. I didn't need a ceiling fan or printer or couch cushions, so I settled for the handheld fan.
The rest of the day was lounging around and eating. I'd given Brooke the Best and Worst of American Idol, and we watched some of it at her house. Her chihuahua, Buddy, assaulted me all night. Licking my face and ears and nose and mouth. But I got to relive the magic of William Hung, Leroy Wells, Ruben and Clay, and some of the really, really awful auditioners who thought they could sing. I watch a lot of comedy stuff, but nothing--and baby I mean nothing--makes me laugh like American Idol. A Merry Christmas indeed.
Christmas
I love Christmas. Christmas is fantastic. I don't particularly like the fact that stores put up decorations before Halloween these days, but that's got nothing to do with the actual celebration and meaning of Christmas (though I confess I could listen to Christmas carols all year round).
There has been a lot made recently about the supposed "war on Christmas". If you're talking about Santa Claus, travel hassle, $$ spent on presents, and pointy trees with stars on top, then there's an argument to be made. I understand people who don't profess a certain faith not wanting these things jammed down their throats. But that has nothing to do with what Christmas is supposed to be. They're the commercial and secular aspects that have regrettably come to be associated with Christmas.
Season's Greetings. Happy Holidays. Merry Christmas. I don't think the first two are an attack on the last, though some individuals may use them as such. I think that for the most part people say them to reflect a broadening of the audience they're speaking to, which may include non-Christians. Saying "Happy Holidays" doesn't denigrate Christmas, because it can't. How can it denigrate the memory of the birth of the Son of God? You think a simple two-word phrase can impact such an event, or what it stands for? If what's in our hearts and souls is the truly important thing, then why should we worry about how early the decorations go up or what catchphrase gets used in the Walmart checkout line? And let's not forget that the religious and spiritual meaning of Christmas pales in comparison to Easter.
You might have guessed that I don't really believe that there is a war on Christmas. I think a lot of it is drummed up by people upset that they're not being allowed to do whatever they want in the name of Christmas. But if they want some ammo, then there's this:
A few years ago my cousin was featured in a story by HGTV called "Coming Home" or "Going Home". Part of the show was going to be cousins caroling around town. They gave the TV people a list of songs they were going to sing, but some of them were nixed because they weren't supposed to sing any that mentioned Jesus. Heaven forbid.
There has been a lot made recently about the supposed "war on Christmas". If you're talking about Santa Claus, travel hassle, $$ spent on presents, and pointy trees with stars on top, then there's an argument to be made. I understand people who don't profess a certain faith not wanting these things jammed down their throats. But that has nothing to do with what Christmas is supposed to be. They're the commercial and secular aspects that have regrettably come to be associated with Christmas.
Season's Greetings. Happy Holidays. Merry Christmas. I don't think the first two are an attack on the last, though some individuals may use them as such. I think that for the most part people say them to reflect a broadening of the audience they're speaking to, which may include non-Christians. Saying "Happy Holidays" doesn't denigrate Christmas, because it can't. How can it denigrate the memory of the birth of the Son of God? You think a simple two-word phrase can impact such an event, or what it stands for? If what's in our hearts and souls is the truly important thing, then why should we worry about how early the decorations go up or what catchphrase gets used in the Walmart checkout line? And let's not forget that the religious and spiritual meaning of Christmas pales in comparison to Easter.
You might have guessed that I don't really believe that there is a war on Christmas. I think a lot of it is drummed up by people upset that they're not being allowed to do whatever they want in the name of Christmas. But if they want some ammo, then there's this:
A few years ago my cousin was featured in a story by HGTV called "Coming Home" or "Going Home". Part of the show was going to be cousins caroling around town. They gave the TV people a list of songs they were going to sing, but some of them were nixed because they weren't supposed to sing any that mentioned Jesus. Heaven forbid.
Saturday
I'll be honest. I don't remember what happened on Saturday. I think I had gumbo. My sisters were at the house with their dogs. We had dinner at my sister's and my dad cooked grilled duck breast wrapped in bacon. This is only the greatest thing I've ever eaten. More gumbo. My parents and I walked down to the riverbank to watch fireworks, saw some friends, and that was about the end of the night. If I remember anything else, I'll let you know.
