Wonderful Wednesday

We've got a great TV viewing experience tonight, boys and girls. At 8 EST we've got Bones, back after a hiatus of a few weeks. Very intense so far. They brought back a very irritating villain, Howard Epps. Great character, but really irritating. I hope he gets hit by a bus.

Then the great beast of them all, American Idol at 9 from Los Angeles.

According to the "Idol Chatter" on USA Today, some people thought it was boring last night. I am not one of those people. We had the "Big Bird Lady", the girl whose father shot her stepmother and himself (wearing a shirt that said "Blue Eyed Bombshell" and living up to the label--okay, I wasn't really looking at her eyes), and the funny chubby guy. I don't know what most people thought of him, but I thought he was hilarious. I hope he hangs around for a while for the comedic value alone.

All in all, I laughed my butt off most of the way through.

"The reason I'm auditioning for American Idol is that I'm the most exciting entertainer on planet earth." And that's how we start the show. As opposed to the something else earth? Ooh, Manoukian is his name. Armenian. I went to school with an Iskendarian and worked with a Garabedian. One of the great segments of Taxicab Confessions involved two Armenian guys who were awesome. Must be something in the water in Yerevan. No better way to close out than some geographical name-dropping.

Many Moons Ago...

I turned 30 on Friday. It was nice.

For the last year or so, I've been telling people that the most annoying thing about getting older is that the stories I tell always seem to have another year or two on them since the last time I told them. I tell a story that happened five years ago, I swear. Then I start thinking about it and it was in 1995. What the hell happened?

In other news, there's a movie coming out called The Messengers. the tagline from IMDB, one of the five best websites on the net:

"There is evidence to suggest that children are highly susceptible to paranormal phenomena. They see what adults cannot. They believe what adults deny. And they are trying to warn us."

I may just be getting the wrong impression, but haven't there been a lot of movies where kids see the baddies and adults don't? I'd really like to see a movie where they reversed the roles. Let the adults see the horrible monsters while the kids wander about in ignorant bliss. Now that would be entertainment.

National Signing Day for high school football recruits is next Wednesday, and I don't get the day off from work. Is there no justice? Is there no law?

Don't do that. Oh please, don't do that.

I have a standing rule about not voting for anyone who cries on American Idol. I think it started with Jennifer Hudson, who has since gone on to some pretty good things. (or at least one good thing so far). I don't have a particular reason, other than I don't like seeing people cry on TV ("real" TV, anyway). However, I did think it was kind of neat when the 16 year old guy whose parents didn't support him made it to Hollywood and started crying when his mom finally told him she was proud of him.

Have I mentioned that I'm glad the show is back on? I am. Very, very glad. Last night the State of the Union resulted in them cutting off what could have been another hour. I'd rather listen to awful people perform on American Idol than listen to the SOTU speech. They release the thing hours in advance anyway so the media can start talking it up, and they'll talk about it for days afterward, so I don't see the point in tuning in.

As you know by now, the Mighty Saints (NO, NO, NO, this girl is terrible. Ouch) lost to the Bears in the NFC title game. Good news is we doubled our all time playoff wins total (really bad, she is). We now have 2. Some people are saying that Reggie Bush's taunting made the Bears play harder and turned the tide of the game. (Darlin', nobody cares how hard you worked for this. Get out. Oh wait, they're going with a soap opera angle. Good job.) It didn't turn it so much that the Saints defense couldn't (yowza, this has to be fake) stop the Bears offense and get the ball right back after making it 16-14. Or so much that the Saints were able to drive down and try a field goal. (We don't care if you think they're making a mistake. You're pathetic. Or at least acting pathetic.) I don't know if being fired up was the reason, but the Bears really rolled from then on.

I'm hoping we can have as good a draft and offseason this year as we did last year. Bush, Colston, Evans, Weatherford, and Roman Harper before he got hurt. Five rookie starters who performed well. Rob Ninkovich got hurt even earlier than Harper, but they really liked what they saw from him as well in the d-line rotation. It's unlikely that things will fall our way so well two years in a row, but I'm eager to see what the second offseason of Loomis/Payton holds.

BCS, Big Trucks, and Curious Math

BCS

On Monday night Florida smacked Ohio State around to the tune of 41-14 in the BCS title game. Just about everyone was surprised, except a guy named Jim Walden, who used to coach at Washington State. He voted Florida #1 in the last regular-season poll, the only voter in the Harris poll to do so, and called this year's OSU team "one of the weakest No. 1 teams in 25 years." Every other #1 vote went to Ohio State. After the game, people were showering him with praise for picking the big underdog over the heavy favorite. Maybe he was prescient, maybe things just worked out for him. But he comes off looking like either a genius or a very lucky man right now.

Did I think Florida could win? Sure. They've got great athletes across the board, a tough defense, and a really, really good coach. Ohio State has the same, of course, but everybody gave them the edge because of Jim Tressel and Troy Smith. Earlier this season Lee Corso listed Jim Tressel's record in "big" games at 30-7. He regularly beats Michigan, and he pulled off a big upset against Miami a few years ago to win the BCS title. Troy Smith's bandwagon started to get full during last season's Fiesta Bowl, when he led OSU to a win over Notre Dame. It gained serious steam this undefeated season and a Heisman trophy.

So the two biggest surprises to me were:

1) Ohio State looked confused all game long, especially on defense. You would figure that with so much time to prepare, Tressel could come up with a defensive game plan to control Florida's offense. Didn't happen. It looked like guys were open over the middle all day long, and it looked like Florida was ready for whatever defensive looks OSU threw at them. Chris Leak played his best game of the season.

