First the Funny, Then the Crazy

Here's the funny. I saw something about this briefly last week, but somehow didn't actually look at it. It's HI-larious, or at least it is to me. Enjoy.

Here's the crazy:

I get off the metro tonight and start walking home. I hear someone yelling. At first I thought it was somebody talking really, really, loud. But I turn around (while still walking the other way) and this girl is sitting on the ground in front of a payphone, yelling at the guy standing next to her. Really screaming at him. I thought he might have been doing something to provoke her, but from where I was he was just standing there. I couldn't hear if he was saying anything.

Then she stands up and SCREAMS something at him. Not regular screaming, but SCREAMING like she was putting all her heart and soul and guts into it, as if SCREAMING at him was the most important thing in the world, a matter of life and death. Not the really high-pitch kind that breaks glass, or the really loud kind that hurts your ears. But the kind that scares you and hurts your heart at the same time. Really letting him have it.

She took a swing at him and screamed some more. She messed around with the phone, leaving it swinging. She yelled some more and took another swing at him. I don't know the first thing about the guy. Maybe he bites the heads off puppies and throws children off of cliffs in his spare time. But I'll give him credit for this: the whole time I watched him, he didn't hit her back. Good for him.

Some more screaming, and then the girls drops her pants. More yelling, and then she tries to climb over the hedges. He goes and gets her and pulls her away. By this time I'm pretty much too far away to make out anything else. It was pretty darn interesting.

Oh, I'm sorry. I seem to have glossed over that last part. Let me type that again. The girl dropped her pants on the sidewalk, in front of God and everybody waiting for a ride home. It looked like she had on underwear (thank heavens, even though it has been unseasonably warm here), but it wasn't more than a g-string, because when she turned around it was a full moon from where I was standing. She stepped out of her pants and tried to climb over the bushes, which I've seen a couple people do there before. That must've been a pretty prickly situation. The last I saw, the guy had hold of her and was presumably trying to calm her down. I hope they made it home okay. On the way back to the apartment I kept expecting her to run past me with no britches on, screaming at the top of her lungs.