Movies and Museums

These two things have taken up a rather large chunk of the time I've spent in the DC metropolitan area. I don't regret that at all. Good thing, too, since that's what I did yesterday. I saw Hellboy 2: The Golden Army. I would tweak the title to read The Golden Duet instead. The duet designation can refer to my two favorite scenes in the movie, which ran back-to-back, or to the actual duet that occurs in movie. You can't go wrong either way. Both were reminders of why I like going to see movies in the theater, because they were just so much fun and so well done. For me, going to the movies is supposed to be an entertaining experience. I don't mind the serious stuff now and then, but I'd rather enjoy myself. The torture porn and scary stuff isn't really for me. I have an overactive imagination as it is, so I don't need any help dreaming up horrible things that could happen to me.

As for the film itself, it's directed by that nice Spanish gentleman who also did Pan's Labyrinth, which got such good reviews. He brought that same visual creativity to Hellboy, and it looks wonderful. The action was okay, nothing that thrilled me. I would like to have seen more of Jeffrey Tambor's character, but I guess I understand why they didn't use him that much.

Two other things that bothered me: 1) Selma Blair is a real downer. She never smiles or looks happy. Maybe she was depressed by bad acting. 2) I never felt any real threat from the bad guy. In movies and in pro wrestling, they say the hero is only as heroic as the villain in villainous (only they probably use simpler words like "good" and "bad"). This bad guy didn't seem all that remarkable. Good fighter, but that's about it. There's no real sense that this guy actually can win, even though we know he's the bad guy and will lose in the end.

This is sort of the opposite of the problem I had with the recent Superman movie, if you will allow me the hubris of quoting myself:

"The only major critique I have would be that I didn't really feel a lot of suspense or danger. He's Superman, for crying out loud. He's going to save the day, and come out pretty much unharmed in the end. Not anybody's fault, but it's just the nature of the adventures of Superman, I guess."

It's hard to feel suspense with Superman vs Luthor because he's Superman. It was hard to feel suspense with Hellboy 2 because Prince Nuada is not like a Doomsday or Darkseid or any of the other titanic bad guys that have challenged Superman.

One more note: I found the Elvish language interesting. It's not the soft, gentle, flowing stuff you get in Lord of the Rings. It's a bit harsher, more earthy. I don't know what they based it on, but it sounded a little Teutonic to me, a reminder that elves originated in Germanic mythology.

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Some years ago I started to think that everything in life could be related back to one of two things: The Simpsons or Hitler (who said anything about Hitler?). So it was no surprise when I was playing this scene over in my head yesterday:

Professor Frink takes over the kindergarten class, drawing equations and
free-body diagrams on the blackboard to explain the workings of one of
those things that kids push which makes the balls pop.

Frink: N'hey hey! Ahem, n'hey, so the compression and expansion of the
longitudinal waves cause the erratic oscillation -- you can see
it there -- of the neighboring particles.
[a girl raises her hand]
[sighs] Yes, what is it? What? What is it?
Girl: Can I play with it?
Frink: No, you can't play with it; you won't enjoy it on as many levels
as I do.
[he chuckles as he plays with it] The colors, children!

After the movie I wandered over to the Ripley Museum to see the exhibit of Jim Henson's creations, the Muppets first and foremost. It was nice. Not mind-blowing, but nice. They have an 18-minute film showing highlights of Henson's career. At one point a little girl was sitting to my right. As scenes from the old Muppet Show (one of the five greatest TV shows of all time) and Sesame Street and The Dark Crystal rolled by, I wanted to tell her, "You have no right to be watching this. You don't appreciate it on as many levels as I do." I somehow managed to restrain myself.