2) The pressure Florida's defense put on Troy Smith and the overall effect it had on the OSU offense. Heavy pressure from the ends and some creative blitzing early put Troy Smith on his back and got the Gators an interception. With the way Florida came out rolling on offense, they quickly built a big lead. Troy Smith was 4-14 for 35 yards for the whole game. Yowza.

If you're a Michigan fan, here's something that'll warm your heart:

Ohio State scored a touchdown on the opening kickoff of the game. Ted Ginn went 93 yards, 7-0 Buckeyes. What happens when he reaches the end zone? He gets tackled by two of his own teammates and hurts his ankle. I think he was back in for one play after that, then it was the sidelines for the rest of the game. The fastest player, the big-play threat, the dangerous returner, gone. And at the hands of his own teammates. My dad and I used to watch games and see stuff like a guy make great moves and go untouched to the end zone, then get hit--no, hammered--by his own guys, and we'd say, "I'd be really ticked off if I managed to run all that way without getting hit, and then get blasted by my own guys."

Big Trucks

Last night I went to the Monster Jam at the Verizon Center. You can see the pictures I took here. Most of them aren't that good. The video I got was much better. Observations:

LOUD!!

When those guys gun it and really go, it blows you back. There was a guy in the hallway giving away earplugs beforehand, and like a dope I think to myself, "Bah, it can't be that bad." After about 40 minutes my ears were actually sore. They do a pretty smart thing by breaking up the show into different segments so you're not constantly bombarded with the noise.

Just driving over the cars easily isn't what people want to see. You need to get high up into the air and come down hard. You know how gymnasts want to stick the landing? Here sticking it is boring. If you can almost flip over backwards or somehow lean forward on your front wheels and then rock back, that'll be pretty popular.

They have "Quad Wars", which seems like four-wheeler racing mixed with pro wrestling mic rhetoric. It's not as loud, but the fumes are stronger. Team DC beat Team Philly in the rubber match of three races when a nice-looking blonde girl crossed the finish line first.

They also add in motocross stunt jumping. Each time I was pretty sure that somebody was going to crash and endure a horrible trip to the emergency room. But those guys can do some pretty crazy stuff in midair, like headstands and letting go of things you'd think they would want to hold on to. It was pretty good.

Many moons ago, back when the world was young, I'd see some monster truck stuff on TV. I seem to recall that King Kong or Bigfoot was the big dog on the block. These days it's Gravedigger. It gets the biggest cheers and things seem to be set up for it to succeed. The announcer even calls it "everybody's favorite monster truck" or something like that.

All in all, it's a pretty good show. I'm glad I sat down close my first time, but I think I can settle for farther seats from now on.

Curious Math

I see before me coupons from Pizza Hut. One of them offers a medium pizza for $6.99. It also says "2 for $13.99". Doesn't that mean for two pizzas, they're charging you twice the amount plus one penny? If they charged the same amount per pizza for two as they did for one, the price would come out to $13.98. I may be wrong, but doesn't getting an additional product often come with a discount for the additional product? Something like "Shirts: $4 each or 3 for $10". I don't ever recall seeing a higher per-item price the more you buy. Curious.

In Other News

Congratulations to my good friend Sandy for finishing the Disney Half-Marathon. Good work, my friend. I'm proud of you, and I know I'm not the only one.

Sugar Bowl

You can see what I thought would be the deciding factor in the Sugar Bowl here. A quick quote:

Last year, I thought LSU's offensive line underperformed the same way ND's did this year. But they really pulled it together for the Peach Bowl stomping of Miami. There's certainly the possibility that ND could do the same thing and get it together. As good as LSU's back four are, there's not a secondary in the country that can't be had if you give the QB time to throw.

I think I was a bit off. Notre Dame's offensive line played much better than most people would have expected, they still only put up 14 points, and got outgained by 300 yards in the second half. I had figured that if Brady Quinn had time to throw, he could exploit mismatches against the LSU secondary. In the second half, however, LSU covered the receivers really, really well. The defensive line helped out with a little more pressure and shut down the Irish running game, but I was very impressed with the play of the back four. Jessie Daniels entering the game after being suspended for the first half probably helped.

Additional thoughts:

A lot of people are saying that LSU's receivers had a great game because of their speed advantage over the ND secondary. That could be part of the reason, though I imagine if you lined up the ND players and told them to sprint, they'd be pretty fast. A bigger reason is probably because the ND secondary just doesn't have very good players, fast or not.

The LSU offensive game plan was put entirely on the shoulders of JaMarcus Russell. It's a good thing he's got really big shoulders. He played very well and may have played himself in to a top ten selection in this year's draft. Lots of people said that this could be the last game for him and LSU offensive coordinator Jimbo Fisher. It looked like they wanted to go out with a bang, slinging it all over the place. It was a very aggressive attack to build up a 20 point lead, then they mashed away with the running game for most of the 4th quarter.

Keiland Williams ran hard, strong, and showed good moves. I like how he manages to break tackles while being elusive at the same time. Justin Vincent played a very good and complete game to close out his career. He ran it for about six yards a pop, breaking a lot of tackles. He caught a couple of balls. He blocked well in pass protection. In short, everything he could do to help the team win.

Early Doucet is the best athlete among the big three receivers, and he showed it with a couple of big pass plays. But Dwayne Bowe is the most skilled receiver in terms of running routes and catching the ball. The slants and deep outs he has in his arsenal could serve him well in the NFL. Craig Davis is a little between the two.

