Saturday: A Play in Four Acts

Saturday the 16th was a very interesting day that was broken up into four separate activities, one of which I had never done before. The other three are things that I enjoy very much. All told it added up to nineteen hours of fun and merriment. On to the show:

Act I, where our hero reads to children

I was asked to read at the St. Mary's Quiz Bowl tournament Saturday morning. Twenty-four teams from both far and near (Vandebilt Catholic in Houma and St. Mary's itself) competed in round robin and elimination rounds. I played Quiz Bowl for three years in high school, and the team my junior year was particularly good. There is nothing more frustrating for a team than a moderator (reader) who doesn't know what they're doing, can't pronounce words correctly, has no rhythm, and just makes things more difficult for the players. A lot of players think to themselves, "Geez, I can do better than that!" So when I was done as a player, put my money where my mouth was.

I read for both the St. Mary's tournament and state tournaments, the latter of which is held at NSU each spring. One year I traveled with Natchitoches Central's team and read at Grant High School's tournament. I absolutely love it. I'm also pretty good at it, if customer feedback is any indication. I walked into a room at St. Mary's and one of the players looked up and said, "Hey, you're the good reader!" I said, "Yes. Yes I am." One of the parents told me that he was going to be reading for the first time at an upcoming tournament, and that he would pattern his style after what he saw me do. I thought that was quite a compliment.

NOTE: If you've ever heard the phrase "in the middle of nowhere," I'm pretty sure it was coined to describe Grant High School in Dry Prong, LA. Driving there leads to this experience:

TREESTREESTREESTREESTREESTREESTREESTREESschoolTREESTREESTREESTREESTREES.

Act II, where our hero socializes with others

Normally I would have stayed the whole tournament and possibly read for the finals. On this day, however, there was things a brewin' elsewhere. They had the last two rounds covered, so I made my way to Chili's on Keyser Avenue to watch the Cardinals/Saints playoff game with some friends and family. It was 7-7 when I got there, and the Saints took off from there to win 45-14. Along the way they absolutely clocked Kurt Warner and knocked him out of the game for a while. Reggie Bush had two touchdowns that got us out of our seats. I ended up leaving early due to another commitment. Thankfully, the game was well in hand.

Act III, where our hero devotes himself to serving others.

A couple of weeks before I knew the Saints would be playing on Saturday instead of Sunday, I agreed to work at a party my cousin was having at her house. She and her husband are members of a local Mardi Gras krewe, and this was one of their functions. Along with another one of my cousins, I worked as a bartender for the party.

NOTE: At least ten of my cousins were there, if not more. Keep that in mind when I throw the word "cousin" around. It's usually not the same person each time.

I had never tended bar before, so it was a good thing my cousin was helping me. She could take care of anything exotic, which I would define as anything that a) contains more than two ingredients (ex: "screwdriver" or "mimosa"; b) goes by a name that does not include said ingredients; and c) needed to be shaken. Most people either had wine or a "something and something" that was alcohol and a soft drink. I can handle that.

We never got rushed too bad, and the guests were nice to us. Somebody thought I looked really nervous, but I don't think I was. If there would have been bad consequences to me going down in flames, maybe I would have been. I didn't think there were, so I was pretty calm. I mostly enjoyed it, and I wouldn't mind doing for pay as long as I got to name two conditions: 1) I don't have to know how to make ridiculously exotic stuff with funny names and 2) I get the slowest shift of the day. I can do ONE thing at a time, folks. You say what you want, I make it, and I give it to you. I'm not listening to four different drink orders with three things each and remembering all that. I'm not The World's Greatest Bartender, you know.

NOTE: Like The World's Greatest Waitress, The World's Greatest Bartender is an official Scotty Williams Designation. It's a different person, as is My Favorite Bartender. I have also created a new designation for The World's Greatest Cocktail Waitress, which of course goes to that girl at the Wynn Casino. With that, let me sighhhhhhh my way on to the final act:

Act Four, where our hero engages in lively behavior

I went with some people from the party to a bar and danced. We shut that place down. I was quite impressive. The end.