December 2009

I have seen a few articles/cartoons/blurbs about how lousy 2009 was and how people can't wait for 2010. I hope those people have a good year, but I have to say that 2009 was pretty good to me. I had two good semesters in school and a great summer internship in New Orleans in between. I've been out west to Seattle and Las Vegas and danced the night away a few times in Natchitoches. I have few complaints.

After the fall semester ended, I went off to Las Vegas for a few days. I'd never been before, and had no expectations as to what would happen. I knew that I wanted to wander in and out of casinos and hotels, do some people watching and not lose too much at gambling. I was also intrigued at the possibility of being able to bet on horse races all over the country. In no particular order, here are some observations:

Even non-posh Vegas hotel/casino combos are really nice compared to, say, a Holiday Inn Express.
Flying in at night is pretty cool if the city is on your side of the plane like it was for me.
Allegiant Air tries to compensate for low fares by selling you everything under the sun once you're on board: food, drinks, Blue Man Group tickets, shuttle passes, etc.
Betting on horses consists of long stretches of thinking and planning followed by short spurts of "Aaargh, you bastards!"
There are no stars in Las Vegas, at least when you're looking into the sky over Las Vegas Boulevard.
I can walk a city, but only if it wants to be walked. I think they set the city up to be cabbed instead.
Whatever money the buffet loses on people like me who pile masses of food on their plates, they make back on Chinese girls. There's no way on earth those girls are eating $26.00 worth of food.
A 5-cent machine with a 20 credit minimum bet is a dollar machine.
On the way to my flight home, a 19 or 20-ish pretty girl was telling her father, "...and I was hanging upside down on the pole..."
The shuttle driver told me quite a dirty joke comparing a woman to a tornado.
Sharper than a serpent's tooth, is to meet the most gorgeous waitress you've ever seen on the same day the Saints lose their first game, which leads me to:

My one weakness. Okay, my one weakness, as Homer said, is that I'm weak, but the biggest manifestation of this is my undying appreciation of a good waitress. I mentioned to one of you that one day I will commit an act so heinous that my name will be subjected to spite and slander for all eternity. When asked why I would do such a thing, my story will begin, "Well, there was this waitress..." At no time has this ever been so evident in a non-TWGW situation than the cocktail waitress at the Wynn, who was a vision of divine perfection upon whose face I am unworthy to gaze. I've been in a lot of bars and restaurants, and been waited on by a lot of waitresses. I have never seen one this pretty. Period. Ships are launched and wars are fought over girls like her. I could go on and on, but there's no point. Talk to me one day and my voice and face will tell you everything you need to know.

In non-Vegas news, I was flipping through the channels and stopped on some senators giving a press conference about the vote that passed that now permits them to do something about the health care bill. I believe "talk about it some more" is the newly available action. In the space of two or three minutes they referenced the following figures while praising themselves for such a grand accomplishment: George Washington, Ted Kennedy, Job, Solomon, and Samson. If you ever needed confirmation that some in Congress have an inflated sense of self-worth and seriously need to get over themselves, this is it.

Blind-Sided Ninja

I suppose that in some alternate universe--or perhaps even this one--it is theoretically possible for a human being--or alternate-universe equivalent thereof--to see two more different movies back-to-back than The Blind Side and Ninja Assassin. If so, I would like to know what they are. Such was the case at the majestic Parkway Cinema Theater last night in beautiful Natchitoches, Louisiana. When people used to ask me what I missed about DC, my answer was usually "free museums and Sign of the Whale." I have since amended that to include "10:15am movies on Saturday." I could go to a movie and be out by lunch and have the day still ahead of me. It also allowed me to avoid crowds of people talking, crinkling plastic wrappers, rummaging around in popcorn buckets, and checking their cell phones for text messages (I have a cousin who does this, and I'm going to be arrested one of these days).

Though Natchitoches has progressed greatly, it has not, alas, adopted the weekend morning movie. So last night I paid $7.50 twice to see movies of vastly different subject matter and quality.

NOTE: I used to be able to see an afternoon matinee and eat a small bucket of popcorn for $5.00. As I mentioned to a friend online the other day, there are things that I loved that are no longer, and I have to find new things to love. She lol'd me.