Brandon LaFell has two TD catches this season. One in the first game, one in the last, both for 58 yards.

Les Miles is 22-4 as the LSU coach. That ain't too shabby.

Some people are taking this opportunity to bash Charlie Weis, saying he's not as good a coach as he thinks he is or people have been saying he is. I've already mentioned that I've completely drunk the Kool Aid on Charlie Weis. I think that next year may be a setback record-wise for Notre Dame, but by 2008 I think they'll be back in a big way. He's proven to be a very capable recruiter so far. In the next few years I'd expect to see a lot more talent on the o-line, at the skill positions, and in the secondary. Let's see what he can do with equal talent as the other coaches before we label him a bust.

Now we get to turn our attention to the stretch run of recruiting, starting with today's US Army All-American game. Let the fun begin.

Clear Cut, Yes? Clear Cut, No!

I would recommend a John Feinstein article to you. You can find it on the Post's website here. The best thing about the article to me is this line:

"People want heroes to be heroes and villains to be villains. It is rarely that simple and it isn't even close to being true with Knight."

Personally, I think it isn't true for just about everybody. I mentioned this to someone during the last season of The Sopranos. Tony Soprano can be a very frustrating protagonist to root for sometimes. One moment he's cutting short a tryst with another woman because she's unbuttoning the shirt his wife buttoned for him on the way out. The next moment, he's driving along with a Bada Bing girl's face in his lap (to put it mildly). Sometimes people do things they aren't proud of and say, "That wasn't me." Which is nonsense, if you ask me. It's always "me" or "us". We're the same person doing the good thing as we are doing the bad. It's just not that easy to reconcile something like that within ourselves.

My favorite novel is Atlas Shrugged. I think it's wonderfully written and put together. But I disagree with Francisco d'Anconia that there are no contradictions. I think that every human being is a contradiction. We do want two different things at the same time, things that are not only different but contradictory. Things that reject each other. And we still manage to get through every day, pretty much every day. I think that's rather nice.

Bowl Season and other things

A few thoughts on what's taken place in bowl season so far:

BYU beating Oregon 38-8 was a surprise to me. I think Oregon has a talent advantage over BYU, but it's obviously not as big a gap as I thought. You come out and smack somebody around by 30, and that can't be explained by gameplanning and lack of effort alone. Aside from the margin of victory, I think the fact that Oregon scored only 8 points is the biggest shocker for me. They've got some good players on offense, and they had a month to pick apart the Cougar defense on film. It looks really bad to score only 8 points.

Hawaii beat Arizona State in the Hawaii Bowl. It seems that the instant Hawaii becomes bowl eligible, they get an invite from the Hawaii Bowl. I wonder if they'd ever take another bid if somebody else offered. Hawaii is fun to watch, and they hit really hard on defense if nothing else. The crowd is fun to look at. I love those people.

Florida State beat UCLA 44-27 in the Emerald Bowl. That means that even without the blocked punt and interception returns for touchdowns, Florida State still scored 30 points against UCLA's defense, the same unit that held USC's offense to a touchdown. If you ever want to know why people pull their hair out trying to find a bit of predicability in football, that's why.

Oklahoma State beat Alabama in the Independence Bowl. Consider this: with no head coach and a roster that's been depleted by NCAA sanctions, Bama still only lost on a last-second field goal. I'm not saying they deserved to win or are so much better than OSU, but that was still a tad impressive to me.

Cal 45, Texas A&M 10 in the Holiday Bowl. For a long time the Holiday Bowl was the shootout game of the bowl season. Before last year's game, the previous nine winners had averaged 33.7 points a game, and four losers had scored 27 or more. That took a hit last year when Oklahoma beat Oregon 17-14 and this year when A&M got shut out in the second half. The Aggies were 5-2 in their previous seven games and each loss had been by a point, so just looking at the score it's surprising they got hammered the way they did. But watching the game, you could see that Cal clearly had better athletes, better football players, and were the more complete football team. They controlled the line on either side, and smacked the A&M offense around. You're doing pretty well when you have five incompletions the whole game.

The Liberty Bowl may be trying to take the shootout title away from the Holiday:

2005: Tulsa 31, Fresno St. 24

2004: Louisville 44, Boise State 40

This year, South Carolina beat Houston 44-36. You have to feel a little sorry for a defense that Steve Spurrier has a month to prepare for. But Houston used their prep time pretty well, and actually outgained South Carolina. Over 1,000 yards combined between the two. Fun to watch.

I saw the score for the Insight Bowl flash on the bottom of the screen. Minnesota 28, Texas Tech 0. "Don't sleep on Texas Tech," I thought. "That's well within reach of their offense." Final score: Texas Tech 44, Minnesota 41. Hell of a game to watch. Or so I assume, since I wasn't able to watch it. For whatever reason, the NFL Network decided this year to get into the college bowl business. They also televised Thursday night NFL game once the college season, hoping that this would prompt fans to call their cable companies and demand they add NFLN to their listings. I'm glad the Thursday games were stinkers, and I hope the Insight Bowl backfires on them. Thursday night games for the NFL is a dumb idea. Only three days to prepare to face another NFL team is way too little time. I think the games were stinkers because players were tired and coaches didn't have enough time to put in full game plans. For example:

November 26: Cincinnati and Baltimore are both dominant in victory, each shutting out their opponents. 30-0 and 27-0, respectively. November 30: a 13-7 clunker won by Cincinnati. Are you really going to tell me the short week didn't affect the quality of the game?

