Apparently, I'm Black..

...which will come as quite a surprise to my parents, who are Chinese.

Here are my apparent qualifications:

I saw The Last Dragon in the theater, can name characters such as Bruce Leroy and the Shogun of Harlem, and can quote a line or two. My sister and I were the only white people in the whole place. The one bestowing Blackness upon me (or at least speculating that I was black in a previous life) was quite surprised.

I don't freak out around black people. Hey, my hometown is more than half black, so it's not like I'd never seen one before.

I prefer UNC over Duke. I do like UNC--particularly when Dean Smith was the coach--but not as much as I detest Duke. I don't detest them because they are UNC's rivals, but because they beat UNLV in the 1991 Final Four, which brings me to my next qualification:

1991 UNLV was my favorite college basketball team of all time. Larry Johnson, Stacey Augmon, Greg Anthony, Anderson Hunt, and George Ackles. They murdered everyone they played and won me a $10 bet with a classmate when they trounced Arkansas in Fayetteville (alas, the loser never payed). They were 30-0, beating teams by about 27 a game and scoring almost 100 per. They'd beaten Duke by 30 in the finals the year before. Duke beat them in the national semis in '91 79-77, earning my eternal ire. Apparently, the brothers really loved '91 Vegas, too.

I mentioned Oprah After the Show one day. Hey, everybody loves Oprah.

These are all the "qualifications" I can think of that have been discussed. As a wise man once said, "We're all black when the lights go out."