Tremble before the awesome footballing power of...FRED?

The story goes that when soccer was first becoming popular in Brazil, it was considering a low-class sport, only for the riff-raff to take part in. So when the papers reported on the results of games, the players would identify themselves with aliases so people wouldn't know who they were. The trend continued after the sport became respectable. Brazil has since turned into the premier soccer nation on the planet, winning five World Cups and spawning great player after great player.

The names these players have taken have often been flashy and catchy, and are usually just one name. We've been graced with Pele, Garrincha, Jairzinho, Zico, Romario, Socrates, Bebeto, Dunga, Leonidas, Tostao, and Zizinho. The current World Cup squad features names such as Cafu, Ronaldo, Ronaldinho, Roberto Carlos, Adriano, Ze Roberto, Cicinho, Gilberto, and......FRED? How can they let a guy with such a boring name onto the most celebrated squad in the world? Brazilian soccer names are supposed to have pizzazz and set off fireworks in your brain. Fred?

This year's Brazilian team gives us some seriously entertaining players. The most famous are Ronaldo (speed dribbling and quick striking), Ronaldinho (fancy dribbling 1-on-1, 1-on 2, 1-on-3, 1-on-4, etc. and precision passing), Adriano (combining great ball skills with serious power), Roberto Carlos (making runs up the left side and blasting free kicks from who knows how far out), and a personal favorite of mine, Cafu. He's a right fullback trapped in a forward's body, game, personality, you name it. One of the great sights from the last two World Cups is Cafu streaking up the right sideline, taking a long cross right out of the air and taming it with his feet. Should Brazil make the finals, Cafu would have seen the field in four straight final matches.

After all that, I guess I should say something about the USA. I hope we win. Nothing would tick off the rest of the world more than the United States wining the biggest sporting event there is. Especially since they like to take solace in the fact that it's something (often the only thing) they do better than us. We don't have a "Fred", but we do have a DaMarcus and an Oguchi. So there.