People should call the bowls and ask that they avoid being broadcast on NFLN until they get a wider audience. You're negotiating from strength, bowl people! Make them become more widespread to accommodate you. Don't let yourself be used as a carrot to attract more viewers to a fledgling operation.

I saw The Good Shepherd over the break. Good movie. I thought the acting was very good. The story is good, and we talked about it a lot afterwards, but I think it could have been put together a little better.

Favorite Christmas present I got: Cubs pullover cap thingy (technical term).

Favorite Christmas present I gave: Light spheres from Pottery Barn.

My mom and I drove down to New Orleans last Friday. This was the first time I'd ridden around since Katrina. I wasn't surprised at the devastation in Gentilly and the Ninth Ward, but I was struck at how it just went on and on, block after block after block. Sixteen months later, there are still intersections without working street lights. One we saw still had a fridge on the roof. A more pleasant surprise was the number of homes in Lakeview that have been rebuilt, or ones that have been razed and the property been rebuilt on.

For the first time in a long time, I sat down with my whole family to watch a Saints game. Each team tried to hand it to the other, but the Saints cut it out in the second half and the Giants kept on going. 30-7 Saints.

Interesting college football recruiting note: Of the top 30 QB's as rated by espn.com, 29 have already given verbal commitments to a school. It's not uncommon for many players to wait till the last minute to declare, so this seems noteworthy to me. I don't know what it means, though.

"Jesus is not a zombie"

Another great line from Bones. Love that show.

But let's talk about Casino Royale. SPOILERS. MAJOR SPOILERS.

Now and then I take notes in a movie for things I want to think about later. Here's some of the stuff I took down.

CHASE: There's a really great chase scene at the beginning of the movie. One of the best I've seen recently. Daniel Craig pursues Sebastien Foucan all over the place, with Foucan apparently doing free running to try and get away. It's really good stuff.

More ads for American Idol. 1/16/07 boys and girls.

EG: Eva Green is a good actress. Maybe very good. But I'm not sure she's right for a Bond girl. I just didn't get the energy from her that I felt I should. There's not enough pizzazz for her to hold up her half of the conversation when she and Bond are doing their witty repartee. She fixes up pretty good, though.

DEALER: At the beginning of the big poker game, the dealer flips out cards to each of the players, often tossing them several feet across the table. Looks really smooth, really cool. If it's real, then that's a helluva dealer. I like watching stuff like that, hard stuff that looks easy when done by somebody who really knows what they're doing.

WARLORD: There's something in this movie that I really appreciate. Our first glimpse of the villain Le Chiffre shows him in Africa, getting money from an African warlord-type character. Later on, the warlord wants his money. What's a warlord to do?

I think there's a tendency to make assumptions about people who live in non-technological areas. Assumptions about lower intelligence or cleverness, for example. That they can't be as smart or as the slick numbers guy from France. That if you swindle them, they won't be able to make you pay. Which is why I'd like to pay my respects to Steven Obanno, played by Isaach De Bankolé. Mr. Warlord tracks Le Chiffre to the poker game in Montenegro, breaks into his room, and threatens to kill him and/or chop off his hand if he doesn't get the money. I was pretty impressed.

STRAIGHT DRINK: After a harrowing adventure, Bond goes to his room and has a drink. About 2/3 of a glass full of whiskey or scotch or something. Just chugs it right down. It probably wasn't really alcohol, but stop and think about it for a second. How tough a drinker do you have to be to drink that much liquor that fast? I might be able to do it with Crown Royal, but I wouldn't go play poker afterwards.

That's it for now. Donald O'Connor is doing the "make 'em laugh" routine in Singin' in the Rain.

TZ Reunion

Many moons ago, back when the world was young, the Twilight Zone had an episode named "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet". It's one of the more notable episodes, with William Shatner playing a man who sees a creature on the wing damaging the plane (the only passenger to see it). Nervous breakdown, monster, airplane, good stuff. Twenty years later, the episode was redone in Twilight Zone: The Movie. John Lithgow played the main role.

Why do I mention this? As you know, I've been going through all the Third Rock From the Sun episodes, and I'd never noticed the quick exchange between Dick and the Big Giant Head (Lithgow and Shatner). BGH mentions that during his flight he looked out the window and saw something on the wing. Dick says, "The same thing happened to me!" Nice add-in with two men who have played the same character.

What else is going on? LSU is in the Sugar Bowl against Notre Dame. I never thought I'd see the day when there were LSU fans out there who were disappointed to be in the Sugar Bowl. Tons of anticipation had been building about going to the Rose Bowl against Michigan, but then USC lost to UCLA and that was the end of that. Here's a brief analysis of the matchup between the two teams:

ND Offense: Good
LSU Defense: Very Good
-------------------
LSU Offense: Good
ND Defense: Bad (sometimes very)

General consensus from what I've read is that LSU is faster on both sides of the ball, but especially on offense versus the Irish defense. I think Notre Dame certainly has a shot because of Brady Quinn and Charlie Weis, but I'm in agreement with the people who list LSU as the clear favorite. I could list important factors like pressuring the QB, running the ball, turnovers, etc., but you can get that anywhere. So I'll just say this:

LSU's defensive line is one of the elite units in the entire country. Fast, mean, deep, smart. Notre Dame's offensive line has not been as good as many people expected it to be, and that's held them back on offense, in my opinion. If these two things hold true in the Sugar Bowl, LSU should really like their chances.

