Snarkiness

I know I have previously written about trying to restrain myself when commenting on the status updates of my Facebook friends. I even considered giving up commenting for Lent. I've decided that instead of risking offending people by pointing out the nonsense that they put up for all the world to see, I'll put it here, where nobody can see. On the Internet.

These are my responses to status updates, which I shall not be quoting. You'll probably be bright enough to figure out what they said anyway.

"Based on your terrible taste in men, I'm so glad you're single too."

"You named your daughter after a city in Texas? And it wasn't Paris?"

"I'd be more likely to join that group supporting/opposing the health care bill if I thought you had any idea what was in it." (NOTE: I'm sure at least two or three of you do know)

"When you're not posting song lyrics, you curse too much in your status, and your friends who comment sound stupid. The next original thing you post will be your first."

"Your post implies that I would have at some point actually loved 'Tik Tok', and I can assure you that that never happened."

"You praying for your 'haters' is admirable, though crowing about how it makes you better than them rather defeats the purpose, does it not? By the way, you seem to have an awful lot of haters on a regular basis. Are you sure you're not the problem?"

"You do know you're a school teacher, right?"

"The 'gotcha' example you're trying to use so wittingly is 17 years old, was done by different people than those who are trying to do something else today, and isn't 'the exact same thing' at all. I know the point you're trying to make, but there are better, more current ways to do it."

"No, my question makes perfect sense, you just didn't understand it. I'll keep the reason why I think you didn't understand it to myself. And since you apparently can't understand anything I've ever posted, I'll go ahead and hide you to save us both some trouble. You're welcome."