Strange but true
espn.com's Jayson Stark has given us his best "Strange But True" list for 2005. You can read it here.
Implants, Vasectomies, and Hair Extensions
Now that we've got that out of the way, here's the rest of my Christmas vacation:
Friday
I can never sleep when I fly out early the next morning, so i used the night to watch The Agony and the Ecstasy, with Charlton Heston as Michaelangelo and Rex Harrison as Pope Julius II. It's funny to imagine the guy who played Professor Henry Higgins in My Fair Lady taking a turn as the Vicar of Christ. Art history buffs will enjoy the 15 minutes or so they give to a review of the artist's works, and you can skip it if you're not interested. But it's a good movie, with a great memorable line: "I will paint Man as God made him! In the glory of his nakedness!"
I'm going to make a lot of money one day selling deodorized Depends. The 80 year old man next to me on the plane could have used some. Every few minutes it smelled like his incontinence got the better of him. It's a good thing I slept most of the way to DFW.
Dinner that night was with a family friend at a restaurant in Campti. When we picked her up at the home, another woman asked her where she was going. "None of your damn business!" Love Ms. Jeri. She'll be 95 in January.
If you've never been to Sea & Sirloin on a Friday night, I recommend going just for the experience. Lots and lots of camouflage. Caps worn at the table. Big hair. Bad hair. The reddest of rednecks. At one point my sister says, "Look over past the salad bar." A big country boy was about to sit down. I knew what was coming, but never imagined the extent of the horror. I expected a bit of plumber's crack showing, but I never expected four full inches of where the Lord split him. My sisters and I recoiled in horror while the rest of the table wondered what was going on. We explained, but I decided a more visual demonstration was in order. I picked up the baked potatoes from my plate and Ms. Jeri's, put them together and said, "This is what you missed." I thought everybody was going to die.
But lo, my day was not over. For I had scheduled a haircut later on that evening. Or morning, depending on how you define MIDNIGHT. The barber was staying open late due to his partner's illness, and I was put down for 12am. Never done that before, so I was all for it. You would figure that he would be in a hurry, but he took his time and was very meticulous about it all. Thus ended the Friday.
Friday
I can never sleep when I fly out early the next morning, so i used the night to watch The Agony and the Ecstasy, with Charlton Heston as Michaelangelo and Rex Harrison as Pope Julius II. It's funny to imagine the guy who played Professor Henry Higgins in My Fair Lady taking a turn as the Vicar of Christ. Art history buffs will enjoy the 15 minutes or so they give to a review of the artist's works, and you can skip it if you're not interested. But it's a good movie, with a great memorable line: "I will paint Man as God made him! In the glory of his nakedness!"
I'm going to make a lot of money one day selling deodorized Depends. The 80 year old man next to me on the plane could have used some. Every few minutes it smelled like his incontinence got the better of him. It's a good thing I slept most of the way to DFW.
Dinner that night was with a family friend at a restaurant in Campti. When we picked her up at the home, another woman asked her where she was going. "None of your damn business!" Love Ms. Jeri. She'll be 95 in January.
If you've never been to Sea & Sirloin on a Friday night, I recommend going just for the experience. Lots and lots of camouflage. Caps worn at the table. Big hair. Bad hair. The reddest of rednecks. At one point my sister says, "Look over past the salad bar." A big country boy was about to sit down. I knew what was coming, but never imagined the extent of the horror. I expected a bit of plumber's crack showing, but I never expected four full inches of where the Lord split him. My sisters and I recoiled in horror while the rest of the table wondered what was going on. We explained, but I decided a more visual demonstration was in order. I picked up the baked potatoes from my plate and Ms. Jeri's, put them together and said, "This is what you missed." I thought everybody was going to die.
But lo, my day was not over. For I had scheduled a haircut later on that evening. Or morning, depending on how you define MIDNIGHT. The barber was staying open late due to his partner's illness, and I was put down for 12am. Never done that before, so I was all for it. You would figure that he would be in a hurry, but he took his time and was very meticulous about it all. Thus ended the Friday.
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