Note: Last year, I thought LSU's offensive line underperformed the same way ND's did this year. But they really pulled it together for the Peach Bowl stomping of Miami. There's certainly the possibility that ND could do the same thing and get it together. As good as LSU's back four are, there's not a secondary in the country that can't be had if you give the QB time to throw. And that's all I have to say about that.

The Sky Is Falling!

Or at least that's what you'd have to believe from the reaction by some people that Congressman-elect Keith Ellison would take the oath of office by taking the oath of office with the Koran instead of the Bible. Ellison is the first Muslim to be elected to Congress. Let's see what some concerned citizens are saying to Congress:

A "...in effect he would be swearing to represent Islam, not United States citizens."

I don't see how he would be swearing to Islam any more than people swearing on the Bible pledge allegiance to Christianity or Rome or Martin Luther.

"When all elected officials take their oaths of office with their hands on the same book, they all affirm that some unifying value system underlies American civilization"

Congressmen don't put their hands on the Bible or any book. They raise their hands and recite the oath mandated by the Constitution. The "underlying value system" is that very Constitution, not Protestantism or Catholicism or [INSERT BRANCH OF CHRISTIANITY HERE]

"We have done quite well without Allah up to now, and I believe we can continue to struggle along without him in the future."

We have done well with Allah till now? No we haven't. Allah is the same God by a different name. Jews, Christians and Muslims are all "people of the book". They just believe different things about the same God.

B "I am considered a senior citizen and in all my 65 years I have never seen the Bible or the Christian religion put down so bad."

If you've never seen the Bible put down so bad, then you really need to get out more. There's a lot worse stuff going on every single day.

"When we let the immigrants that our service men are protecting tell us how and what they are going to do or not do."

We are not letting immigrants make the rules for at least two reasons: There is no rule that says the Bible must be used in the swearing in process, and Keith Ellison was born in Detroit.

"In particular, Keith Ellison a Democrate from Minnesota, newly elected to the U. S. Congress is not going to take the oath of office on the Biblle. He will only take the oath on the Koran. If this is so, then he needs to go to where the people believe in the Koran and use it as their Bible."

You mean someplace like, say, America? There's millions of Muslims living here. Hello?

C "The King James Bible is the Word of God."

Don't get me started. This is a version that worries more about sounding good than putting forth the most accurate translation. It's laughable to think that it reflects the true meaning of the writers responsible for the original.

D "If we stop honouring the One Who has helped us win so may battles and wars in the past, He will lift His Hand of protection and blessing off of our country and allow our enemies to come in upon us."

You'd better be from England or one of the former Commonwealth countries. Even so, you can't go blathering about Americans fighting wars and then spell "honoring" with a "u".

------------------------------------

Several people are writing messages to Congress that include an essay by Dennis Prager about this. You can read the essay here. You can read a very good refutation of it here.

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Some of my comments:

He uses the word "America" like we're some homogenous, single-minded organism instead of a collection of (at least) a thousand different ways of thinking and acting.

He uses "political correctness" as a scare term to describe what is really a man asking to use the book that his religion holds dear.

Here's a good one: "Would they allow him to choose Hitler's "Mein Kampf," the Nazis' bible, for his oath? And if not, why not? On what grounds will those defending Ellison's right to choose his favorite book deny that same right to a racist who is elected to public office?"

Maybe on the grounds that MK isn't held dear by the world's second largest freaking religion. Or that Nazism is a political ideology and not a religion at all. Or what would be my favorite: BECAUSE IT WAS WRITTEN BY A NAZI.

"But for all of American history, Jews elected to public office have taken their oath on the Bible, even though they do not believe in the New Testament, and the many secular elected officials have not believed in the Old Testament either. Yet those secular officials did not demand to take their oaths of office on, say, the collected works of Voltaire or on a volume of New York Times editorials, writings far more significant to some liberal members of Congress than the Bible. Nor has one Mormon official demanded to put his hand on the Book of Mormon."

If Jews haven't asked to be excused from using the Bible, that's on them. It's got nothing to do with Keith Ellison. Just because others opted for the Bible doesn't mean the US House should force it on Ellison.

He's also a bit off on the Mormons, who say they use the Bible in addition to the Book of Mormon.

I'm inclined to say that people are making a big deal out of something that really isn't. But maybe it's a big deal to them, which is fine. It's a free country. However, I think a lot of people take the "America is a Christian nation" ideal for granted, and have a hard time dealing with the "America is a secular country" reality.

Why? Why do you mock me, O Lord?

Over the last few years, there have been billions of words written criticizing the BCS and how it sets up teams to play in the major bowl games. But there is no greater indictment than this: Many people seem to be in agreement that LSU needs Florida to win in order to get an invite to a BCS bowl game (probably Orange or Rose). The Effing Gators have to win. Why? Why do you mock me, O Lord?

In other news, the Mighty LSU Tigers beat Arkansas on Friday 31-26. A great back and forth game, big plays on either side. Arkansas gashed the LSU run defense all day long. Darren McFadden is a phenomenal running back. It didn't help that LSU's linebackers were dinged up, but he's really that good. But LSU played well on offense and got a big kickoff return from Trindon Holliday to put them over the top. A lot of LSU fans were wiping their foreheads in relief.

Should Florida win, LSU could face Michigan in the Rose Bowl, or the winner of the ACC in the Orange Bowl. I'd feel pretty good about either. It could be a good start to the offseason, recruiting, and next season.