Before we get to the movies, as in real life, let's do a preview. Invictus is coming out this, which I may or may not see. In the preview they play a song that started flipping switches in the back of my head. It was the Ladysmith Black Mambazo version of a song called "Hamba Nathi", and I've heard this song a thousand times.

I used to go to sleep at night listening to their CDs, so I was very happy to recognize it in the movie. I saw them in person at the House of Blues in New Orleans when I was in college, and the lady sitting next to me said, "You seem to know all the words." Not bad for songs that are in a sub-Saharan language, right? Some stuff I've read online says we can expect to hear it a lot during the runup to the World Cup in 2010, which is being held in South Africa. On to the movies:

The Blind Side is based on a book of the same name by Michael Lewis, the author of Moneyball, which I think is a fantastic look at baseball's economics and lesser-known stats. (At least they used to be lesser-known. Now every club probably has somebody paid to pay attention to on base percentage (OBP), value over replacement player (VORP), runs created, and defense independent pitching statistic (DIPS). I always liked secondary average, but when I emailed Rob Neyer about it he said he didn't pay much attention to it.)

The Blind Side investigates the evolution of the left tackle position into the second most important position on the field. The particular object under study is Michael Oher, the current left tackle for the Baltimore Ravens. The story is about how a kid from the poorest part of Memphis ends up being coveted by SEC football powerhouses and ends up playing for Ole Miss. the movie takes things a bit further and includes footage from the 2009 NFL draft. It also takes a little bit of poetic license with his life. One thing I heard was that he had played football for years before getting to his new school, while the movie makes it seems like he'd never put on pads before.

The movie's a lot more of a people story than a football/position/stats story, and I guess it has to be. I'd heard a lot about Sandra Bullock being really good, and I was doubtful. I was wrong. I think she actually was really good. I had to remind myself that I was watching the same woman who starred in two "Miss Congeniality" movies. I think it was the blonde hair that threw me off. Quinton Aaron doesn't say a whole lot, but maybe Michael Oher is supposed to be really quiet. The movie is touching, funny, emotional and pretty darn good. It felt like most of the teary parts come towards the beginning. I heard some people say they'd have thought it was cheesy had they not known that it is based on a true story, and I think they're right. Knowing that it really happened adds a lot to the experience. If you're looking for a Natchitoches connection, the Ole Miss coach in the movie, Ed Orgeron, is an NSU graduate.

One of my favorite aspects of the movie is how many coaches appearing for their team don't coach there anymore. Nick Saban was at LSU, then went to the Dolphins, and is now at Alabama. Philip Fulmer was fired from Tennessee and is out of coaching. Houston Nutt was fired from Arkansas and is now at Ole Miss. Tommy Tuberville was fired from Auburn. Lou Holtz retired from South Carolina and works for ESPN. Orgeron was fired from Ole Miss and coaches the defensive line at Tennessee.

I got another kick out of recognizing Kim Dickens, who was so good as Joanie Stubbs in "Deadwood." I love it when that happens.

At the other end of the spectrum we have Ninja Assassin, the bloody tale of a man raised as a killer who turns around and kills the killers for whom he previously killed. Good movie? No. Anybody you've ever heard of? No, but the Tattoo Master in the beginning is the same guy who played the Keymaker in Matrix: Reloaded. I'm kicking myself for missing that one. The story is simple, but the whole thing is put together terribly. I'd like to tell you the action is good. However, ninjas do all their fighting in the shadows, so you can't really see anything. Lots of blood, though, if that's your thing. I've seen worse, but save your money.

NOTE: My favorite part of Ninja Assassin was the scene with the nightingale floor, which I recognized from having read--quelle coincidence!--a book called Across the Nightingale Floor, a fantasy novel set in a place much like feudal Japan. The floor takes its name from the chirping sound it makes when anyone walks on it and steps in certain spots. Apparently you're not a real ninja until you can walk across one without making a sound. Arbiter of all truth Wikipedia says that they are also mentioned in Terry Pratchett's Interesting Times, which means I'll have to read it. Again. For about the sixth time.