One final note: some people are saying that Notre Dame doesn't deserve a BCS bowl. Or Florida doesn't if they lose. Or LSU doesn't anyway. Or whoever doesn't. Let me make this clear: The word DESERVE has no place in a discussion of the bowl bid process. It's about TV, money and maybe matchups. There's no use griping about it. Just be glad if you get in.

The Reaper looks different than I thought

Gallaudet University recently went through a very dramatic time when students shut down the campus to protest the recent choice of university president. The board of trustees eventually caves to the students and removed the nominee. Below is a photo taken from the celebration.


That's a brave man carrying Death on his shoulders.

Gallaudet has had a tough time of it lately. The whole episode came off as a black eye for the school. It looked like the university allowed a student mob to start making the rules, like they can now throw a big tantrum anytime they don't like what's going on and get their way. Sort of an "inmates running the asylum" kind of thing. John McCain resigned his position on the board of trustees. The Washington Post ran a story about lapses in academic standards, incluiding grade fixing. The government funds about two-thirds of Gallaudet's budget, but gives the school a lot of leeway because of it's place in deaf society. If things continue to go badly, people are going to stop caring about the deaf part and start caring about the institutional integrity part.

@$$-gate

At halftime of the LSU/Tennessee game, CBS sideline reporter Tracy Wolfson asked LSU coach Les Miles how LSU could go out and show that they are a good football team. "Play our asses off!" he said. I thought it was great. Pretty surprising, but great. You get the feeling that Miles was really sick of hearing people talk about his supposed inability to coach the Tigers to road wins against ranked teams. I wonder how people forget the game at Alabama last year, when LSU was down and came back to win in overtime. This win might make him feel a bit better.

By the way, I don't recommend googling "assgate" unless you're in the mood for a lot of X's.

How did we win that game?

LSU turned the ball over four times, while taking it away from the Vols only once. One of the INTs was returned for a touchdown. The game was on the road, and Tennessee got a relatively inspired performance from backup quarterback Jonathan Crompton, including two long touchdown passes that got the crowd into the game. LSU committed eight more penalties than Tennessee as well. LSU's leading Russell was the 260-pound quarterback, who had an amazing 34 yard run. The referees missed what looked like an obvious touching on a Vols punt return that would have given LSU the ball on the UT 4 yard line.

So how did LSU win?

1) The defense. Tennessee managed only 247 yards, and only 62 on the ground. The defensive line shut down any holes, and the linebackers didn't allow anybody to get outside. They had two sacks, several other pressures, and an INT. Whenever the offense didn't turn it over, they made life tough on the Vols offense. They knocked Tennessee starting QB Erik Ainge out of the game in the first quarter (Ainge is the nephew of Danny Ainge).

2) A diverse and surprising ground game. I already mentioned Russell's rushing, which always came in big situations. Keiland Williams carried the ball on the second play of the game, and I'm not sure if he even saw the field before the 4th quarter in any other game. He ran with good speed and power, and I'm not sure Tennessee was expecting him. LSU also used Jacob Hester, Alley Broussard, Justin Vincent, and Trindon Holliday at running back. Holliday looks like he can go the distance on every play. He's incredibly quick and fast.

3) Russell connected on several screen passes to Dwayne Bowe and Early Doucet (inside screen to Bowe, bubble screens to Doucet) and it looked like Tennessee had no real answer for them. Bowe's TD came on one of these near the goal line, and his fumble came on one at midfield. Craig Davis also had a TD catch, but Bowe and Doucet were the two most popular targets on the day. Doucet snagged a hard pass out of the air that may have been meant for Bowe in the back of the end zone, but it turned out to be the game-winning catch.

4) LSU didn't go in the tank and quit after making so many mistakes. As hard as it is to believe, the Tigers always looked like a team that believed that victory would be gained. It's great to watch.

In Praise of Random

I wrote here about the appeal of sameness and routine. It's still as nice now as it was then. It's nice not to have to say, "You mean I have to do what today?" Having said that, over the last few weeks I have gained a greater appreciation for what I think of as "The Joy of Random" (technically, it should be "randomness" since it's a noun and "random" is an adjective, but I think it works better my way). The two main ways I've seen randomness add a certain flavor to life are humor and storytelling.

1) Humor: a random word in an unexpected place can make for a really good joke. The people you're talking to have no idea where it came from, and maybe neither do you. A word that seemingly has no connection to the conversation, but you find that it really works. Sometimes I think of these words as "appropriately random", although I think you could make a case for that being an oxymoron.

2) Storytelling: I think storytelling gets a huge boost from randomness of experience. Something that happens to you totally out of the blue that you can't wait to tell people about. Sometimes I'll be in the middle of something and already be thinking about how I'm going to tell the story to other people. The "getting kicked in the butt by a girl while at the urinal" episode is just the latest. Sign of the Whale is a great place for randomness to happen to me.

Third Dick From the Sun

I won't say that I forgot and needed to be reminded, so I will say that it's very, very nice to experience the wackiness of 3rd Rock From the Sun again on DVD. I liked it a lot when it was on TV, and I like it even more now. Wonderful writing and an on-screen chemistry among everybody in the cast made for a fun time all the time. Chemistry between the two love interests is important and rare enough, so for it to exist from top to bottom is outstanding.


One thing I really enjoy is that it was willing to do a lot of different things. Some shows do one thing and do it very well. Some do things that nobody has ever done before (though doing something that's never been done before...has been done before). 3rd Rock never fell into the trap of sameness. It helped that they could approach the most ordinary things with a fresh perspective. Two scenes that stand out are Dick experiencing kleenex for the first time and being freaked out by a pop-up book. Speaking of Dick...

One of the more enjoyable minor points of the show was that they often found inventive ways to work "Dick" into the title. Some examples:

Lonely Dick
Angry Dick
Selfish Dick
Much Ado About Dick
Dick Jokes
Dick Behaving Badly
Will Work for Dick
Stuck With Dick
Near Dick Experience
Shall We Dick?
My Mother, My Dick

It waned a bit the last two seasons, but it was a nice touch.

Ginormous

This weekend I watched most of Nebraska's game against Texas, then hopped on the bus to Tyson's Corner. Yes, the bus. I know I always tell people not to take the bus. "Have you seen the people who ride the bus?" I ask. "They let anybody on the bus!" But Tyson's is so close, it's almost stupid for me not to get there somewhat regularly.

I went to see The Prestige, though I can't exactly say why. It was mostly good. The cast is really good in the top four, and solid everywhere else, so the acting is quite good. I like the overall story as well. It jumps back and forth a lot, so you have to figure out who is doing what and when, but that's okay. I'm not sure the writers did a good enough job of making sure that the audience knows what's going on at all times, but there's nothing wrong with making people think a little more than usual. I usually watch movies to escape from thinking too much, so I never experience movies like this the way the makers intend. When I start thinking about it, I stop paying attention, if that makes any sense. I got part of the "surprise" ending, but not the whole thing.

Now that I think about it, I had heard before going to see it that David Bowie was in the movie. I forgot all about him and didn't even remember him until I linked to the IMDB page just now. I think this means two things: a) He did a great job of playing his character and not David Bowie. Very serious, very "clipped" (that's the best word I can think of) and b) I really don't see David Bowie often enough to recognize him without unless I'm expecting it.

Went home to watch LSU beat Fresno State 38-6. LSU too fast, Fresno State not good enough at skill positions.

Sunday was fun. I went to the National Zoo to see the new Asia Trail, which was good. I'm particularly fond of the red panda. When I win the lottery and plant a huge forest of bamboo in my back yard, I'm going to import a few and let them go wild.

Lunch at Chipotle in Chinatown, then a short walk to the National Portrait Gallery. When you're in town, you might want to stop by. Pack a lunch and a new pair of shoes. That place is Ginormous. I was in there about three hours, and I'm not sure I saw everything. There are many very impressive pieces of art in there. I looked at a big portrait of Toni Morrison and thought, "That guy cheated. It looks too real. There's no way anybody can paint something that looks that real." Then I saw the entries in the Portrait Competition.

The winner is another painting that looks like a photograph. I'm not a huge painting afficianodo, but there are some things I like:

Frontier landscapes that people made when the West was being pioneered

Ships at sea with a storm on the way

Italian religious paintings with colors still bright after 400 years (or however long it's been)

Details. I really, really like little details that an artist can add to a painting that make it so much better. It's often a little thing or something most people wouldn't think about adding, but it will work so well that you can't imagine it any other way. The first prize winner is here:




So if you're in town, I encourage you all to go see the Portrait Gallery. They had it closed down for what seemed like several years. With all the stuff in there, I can see what took them so long. Well done.

Ah, now I remember...

...why I used to hate the Miami Hurricanes with such gusto. Not because of the brawl they had with Florida International this past Saturday, but because they used to recruit bigmouth jerks like Lamar Thomas, who shot their mouths off about how great they were and mercilessly taunted their opponents. So it did my heart good to hear that he'd been fired as an announcer for praising the Miami Hurricane players for fighting on the field, and even adding that the two teams should meet after the game and get it on some more.

As it just so happens, Lamar Thomas was involved in one of my favorite college football plays of all time. In the Sugar Bowl against Alabama, Miami was getting hammered. Deep in their own territory, Thomas caught a long pass down the left sideline and was headed for the end zone. George Teague caught up with him, reached around, and took the ball right out of his hands before he could score. The play was nullified by an offsides penalty on Alabama, but it still prevented what could have been a big momentum changer in that game. Alabama went on to crush Miami 34-13, with Miami's only TD coming on a kickoff return. One of my favorite games ever.

Miscellaneous Items, Various Topics, and Sundry Others

Three good words there. The first is used the most. The second gets you out of jams when you don't know what else to say. The third is my favorite, but you can only use it in conjunction with "others" so possible uses are limited.

First things first: My buddy Corey has started his own myspace page. I'm taking bets on how long it takes him to get seduced by a 45 year old man.

It did my heart good to see this, a home video of Florida basketball coach Billy Donovan dropping the crystal trophy they got for winning the NCAA title last year. Stupid Florida.

In case you haven't taken notice of this story, there's some interesting stuff going on at Gallaudet University in DC. A lot of students don't like the new choice for university president and feel that they're not being paid attention to enough by the administration. So they shut down the university for three days with protests. Friday night, 133 students were arrested. The really interesting aspect from an outsider's point of view is what happens when a deaf person gets arrested and put in handcuffs. Since they communicate with their hands, it's like tying them up and putting a rag in their mouths at the same time. Only considering what it must be like to be deaf in a hearing world, you'd have to multiply it by many, many times to get the full effect.

The Mighty Saints improved to 5-1 yesterday with a 27-24 win over the Eagles. You can see highlights of the game here. The Eagles entered the game leading the league in sacks, but didn't get Drew Brees down once. How? I'll tell you. The offensive line protected well on pass plays, and they mauled the Eagles defensive front on power runs up the middle. The latter allowed them to get the defense back on its heels a little bit and set up play-action. Second, the game plan was a great mixture of the aforementioned runs and p-a, plus quick passes that allowed Brees to get rid of the ball before pressure could get to him, either from the front four or blitzes. The run game and quick passing made it tough for the Eagles to blitz as much as they wanted to.

As for the game itself, it was a matter of big runs on either side. Saints went up 10-0 and 17-3 at halftime. Eagles came out in the second half and scored 21 straight. Saints bounced back immediately and tied it at 24, then held the Eagles with 8:26 to go in the game. The Eagles never saw the ball again. The Saints drove and drove and drove, getting first down after first down. On 3rd and 1, Deuce McAllister bulled ahead for a first down and brought it to the two minute warning. McAllister ran great and tough the whole time he was in the game, with only a hamstring pull taking him out of the game in the first half.

This brought us to an interesting turning point in the game. Sean Payton, who has done seemingly everything right so far this season, called for three straight kneel downs. The Eagles were out of timeouts, so the Saints were able to run it all the way down to three seconds before calling their last timeout and kicked a field goal to end the game. A lot of people probably knew what he was doing, but may not have agreed with it. Why not at least try for a touchdown before settling for the kick? He didn't want Donovan McNabb to have the ball again is why. Score early and you give them a chance to tie. Score late and that chance never happens. If Carney misses the kick he looks like a dope who doesn't have confidence in his team. If Carney makes it he looks like a smart, clever coach who is always thinking ahead. Carney made it, so Payton looks pretty smart.

Words of Praise

I like classical music, oldies, African acapella, and a various songs from other genres of music. But my favorite songs are the hymns we sing in church. I don't know exactly why. I'm sure a lot of it has to do with the fact that I've been singing them for a long time, and I have a familiarity with them that I don't have with other songs. Part of me would like to believe that it's because the words of the songs are written in praise of the One who made us all. If this is the reason, then it comes as no surprise that I really like the passage in Paradise Lost that depicts Adam and Eve going forth to praise God. In Book V, they begin:

These are thy glorious works, Parent of good,
Almightie, thine this universal Frame,
Thus wondrous fair; thy self how wondrous then!
Unspeakable, who sitst above these Heavens
To us invisible or dimly seen
In these thy lowest works, yet these declare
Thy goodness beyond thought, and Power Divine:
Speak yee who best can tell, ye Sons of light,
Angels, for yee behold him, and with songs
And choral symphonies, Day without Night,
Circle his Throne rejoycing, yee in Heav'n,
On Earth joyn all yee Creatures to extoll
Him first, him last, him midst, and without end.

They continue on, entreating the different part of Creation to give praise to the Maker. I just think it all sound really nice. A lot nicer than Atlas Shrugged, and that's my favorite novel. Milton put out some pretty good stuff, like Raphael explaining free will to Adam and Eve:

Attend: That thou art happie, owe to God;
That thou continu'st such, owe to thy self,
That is, to thy obedience; therein stand.
This was that caution giv'n thee; be advis'd.
God made thee perfet, not immutable;
And good he made thee, but to persevere
He left it in thy power, ordaind thy will
By nature free, not over-rul'd by Fate
Inextricable, or strict necessity;
Our voluntarie service he requires,
Not our necessitated, such with him
Findes no acceptance, nor can find, for how
Can hearts, not free, be tri'd whether they serve
Willing or no, who will but what they must
By Destinie, and can no other choose?

That's good stuff, boys and girls. I especially like the part about us not being ruled by Fate. I don't happen to believe in fate or destiny, whichever name you decide to give it, so that has great appeal to me.

I've started Book VI, which depicts the battle between the faithful and unfaithful angels in heaven. Things get really good here. Abdiel, the lone angel to remain faithful among those called away by Satan, smiting him a great blow to the head. Then after much fighting, Satan squaring off against Michael, the greatest warrior in Heaven. And they talk trash to each other! How great is that? The buildup is even better than the blow:

They ended parle, and both addrest for fight
Unspeakable; for who, though with the tongue
Of Angels, can relate, or to what things
Liken on Earth conspicuous, that may lift
Human imagination to such highth
Of Godlike Power: for likest Gods they seemd,
Stood they or mov'd, in stature, motion, arms
Fit to decide the Empire of great Heav'n.
Now wav'd thir fierie Swords, and in the Aire
Made horrid Circles; two broad Suns thir Shields
Blaz'd opposite, while expectation stood
In horror; from each hand with speed retir'd
Where erst was thickest fight, th' Angelic throng,
And left large field, unsafe within the wind
Of such commotion, such as to set forth
Great things by small, If Natures concord broke,
Among the Constellations warr were sprung,
Two Planets rushing from aspect maligne
Of fiercest opposition in mid Skie,
Should combat, and thir jarring Sphears confound.
Together both with next to Almightie Arme,
Uplifted imminent one stroke they aim'd
That might determine, and not need repeate,
As not of power, at once; nor odds appeerd
In might or swift prevention; but the sword
Of Michael from the Armorie of God
Was giv'n him temperd so, that neither keen
Nor solid might resist that edge: it met
The sword of Satan with steep force to smite
Descending, and in half cut sheere, nor staid,
But with swift wheele reverse, deep entring shar'd
All his right side; then Satan first knew pain,
And writh'd him to and fro convolv'd

Take that, jerk. And tell the Robot Devil I said hello when you get back to Hell.